Turning A Page

I sat staring into the space in front of Zacky's chest, his words repeating themselves over and over in my head. They were shocking, raw, beautiful, and heartfelt and I could tell they were completely truthful. I could feel him looking at me for any sign of a reaction, his head slowly sinking.

Raising my glance I saw optimism shine back at me through a watery green gateway to his heart and soul. I kept quiet as I took in his features, marvelling at his perfect eyebrows, pouty lips, and of course those hypnotising green orbs.

"Please Princess, you're killing me here. Just say something, anything!" A single tear escaped, only trailing half way down his cheek before I reached to brush it away.

"I'm just... wow[/b>." Now I was the one having trouble finding my words. Zacky was still watching my face intently, not being able to figure out how I was taking his bombshell. My thumb was still tracing shapes over his fingers and I caught him glancing down with a faint smile. I guess that I was still touching him was a good sign, and I think it was keeping both of us calmer than we would have been otherwise. "That was... I never expected anything like that," I spoke honestly. "It's a shock, definitely a shock. I mean, I know I haven't known you very long, but the whole time you've been so kind and generous, it seems impossible that you could ever have been anything else. But maybe I'm just naive." I laughed humourlessly, realising that I really was. Come on, I hadn't noticed my boyfriend having an affair for months, how could I be so blind?

Zacky must have figured out what I was thinking because I was soon huddled against his chest, a hand smoothing over my hair as he rocked me gently. "He was a complete asshole who, from what I can tell, never deserved to have a place in your life. I know this is going to sound really bad, but I'm kinda happy you caught him like that. It meant I got to meet you and turn my life around. If you hadn't I'd be with some nameless chick instead of my Princess."

I could hear the smile in his voice, and I had to agree that it wasn't such a bad thing. I'd been happier in the last few days than I had been over the last few years. I know a lot of that was because of Johnny (despite the fighting), but Zacky had played a big part too.

"Thanks Stevie," I kissed his cheek with a smile as I pulled away from him. "I know it must've been hard for you to tell me everything. It means a lot that you're being honest from the start, and it really changes nothing. I like you a lot, and I'm pretty sure you know that," I paused, smirking knowingly as he blushed a little. "For some reason, we just clicked, and it's been really easy to let you in. I don't trust people easily, and I'm usually really quiet around strangers, but somehow you managed to bypass my little inner security network." Yes, I'm an idiot who actually said that out loud. At least Zacky laughed a bit though, it was good to see him smiling and looking almost his usual cocky self. "So yea, you do make me smile, and laugh. I love hanging out with you. But," I paused a little as his smile faded, his eyes turned dark and his head dropped back down, "I don't know if I'm ready to risk being hurt again just yet."

I reached out to grab his hand again, missing the contact, and needing him to know I didn't mean to hurt him. My other hand made its way to his face, cupping his cheek and lifting gently so he'd look at me again. Just looking at each other I hoped he could read the reasons behind my hesitance. It wasn't that I didn't trust him; it was that I didn't trust anyone.

A sudden thought went through my head, Zacky's eyebrow rising as if he saw the proverbial light bulbgoing off above me. "Johnny knew you were going to tell me." It was a statement more than a question, but Zacky nodded in confirmation.

"How did you know?"

"I know JC almost better than I know myself. He was acting like normal when we came home tonight instead of looking at you like it could kill you."

Zacky laughed again, "Yea, I told him at dinner when we went out for a smoke." I frowned at their unhealthy habit. I'd never smoked even once in my life, and never planned on doing it either. I didn't care that it was the 'cool' thing to do, or that ninety percent of the people I knew did it. It was my personal choice to stay away from the cancer sticks after seeing firsthand just how destructive lung cancer could be to someone's life.

Believe me, it's not fun having to hear someone you love wheezing after walking from one end of the house to the other because they had half a lung removed, or hearing someone cough up phlegm continuously. My grandmother had done those two things for the last ten years of her life. She'd managed to beat lung cancer, then breast cancer and she was my hero for being so strong throughout everything. I was the one person she told when she was ready to give up from the constant agony she went through, only to find out she had lung cancer again. She'd been given three to six months to live, but barely made it a week. She was ready to go, and I was relieved that she was free of her pain. I didn't need to be selfish and wish her to stay around when she didn't want to be there.

"I wish you'd both quit," I mumbled quietly under my breath, not sure if I was heard or not.