Keep Me Together

[Mild sexual content]

Seth stared at her with confused eyes. “What?”
Elenia sighed and brushed her fingers over his warm cheek. “I said; marry me.”
“I heard what you said,” he told her slowly; acting like she’d lost her mind. “But I don’t understand.”

“What’s there to understand?” she asked and straightened up with a look of determination in her brown eyes. “You are never leaving me again, not that I would let you leave for all the reasons in the world; so why not?”
“Elenia,” he said softly and cupped her cheek – but Elenia recognized the rejection in his eyes and pulled away. “A marriage is a lot of… commitment. Are you sure? You’re still young.”

Elenia worked hard not to yell at him. “For god’s sake, Seth,” she said lowly and glowered at him. “I love you. I don’t want anyone else, not now, in two years or twenty years. I’ll always want you, even when you’re old, gray and not so hot.”

He chuckled a little and was about to speak when Elenia started again.
“So stop this bullshit about me being young and about the commitment. I want the commitment. I need you to know that I’m serious about us,” she trailed off at the end and stared at him with big tear filled eyes.

Seth stared back at her for a moment before he softened and pulled her against his chest. “I love you too, Leni.”
“Then marry me,” she repeated stubbornly. “I’m not saying that we’ll run to the church right away; I’m not even saying that we’ll have to get married in five or ten years; just say that you’ll marry me sometime.”

Seth cupped her face again; this time she didn’t pull away. “Let’s go to college first; get jobs then I’ll marry you and we’ll have a bunch of kids.”
Elenia smiled and leaned in for a kiss. “It’s a deal.”

She looked down at him. “Why do you keep putting your shirt on?” Her voice was slightly frustrated as she pulled at the hem of it.
Seth laughed loudly and yanked her into his lap. “Because I like it when you take it off me.”
Elenia blushed furiously and buried her face in his neck.
“And I love your blush,” he lifted her head and memorized the beautiful color.

She pressed her lips against his and their lips molded together perfectly. Elenia lifted the t-shirt over his head before Seth pushed her hands down again. She was about to pull away, thinking he wanted to stop, but Seth kissed down her neck, making her moan his name when he nibbled on the soft flesh.

Elenia’s lust was reflected in his eyes as he lifted his head to kiss her lips again.
“Are you sure?” he asked her hoarsely against her mouth.
Elenia pulled away to get a good look on his face before she merely nodded; she didn’t trust her own voice to formulate real, understandable words.

Elenia wrapped her arms around his neck as he rose from the couch. Seth hitched her legs around his waist as he walked them to the bedroom. Elenia fell against the bed when he let her go and she landed with a soft thud. He climbed over her, attacking her neck once again, leaving a trail off kisses over her collarbone.

She whimpered in pleasure as his hand made its way under the t-shirt she was wearing. Seth’s touches made her moan his name and grab onto his hair to hold him close. She could feel him harden thorough the fabric of their pants. Elenia moaned again as his hand found her bare chest.

He pressed his head against her shoulder and groaned. He found it hard to control the monster inside off him. Elenia brushed her fingers through his hair and made him look at her. Her eyes were filled with love and Seth leaned up to kiss her before he moved his hands to pull the shirt over her head.

Elenia arched her back when he kissed over her breast, but as Seth made his way down to the lining of the sweatpants, memories and pictures of horror made its way into her head; making her forget who she was with. She forgot all about the tingles made by Seth’s touches.

Tears streamed from her eyes and she trashed with her hands. “No,” she cried. “Please don’t,” she begged and screamed. “Please stop.”
Her whole body was shaking from the sobs escaping her mouth. Her eyes was clamped shut and tears kept running down her cheek.
“Please don’t hurt me,” she cried and tried to crawl away and at the same time keeping her legs shut.

Seth stopped at once when she started screaming, being shocked. He soon realized what was happening and took a hold of her trashing hands, holding them still, and he pulled her shaking body into his arms.
“Sh… It’s okay Leni,” he said softly, but his words made it worse; Elenia’s eyes rolled to the back of her head as she let out a tormented scream.

“Shhh… It’s okay Lenny,” she heard him say. “Do not fucking move.”
The painful memory drowned her.
“It’s okay Lenny,” he whispered too her in a soothing voice. “Everything will be okay, Lenny. Fucking shit you’re hot.”

Seth held her face between his hands and stared at her pained face, not knowing what to do.
“Elenia,” he said in a clear voice. “You are safe, you are with me. Elenia you’re safe.”
Elenia still had her eyes closed.

“Elenia,” Seth’s voice pleaded. “Please open your eyes. You are safe with me.”
Ever so slowly her screams were silenced and she opened her eyes and stared up in Seth’s worried eyes.
Her lips were quivering as she spoke. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened,” it was no louder than a whisper.

Seth laid her down on the bed and lay beside her and pulled the covers over them. He wrapped his arms securely around her.
“You can’t control what you are thinking off,” he said lowly.
Elenia’s eyes widened as she saw the look in his eyes; she knew what he was thinking. “It is not about you,” she said sternly but at the same time weakly.

Seth closed his eyes as he spoke. “I know that, but I can’t help but wonder why it happened now, and not when…” he trailed off.
“Why it didn’t happen when I had sex with Austin?” she questioned.
“Yes,” he said and opened his eyes to see how she reacted. “When he first phased – before he imprinted on Miri – and before he got around reading my mind he thought about it. How easy it had been; he thought he’d cured you.”

Elenia thought about it for a while. Seth didn’t interrupt and let her think.
“I think,” she started and put a hand on his cheek. “I was desperate to know what it was like to have sex when Austin and I did it, but I was numbed; I can’t remember one clear thing from that time, I was so locked in myself, just an empty shell. But now; I feel little thing,” she picked up his hand and lay it under her breasts. “Your every touch sends me into a frenzy, it’s like you’re setting me on fire and it makes me pick up on every movement and it makes me think.”

Seth made circles on her stomach with his index finger as she spoke.
Elenia closed her eyes and let the pleasure steal her concentration. “I love you Seth, and I want to make love with you.”
Seth noticed the way she called what she’d done with Austin sex and with him making love. It made him grin ever so lightly.
“But I don’t know if I can’t before I get professional help,” she told him and put her hand over his.

“Then we’ll wait,” he said softly and kissed her forehead. “I love you Leni.”
She smiled and snuggled closer to him. “Please let me stay the night.”
“Do you want me to let your parents know?” he asked her.
She shook her head. “No, Harry or Miri have probably told them you’re back; they’ll know where to find me.”
“Okay – it’s not like I would have let you leave anyway.”
Elenia giggled with her eyes closed. “I’m sleepy.”

“Then sleep, my love,” he whispered and held her tighter as he drifted off to sleep himself.