Confused

I sat back up after he ‘thought’ that. Two dreams in one night? Weird. I could ‘hear’ his thoughts when I dreamt about what happened. So did he really think that? I don’t think so. It was probably just a fantasy mixed with reality. I really did call him Gee for the first time there because of the coffee. Even the Skittles came in exact order as I ate them that time.

I looked at the clock and it read 1:32 am. It was only then I realized that I’ve been sleeping early the past few days. Early to bed, early to rise? Screw it. However, I didn’t want to dream about him again so I went downstairs to get myself some coffee.

He’s happily married Frank. No point in hoping. Why don’t you just get a girlfriend and move on with your life. You wouldn’t want to get beaten up by your dad for being gay now right? It just might kill you. Don’t let him kill you.

No matter what happens, you will do your best to fall out of love with Gerard. Find a girl, or maybe another guy. It doesn’t matter. Find someone that will love you back…and isn’t committed.

I always loved you Frank and I made a mistake marrying Eliza so if I did hurt you, I’m sorry. I hope you can find someone that deserves you more.

His voice echoed in my head.

“I have to stop all this! I don’t want to hear your fake words in my head Gerard!” I screamed and tugging at my hair.

Suddenly, there was a knock on my door and a worried voice calling out, “Frankie? You okay?”

Shit. He’s at my front door and he heard me scream out! I ran to the door and placed my biggest but fakest smile.

“Hey Gerard. Aren’t you here quite early…it’s…oh…it’s already 8. Coffee?”

He took off his shoes and held me by the shoulders.

“Frank? Are you sick or something?”

I replied, “Of course not Gerard. I just lost track of time. I’ve been up since one so uh…coffee?”

He stared at me like I was crazy but shrugged it off. “No thanks. I just came over because you didn’t answer any of my calls. Liz said you could come along to lunch with us. The guys are coming along too so I thought you would uhm…wanna join…”

I looked down at the carpeted floor.

You can either go be with Gerard but deal with Eliza’s close contact with him or stay here with nothing to do. If you go, the guys can probably keep your mind off Gerard but if you stay, you can find someone while they’re all away. So option 1 or option 2 Frank.

“Hello? Earth to Frank? So what’s it gonna be?” Gerard said, waving a hand in front of me.

“Oh…yeah…I’ll just uh…”