A Tear In Her Dress, John O'Callaghan.

“Elsie…we need to talk.”

I looked up at Shane, his face was serious. “Alright? What's wrong.” I got up and followed him to computer room.

He closed the door and leaned on it, “What's up with you and John?” His face was completely serious.

I raised an eyebrow, “What are you talking about, Shane.” Why would he be asking me, about John. The only reasons, I had been with him. Was for Sophia’s sake, and to talk about her birthday.

Shane sighed in frustration. “Okay, look. I understand John is Sophia’s father, but is it really necessary to be with him, all the time?”

I crossed my arms, “It kind of is, Shane. It kind of is. Sophia still needs me to be there with her, or maybe she likes the fact of seeing her mother and her father together. I understand she’s four almost five and doesn’t understand why we aren't together. But it makes her feel like she has a perfect family.”

Shane looked at the ceiling then back at me. We were getting into a fight…perfect. “Well, I’m sorry Els, that you had a kid with someone else. I’m sorry I cant help make the perfect family, Elsie.”

I stood up and sighed angrily, “Shane. Don’t apologize, you weren’t being stupid and careless. I was the one, and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. There are days when I wish I didn’t have her, because my life would still be dedicated to college and life. But, now. I’m dedicated to Sophia. If she wants me to along with her to be with John, I’m going to be there. If she needs me for anything, I’m going to be there.” I pushed him aside, “Your going to have to deal with it.”

---

I had left Shane and Sophia at the house. I needed to think and be alone. If Shane fucking Collins thought I was going to unfaithful, for one fucking minute; I swear. I swirled the cup of coffee in my hand, watching the light brown turn bubbly white.

“Miss? Do you need anything else?”

I looked up to find a girl who looked about seventeen. Underneath her apron, I noticed a baby bump. I sighed, “No, I’m fine.”

She noticed my stare and stammered, “I’m not a slut…I promise.”

I nodded off, “I know, I was in your position once.”

She cocked her head, “Really? But you don’t strike me as a mom.”

I shrugged, “I don’t find myself as a mom, either. But you learn.”

She looked down and bit her lip, she looked helpless, “Does it get better?”

I sighed again, “I want to tell you, yes. But, I’m afraid it doesn’t. Especially if he leaves you.”

She had tears in her eyes, “I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been so alone, I used to be head cheerleader. And now I’m forced to be alone in my own world. Nobody will even talk to me, they think I’m a slut.” She whimpered, “I’m not, I’m really not. He promised he loved me and he just left after it happened.”

I nodded, i paid and got up, “Honey, you just have to be strong for both you and your baby. Somebody will come along and realize; you need to be loved and that person will be right there.” I nodded again in her direction and headed off, with coffee in my hand.

-

I walked back into the house and didn’t even say a word to Shane. I was still pissed and I knew I was overreacting. But, still. I was engaged to him, he honestly thinks I’d go behind his back and ruin it?

But then the thought occurred to me. What if Sophia doesn’t want me marrying Shane, I couldn’t just not marry him, could i? Of course I could, Sophia came first. I rubbed my temples and just sat in the living room.

I was not going to waste those four perfect years. I fell back against the couch and silently groaned. I couldn’t believe, I was even thinking about being unfaithful. But, I had already settled what I was going to do. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started texting away.

john, can you meet me @ the park?

I waited for a reply and when I got it, I knew there was no going back. I walked into the bedroom, “I’m going over Shellie’s for a bit.” I walked back out and walked into Soph’s room. “Hey, baby. How are you doing?”

Sophia was cuddling Mr. Snuggles and watching Looney Tunes, “I’m okay, are you okay?”

I nodded and kissed her head, “Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’ll see you in the morning, okay? Shane’s going to watch out for you until I get home.”

“Okay.”