Behind Pious Eyes
Untitled
While walking through the empty, cherry-wood pews, Abigail bowed her head. Discreetly, she sat in an empty corner, where the lighting dimmed most. Dwarfed by the antique, stained glass windows, she looked almost insignificant in the grandeur of the room. So it began; the wait for her turn in the confession box.
Like clockwork, Abigail nervously rapped her fingers against the wood of the pew. She had “the thoughts” again. As the bishop’s daughter, she knew how unacceptable “the thoughts” were. Father Dane will help me, she told herself. He always helped her. Together, they could rid her of “the thoughts” forever, she had faith. With a final sigh, Abigail walked to the confession box.
Upon entering the confining walls of the box, Abigail dropped to her knees, and breathed in deeply, preparing herself. She never enjoyed confessing about “the thoughts.”
Sternly, Father Dane spoke, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son , and of the Holy Ghost.”
As she delicately made the sign of the cross, Abigail pleaded “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week, one week exactly, since I last confessed. It was a picture this time, Father, just a picture.” As the words slipped out of her mouth, she bowed her head in shame. She could feel Father Dane’s eyes piercing straight through the woven metal of the confessional screen.
“Abigail?”
“Yes, father, Abigail.”
“How many times, Abigail, must I teach you this lesson?” Father Dane demanded.
“I’m sorry, Father, I truly tried this time. I look at the sidewalk as I go down the street; I stay out of the dressing rooms in the fancy clothes shops up town. I feel as though I do everything, Father, but ‘the thoughts’ always find me. I need your help, please Father. I need God’s love. You must help me reach Salvation.” The tears began to fill the corners of Abigails soft, brown eyes as she continued.
“I was at the library Father, just the library. I read the scripture, as you told me to, when someone dropped a magazine on my table, Vouge I believe it was. Almost as if Satan himself wanted to tempt me, I believe. The woman on the cover, she was so pretty Father. I tried to look away, tried to stop ‘the thoughts’, but something about the way her hips curved made it impossible. Her breasts, they were so full and smooth, I imagine they felt like the silk dress Mama got me to wear last Easter Sunday…”
“Enough, Abigail, enough,” Father shouted.
“What would your dear parents make of this, Abigail? Your father would be mortified. A bishop’s daughter with ‘the thoughts,’ such an embarrassment to the clergy. Abigail, the time has come for you to make a wife of yourself. You cannot act like a sinful child any longer. There is no other option; we must rid you of ‘the thoughts’, Abigail.”
The creek of the Father Dane’s metal chair told Abigail what to expect next. Behind her, she heard the door to the confessional box open, as Father Dane walked in. Abigail began to rise from her knees, and turn towards Father Dane, pleading with him.
Impatiently, Father Dane scolded, “Abigail, stay down. You know what must be done. You leave me no other choices, Abigail.” His voice began to thunder, as he lectured “Your immortal soul is at stake, do you not want Salvation? Do you want the love of our heavenly Father?”
Under the pressure, Abigail cracked. Her sobs shook her entire body, as she once again fell to her hands and knees, just like the weeks before. Under her breath, she began to recite the Act of Contrition.
“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you and I detest all my sins,...”
Abigail could feel Father Dane caressing her thighs, moving his hand along the curve of her bottom. She loved Father Dane dearly for his devotion to ridding her of “the thoughts,” but she hated his touch.
“because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell…”
Father Dane’s breathing became heavier, and Abigail felt him pull her skirt over her hips, exposing her, making her vulnerable. She detested the feeling. After pulling her satin panties to the side, Father Dane stroked Abigail’s long, blonde hair. “I do this for you, Abigail,” he whispered.
“But most of all because I have offended you, my God,”
Abigail felt pain surge through her body as Father Dane pushed himself inside her. She told herself this pain drove “the thoughts” of her mind. With Father Dane’s unrelenting support, she would learn to love, even desire, the touch a man. “The thoughts” no longer would trouble her. Yearning for God’s love, Abigail resisted the desire to flinch as Father Dane massaged her breasts.
“who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of your grace…”
Father Dane’s breathing soon quickened, growing heavier by the second. Every thrust contained more force as he propelled himself inside her. Abigail felt his sweat splash against the back of her neck and arms. His breathing turned into animalistic fury, a sound Abigail dreaded hearing. Just as Abigail felt she could not take the teaching any longer, he pulled himself out, dripping blood and the sticky liquid Abigail hated so much down her thigh.
“to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life…”
Rejoicing, Abigail began to cry. With Father Dane’s help, God forgave her once again! After such repentance, Abigail knew within her heart that Salvation belonged to her! While Father Dane exited the confession box, Abigail cradled the beloved thoughts of heaven and baby Jesus within her mind, and imagined herself someday sitting among angels between the clouds.
“Amen.”
Like clockwork, Abigail nervously rapped her fingers against the wood of the pew. She had “the thoughts” again. As the bishop’s daughter, she knew how unacceptable “the thoughts” were. Father Dane will help me, she told herself. He always helped her. Together, they could rid her of “the thoughts” forever, she had faith. With a final sigh, Abigail walked to the confession box.
Upon entering the confining walls of the box, Abigail dropped to her knees, and breathed in deeply, preparing herself. She never enjoyed confessing about “the thoughts.”
Sternly, Father Dane spoke, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son , and of the Holy Ghost.”
As she delicately made the sign of the cross, Abigail pleaded “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week, one week exactly, since I last confessed. It was a picture this time, Father, just a picture.” As the words slipped out of her mouth, she bowed her head in shame. She could feel Father Dane’s eyes piercing straight through the woven metal of the confessional screen.
“Abigail?”
“Yes, father, Abigail.”
“How many times, Abigail, must I teach you this lesson?” Father Dane demanded.
“I’m sorry, Father, I truly tried this time. I look at the sidewalk as I go down the street; I stay out of the dressing rooms in the fancy clothes shops up town. I feel as though I do everything, Father, but ‘the thoughts’ always find me. I need your help, please Father. I need God’s love. You must help me reach Salvation.” The tears began to fill the corners of Abigails soft, brown eyes as she continued.
“I was at the library Father, just the library. I read the scripture, as you told me to, when someone dropped a magazine on my table, Vouge I believe it was. Almost as if Satan himself wanted to tempt me, I believe. The woman on the cover, she was so pretty Father. I tried to look away, tried to stop ‘the thoughts’, but something about the way her hips curved made it impossible. Her breasts, they were so full and smooth, I imagine they felt like the silk dress Mama got me to wear last Easter Sunday…”
“Enough, Abigail, enough,” Father shouted.
“What would your dear parents make of this, Abigail? Your father would be mortified. A bishop’s daughter with ‘the thoughts,’ such an embarrassment to the clergy. Abigail, the time has come for you to make a wife of yourself. You cannot act like a sinful child any longer. There is no other option; we must rid you of ‘the thoughts’, Abigail.”
The creek of the Father Dane’s metal chair told Abigail what to expect next. Behind her, she heard the door to the confessional box open, as Father Dane walked in. Abigail began to rise from her knees, and turn towards Father Dane, pleading with him.
Impatiently, Father Dane scolded, “Abigail, stay down. You know what must be done. You leave me no other choices, Abigail.” His voice began to thunder, as he lectured “Your immortal soul is at stake, do you not want Salvation? Do you want the love of our heavenly Father?”
Under the pressure, Abigail cracked. Her sobs shook her entire body, as she once again fell to her hands and knees, just like the weeks before. Under her breath, she began to recite the Act of Contrition.
“O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you and I detest all my sins,...”
Abigail could feel Father Dane caressing her thighs, moving his hand along the curve of her bottom. She loved Father Dane dearly for his devotion to ridding her of “the thoughts,” but she hated his touch.
“because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell…”
Father Dane’s breathing became heavier, and Abigail felt him pull her skirt over her hips, exposing her, making her vulnerable. She detested the feeling. After pulling her satin panties to the side, Father Dane stroked Abigail’s long, blonde hair. “I do this for you, Abigail,” he whispered.
“But most of all because I have offended you, my God,”
Abigail felt pain surge through her body as Father Dane pushed himself inside her. She told herself this pain drove “the thoughts” of her mind. With Father Dane’s unrelenting support, she would learn to love, even desire, the touch a man. “The thoughts” no longer would trouble her. Yearning for God’s love, Abigail resisted the desire to flinch as Father Dane massaged her breasts.
“who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of your grace…”
Father Dane’s breathing soon quickened, growing heavier by the second. Every thrust contained more force as he propelled himself inside her. Abigail felt his sweat splash against the back of her neck and arms. His breathing turned into animalistic fury, a sound Abigail dreaded hearing. Just as Abigail felt she could not take the teaching any longer, he pulled himself out, dripping blood and the sticky liquid Abigail hated so much down her thigh.
“to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life…”
Rejoicing, Abigail began to cry. With Father Dane’s help, God forgave her once again! After such repentance, Abigail knew within her heart that Salvation belonged to her! While Father Dane exited the confession box, Abigail cradled the beloved thoughts of heaven and baby Jesus within her mind, and imagined herself someday sitting among angels between the clouds.
“Amen.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Word Count: 969