Confused

“uh…no thanks…I’ll pass on that. I’m gonna go grocery shopping. Maybe even spend time with my mom.” I lied. I hate lying to him but it’s for the best.

I think I can see right through you Frank. I just wish I’m wrong. I wish you could just tell me why you have to lie about a lot of things.

“I’m not lying!” I blurted out.

Gerard stared at me like I just read his mind which I might’ve done actually. It only happens when he’s near me.

“I know you’re not lying Frank but if you are, can you at least tell me the real reason why?”

“I just said it right? I’m not lying! There’s no point in trying Gerard! Don’t think you can coax the ‘truth’ out of me!” I stormed back to my room and locked the door.

Shit. Did he just read my mind? What’s wrong with him? Did I say something wrong?

He’s coming closer. His thoughts are becoming clearer in my head, the nearer he is.

“Gerard! Don’t even think you can make everything better by coming in here!”

How did he know I was going up to his room?

“I don’t know either Gerard!”

I unlocked the door and went back to the stairs to see him sitting on the top step. I sat next to him and took his hand. “Gerard, I’m sorry okay? I just…urgh! It’s too complicated!”

Without looking at me, he replied, “Frank, I’ve dealt with a lot of complicated things and I still am but when I’m with you, everything becomes clearer…until today. You answer to the questions in my head but you can’t even answer my questions. Just answer this question and I’ll leave you alone. What’s been bothering you that makes you have to lie to me? TO ME Frank.”

I sighed and thought for a minute and when it all became clear to me, I answered.

“Gerard, this is gonna be a big thing for you and I would understand if you would totally hate me but I…I always…I always loved you. There. I said it. I love you Gerard but you’re married to Eliza and before her, you had Bert and before him you had Katmandu. I loved you since I can’t remember but you always had somebody else. I don’t have to lie to the guys because they’re not a part of my…secret. I…I still love you Gerard.”

He loves me? Frank loves me?

He just looked at me then wiped the tears from my eyes that I didn’t even know existed. Why is he still here? Didn’t I just tell a married man that I loved him? Why isn’t he running away yet?

“Gerard, you can go now. I would totally understand if you don’t come back afterwards. At least I’ve got nothing left to hide from you. You can---“.

My speech was cut off with his lips on mine. I kissed back and closed my eyes as he cupped my face and pulled me even closer. After that long make-out session, he whispered something to me.

I love you Frank. For as long as I can remember, you were always my someone special. Not Bert or Kat or even Eliza.

I just smiled in the kiss because I knew he meant it. I never read his thoughts. I only read his heart. He’s here with me right now and feeling the same way. Gerard Way loves me the same way I do him.

Frank, I’m so sorry.

These were his last thoughts before actually speaking again. “So you still wanna go to lunch with me?”