Keep Me Together

Seth ignored the strange look Elia sent him when he appeared in the kitchen early next morning; he had let himself in as usual without knocking. He knew Paul was already at work and Elia was making breakfast for Robbie; who was always up early even though it was summer.

“Hey Seth!” Robbie said with eager eyes. He thought Seth was some kind of superhero or role model.
“Morning Rob,” he tried to put on a smile to the young boy but failed miserably. He couldn’t be happy again before he had talked things out with Elenia.

Robbie didn’t notice the sad tone in Seth’s voice but Elia did and she was at his side with a hand on his arm and a worried look on her face.
“What is bothering you?” she asked in a hushed voice; Robbie liked to listen into others people’s conversations.
Seth ran a hand through his hair. He was exhausted after running as a wolf the whole night. He had tried to sleep after Elenia left but the picture of her angered face – just a cover up for the real pain she felt – had haunted his every thought. “I just have to talk to Leni.”

“She’s still asleep.” Elia told him.
He nodded but walked up the stairs and hesitated outside her bedroom door before he opened it without a sound. Elenia was sprawled across her bed, with her head under her pillow – she always moved around a lot in her sleep. Seth took a seat on the end of the bed and the movement made her stir and sit up slowly.

“Seth?” she asked groggily as she wiped the sleep out of her eyes.
Seth smiled at her and reached over to brush her hair behind her ear.
But then she remembered and moved away from his hand. “What are you doing here?” she asked in a serious tone and shot him a glare. It was difficult for her to use such an angry tone towards him.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, “I shouldn’t have said anything about Kenny last night.”
Elenia closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. Why did he mention him again? “I don’t want to talk about it,” the embarrassment was to heavy for her to carry.
“Leni… Please-“
“No, Seth. I’m mad at you,” she crossed her arms over her chest.
“But-“ he started but got cut off by the pleading look in her eyes.
“Please, I beg you, just leave me alone.”

How could he deny his imprint’s wish – even though it was not what she truly wished for?
“I’ll come back later,” he said and rose from the bed. “Don’t do anything stupid today,” he said even though he suspected she would just stay inside her bedroom the whole day.
“Please don’t come back,” she whispered just as the door closed behind him.

Frustration took complete supremacy over her feelings and she grabbed the hardcover book from her nightstand and threw it at full force at the door; it left a small dent and tears threatened to run down her cheeks. Elenia wiped them away; she didn’t want to cry over Seth as well. It is for the best, this way, she thought.

~~~

Harry appeared at their doorstep around noon with Eve. He asked Elenia to come with him and little Eve on a stroll but she said she was sick. Harry didn’t believe him though; he knew everything after being on patrol with Seth the night before.

“Come on Leni, I’m sure you have tons of question about me being an awesome werewolf,” he grinned at her and she couldn’t help but smile back.
“Fine, just let me get dressed,” she was still wearing her pajamas.

She changed quickly and took Eve’s little hand when she got back down; Elenia didn’t know where they was going but she trusted Harry not to chose the paths who led to the beach.

They ended up in the park and Elenia and Harry sat on a bench close to the sandbox to watch Eve.
“So, what are you planning to tell me, Hairy Harry?” Elenia asked and fiddled with a hole in her jean.
Harry laughed. “Hairy… Hilarious Leni,” he shook his head with a smile. “What do you want to know?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“Because a shape-shifter can only tell others if they imprint on someone; so it wasn’t really up to me to tell you.”
“Seth’s a coward…” she mumbled.
“He’s really sorry for what happened last night,” Harry told her carefully.
“He told you?” Elenia wined and felt her cheeks grow red with embarrassment.

Harry cleared his throat. “Not exactly; we can hear each other’s thoughts when we’re wolves.”
“What?” she exclaimed in shock and stared at him wide eyed. “No, just forget it,” she said and shook her head before he could answer.
Harry smiled. “Seth really care for you, he only want what’s right for you.”
“Exactly, he only cares for me.”
“No, he loves you, probably more than you can comprehend. You’re his everything, Leni, his other half. You are the center of his universe,” the words were hard to understand in Harry’s rush to get them out.

Elenia snorted. “If that was true, he would know he’s right for me.”
“He want you to chose because he think you just feel obligated to be with him now when you know about everything,” he explained.
“That’s just stupid.”
Harry shrugged; it wasn’t really his job to tell her this because she was Seth’s imprint. “When did everything get so fucked up?”

Elenia fell silent; she knew exactly when everything got fucked up.
Harry opened his mouth to apologize – it wasn’t like him to speak without thinking first – but he closed it when Elenia started talking.
“I hate him so much I can’t describe it,” She whispered and Harry grabbed her hand, “I hate him with such a burning passion it frightens me. And I hate Derek for not believing and Miri for stealing him. But what the two of them have done is nothing compared to what he did. I- it was-” Elenia didn’t know how to word it. “I don’t know what to do,” she whispered and buried her face in her hands.

They sat in silence for a few minutes; Elenia with her face in her hands and Harry stroking her back and at the same time balancing Eve on his knee.
“Seth is the only one keeping me sane, keeping me from doing something stupid, but then I go and screw everything up.”
“You should tell him this,” he said to her.
“I know.”
“You can’t stay mad at him.”
“I know.”

“He loves you.”
“I know,” Elenia sighed. “And I love him as well.”
“Now let’s go buy ice-creams,” it was the solution to almost every problem.

~~~

Elenia spent most of the day with Harry and the night with her mother and father. It was calming to sit next to her father on the couch with his arm around her and her head on his chest as they listened to her mother play softly on the piano. It made her remember all the late night she and Livvy had stayed up after bedtime to drink hot-cocoa and listen to piano music as they played simple card games with their father.

Elenia waited until after her parents were fast asleep before she went to bed herself. She didn’t feel tired at all so she was still awake when she heard the muted tapping among the sound of the rain droplets on her bedroom window. She knew it was Seth even before she walked over to open it; she had been expecting him to come even though she told him not to.

She stepped away from the window to give him space to climb in and then they stared at each other for a second before Seth pulled her into his bare and wet chest in a tight hug.
“You’re right, I’m not ready for a relationship,” she admitted in a whisper.
Seth kissed her hair. “I know, Leni.”
“But I need you to stay with me,” she said and looked up at his face with sincere eyes.
“I’ll stay right here,” he reassured her.
“Because I love you.”
“You know I love you always,” Seth said with a smile.

Elenia stood on her tip-toes to place a kiss on his cheek. “Can you stay with me tonight?”
“Of course,” he said and led her over to the bed. “I’ll leave before your father wake though, so don’t freak if I’m not here when you wake.”
She smiled. “I won’t. I just need you to hold me till I fall asleep.”

“Just close your eyes and think of happy things,” Seth said softly as they cuddled close under the duvet.
Elenia closed her eyes and thought of her only happy thing, her Seth.