Keep Me Together

Pain n.
1. An unpleasant sensation occurring in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury, disease, or emotional disorder.
2. Suffering or distress.
3. Emotional suffering or mental distress.

Pain fades after time. No. It doesn’t fade; you get used to the feeling and care just as much about the pain as joy and happiness. The pain becomes a part of your personality. The empty look in your eyes, the sad frown that seems to be a permanent trait on your usually so beautiful face.

No, pain never fades, it always there. But you find different techniques to forget about it for a minute or two; like blasting your stereo, talking nonstop about something ordinary, like the weather or the news.

But then you reach the point where the pain is able handle. When you seek out a place where you can sit in silence and peace and think of the happy memories and at the same time let the sorrow and yearning for that special person rage through.

Elenia was at the point. She went to school, hung out with her friends, went home and had dinner with her family before she did her homework and went to sleep. Austin, Miri and Harry looked out for her, though she wanted to spend time with Miri alone; then the pain was easier to handle.

Because Harry and Austin knew. They knew exactly where he was, what he did and what he had for breakfast. They knew what he thought about her, if he missed her or not. They knew if he still loved her, or had moved on. But they never told her; Elenia had made it clear that she couldn’t handle to be reminded every day.

But spending time with Miri alone was difficult as well, for Miri. She wanted to spend all her time with her boyfriend – or soul mate as they referred it as – Austin. He’d imprinted on her a week after his transformation; the day he returned to school and sat down at their lunch table whom now Miri also sat at.

Elenia had no hard feelings towards any of them; she was happy they were together. But seeing them together just made it more visible how much easier they had it as well as what Elenia didn’t have.

Miri linked her arm with Elenia as they walked home. The May weather was warmer than the year before; it seemed like the sun worked extra hard to warm Elenia’s frozen heart.
“Are you exited for the prom, Leni?” Miri asked Elenia with a bright smile.
Elenia stopped dead in her tracks and stared at her cousin with wide eyes.

“You forgot,” Miri said and squeezed her hand lightly. “That’s okay, but you’re going. And we have to go to Port Angeles tomorrow and buy dresses.”
Elenia frowned. “I don’t really feel like going,” She said.

Elenia had been dreading the end of the school year with her whole being. She would have way to much free time on her hand without having school or homework to do.

“Well, then I’m not giving you a choice. I’m sure Austin doesn’t mind being both our dates. Harry is being a volunteer patroller, so he’ll be there to hold you company as well,” Miri said cheerily.
“Fine, but I won’t enjoy the time.”

“Leni, you have to keep on living. Austin told me Seth misses you. He’ll probably return in the summer.”
“Please don’t,” She whispered in a weak voice. “I can’t handle false hope.”
Miri sighed and they started walking again.

~~~

Seth sat with his back against the three, listening to the birds and animals around and at the same time trying to ignore his own thoughts. He was somewhere near Denali, Alaska, but he wasn’t sure on his exact position. He was sort of staying with the Cullens; he ate their food and sometimes slept in a bed in the house. But he mostly sat in the woods.

He phased rarely; his feet always took him in the direction he didn’t want to go in. Jacob gave him the pack updates. But Seth was empty. He’d become something similar to a vampire. He barley talked to anyone.

Edward could sympathize with him; he knew what it was like to leave a loved one. And he couldn’t stand to be near Bella, she didn’t say anything to make him feel guilty, but Seth knew very well how she had been when Edward left her, and then he’d been the link between her and Jacob when he left.

Nessie was easy to talk to; she was carefree and knew very well not to try and talk him into returning home like the others did.

He recognized them by their smell, Nessie and Jacob, as they sat down on each his sides. His eyes were open, he could have seen them but his sight was filled pictures of the girl he missed the most.

“She doesn’t even want to attend her Senior Prom,” Jacob said casually. “She told Miri and Miri told Austin.”
“Stop talking about her, Jake,” Seth said to his alpha in a pleading voice.
“Elenia misses you terribly, Seth, no matter how hard you try to ignore I,” he continues, pretending he didn’t hear his plea. “It’s strange how such a beautiful and lovable girl can be half-of Paul,” a laugh escaped his lips.

“Jacob!” he said and covered his face with his hands to hide the tears that ran down his cheeks.
“I wish I could meet her,” Nessie pondered. “She seems like a nice girl, someone I would like to hang out with.”
Seth sighed. “She’d probably like you too, Ness, but she’d be freaked out about the whole half human vampire thing.”
“Huh, she seems to be fairly fond of you, and you’re a dog!” she laughed.

They all fell silent.
“Don’t you think it’s time for you to go home now, brother?” Jacob asked him lowly. “It’s been five months.”
Seth snorted. “I can’t even remember why I left. I guess I was being selfish. But I just can’t find the strength or reason to go back now. It’s too late.”

“Isn’t Elenia reason enough?” he asked him.
“Come on Seth,” Nessie said cheerily. “Run to La Push and crash her prom.”
A weak smile crept onto his lips, but faded just as quickly as it had appeared. “She probably hates me.”

“Oh for god’s sake Seth!” Jacob exclaimed and threw his hands in the air. “Stop being such a cry baby, grow a pair off balls and take a risk. You can always come back if she glare at you and says she hated you. But I really doubt that.”

Seth rose to his feet and stretched his long body. Nessie and Jacob stood up as well.
He pulled Nessie into a tight hug. “Tell your parents good bye and that I’m sorry I didn’t say it to them personally.”
“I’m sure dad’s already eavesdropping,” she grinned at him.

Jacob hugged his brother before patting his shoulder. “Go sweep her off her feet, repair her heart and love her forever.”
“I never thought you were so poetic, Jake,” Seth said with a smile.
Jacob laughed. “Ness is teaching me.”

Seth waved at his friends before he walked away from them and into the dry forest. He removed the pair of cut off jeans he was wearing and tied them around his leg before he phased and took off running.

Running towards home, towards her.