‹ Prequel: It's Almost Easy
Such a Surreal Place
Motherly Love
“She’s Anna Marie, a family friend. Don’t worry, nothing happened between her and I,” my fiancé explained and I nodded.
“There’s another picture of him with another girl,” my mother suddenly said, as if she had ESP.
“It’s a friend of his,” I explained. My mother fell silent for a few seconds. She must’ve been browsing through the pictures, as we could hear her clicking.
“There’s a different girl too!” Mom exclaimed and Brian hastily scrolled down, trying to find it. His face fell so dramatically when he saw a picture of him and Michelle. My mother noticed my hesitation. “Ah, so there was someone else?”
“Of course there was, Mom. He hasn’t been single for all of his life!” I retorted. I was thinking back to my encounters with Michelle – they were NOT pretty at all. “Look, are you coming to our wedding or not?”
“I can’t believe you’re getting married to this guy! I liked Ronnie better!” she said and my mouth fell.
“Don’t you EVER compare Brian to Ronnie!” I hissed slowly at my phone. How dare she! They were completely different! “You haven’t met Brian, so how can you judge him? He’s one of the sweetest people I know! And I’m in love with him! If you don’t like that, well, you can just get over it! I’m not changing my mind based on your opinion which isn’t even a good one because you haven’t even met him!”
“Ashleigh, I can’t lose you too,” Mom said and my anger turned into confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve lost my husband... and Scott...” she explained and I looked down, remembering them. Brian put his arms around me and hugged me tightly, understanding. “I can’t lose you too.”
“You’re not losing me. I’m still gonna be here,” I said soothingly, getting slightly teary eyed.
“You’re going off with a man, to live together... To a mother, that’s losing you completely!” she explained and I sighed.
“And I’m going to be happy! That should be enough for you to let me go!” I retorted and I heard her sigh.
“You do have a point, dear,” she said, calming down a bit. “I haven’t been able to get in touch with you because you’ve been away from your home, but have you had a cancer test yet?” I gulped. Syn looked at me, suddenly remembering the test I was meant to have had done ages ago. Key word: meant...
“No, Mom, I haven’t,” I answered quietly, avoiding my fiancé’s eyes.
“I really hope you get one soon,” she said. “Oh, no, I’m meant to be meeting Jane! Ashleigh, honey, I really have to go now. I’ll come to your wedding, as long as I can meet this Brian beforehand. I want you to be happy. I really do.” Wow, that was a sudden change of attitude... I guess being old really changes people sometimes.
“That really means a lot to me Mom,” I said and then we said our goodbyes. I hung up and I felt Brian’s eyes on me. I couldn’t avoid him for any longer, so I looked up at him.
“What happened to that cancer test?” he asked me after I gazed into his eyes for a few seconds. He sounded super disappointed in me.
“What happened to you remembering about them?” I questioned back and he looked away. He knew I had him there. If he cared so much, why didn’t he remember? It had been left alone for so long now, and suddenly he brings it up. Why so damn long?
“That’s not the main problem, Ash. What happened?” He stared deep into my eyes and I felt my insides melting away. I had to tell him. I couldn’t lie.
“I called for them to be cancelled. You know I don’t wanna know if I have cancer or not!” I explained, getting emotional again.
“Ashleigh... If you have it, they can get rid of it for you. You can live a long happy life. With me,” he said sweetly, taking my hand into his.
“Brian,” I said, squeezing his hand. “They couldn’t save my father, and they couldn’t save my brother. What makes you think they could save me?” That stumped him. I saw he was the one who was getting all teary about this.
“I don’t wanna lose you though. What if you just... like... drop dead? What am I gonna do?” he asked, starting to freak out.
“If I drop dead, then I drop dead,” I said with a smile. “Then my time is up and you will move on.”
“What if I can’t move on?” he questioned seriously. He was gripping my hand really tightly.
“What if I don’t drop dead?” I whispered. I had lost my voice. He was sort of breaking my heart, but it was in a good way. I pulled him into a hug. I could tell that was what he really needed at the moment. He hugged me back super tight and didn’t let go for ages. “I love you.” I tried to cheer him up and he hugged me even more tightly.
“I love you, too.”
“Babe?” I scarcely said. My rib cage was crushing my lungs, making it very hard to breathe.
“Yeah?”
“I can’t breathe...” I reminded him and he let go of me slightly. I took in a big breath of air loudly, being sarcastic. “It’s probably not a good idea to kill me before cancer or something else does...”
“Good point...” he mumbled into my neck as he snuggled his chin into it. I finally knew for certain that he was very scared to lose me. I can’t describe how that made me feel...
“There’s another picture of him with another girl,” my mother suddenly said, as if she had ESP.
“It’s a friend of his,” I explained. My mother fell silent for a few seconds. She must’ve been browsing through the pictures, as we could hear her clicking.
“There’s a different girl too!” Mom exclaimed and Brian hastily scrolled down, trying to find it. His face fell so dramatically when he saw a picture of him and Michelle. My mother noticed my hesitation. “Ah, so there was someone else?”
“Of course there was, Mom. He hasn’t been single for all of his life!” I retorted. I was thinking back to my encounters with Michelle – they were NOT pretty at all. “Look, are you coming to our wedding or not?”
“I can’t believe you’re getting married to this guy! I liked Ronnie better!” she said and my mouth fell.
“Don’t you EVER compare Brian to Ronnie!” I hissed slowly at my phone. How dare she! They were completely different! “You haven’t met Brian, so how can you judge him? He’s one of the sweetest people I know! And I’m in love with him! If you don’t like that, well, you can just get over it! I’m not changing my mind based on your opinion which isn’t even a good one because you haven’t even met him!”
“Ashleigh, I can’t lose you too,” Mom said and my anger turned into confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve lost my husband... and Scott...” she explained and I looked down, remembering them. Brian put his arms around me and hugged me tightly, understanding. “I can’t lose you too.”
“You’re not losing me. I’m still gonna be here,” I said soothingly, getting slightly teary eyed.
“You’re going off with a man, to live together... To a mother, that’s losing you completely!” she explained and I sighed.
“And I’m going to be happy! That should be enough for you to let me go!” I retorted and I heard her sigh.
“You do have a point, dear,” she said, calming down a bit. “I haven’t been able to get in touch with you because you’ve been away from your home, but have you had a cancer test yet?” I gulped. Syn looked at me, suddenly remembering the test I was meant to have had done ages ago. Key word: meant...
“No, Mom, I haven’t,” I answered quietly, avoiding my fiancé’s eyes.
“I really hope you get one soon,” she said. “Oh, no, I’m meant to be meeting Jane! Ashleigh, honey, I really have to go now. I’ll come to your wedding, as long as I can meet this Brian beforehand. I want you to be happy. I really do.” Wow, that was a sudden change of attitude... I guess being old really changes people sometimes.
“That really means a lot to me Mom,” I said and then we said our goodbyes. I hung up and I felt Brian’s eyes on me. I couldn’t avoid him for any longer, so I looked up at him.
“What happened to that cancer test?” he asked me after I gazed into his eyes for a few seconds. He sounded super disappointed in me.
“What happened to you remembering about them?” I questioned back and he looked away. He knew I had him there. If he cared so much, why didn’t he remember? It had been left alone for so long now, and suddenly he brings it up. Why so damn long?
“That’s not the main problem, Ash. What happened?” He stared deep into my eyes and I felt my insides melting away. I had to tell him. I couldn’t lie.
“I called for them to be cancelled. You know I don’t wanna know if I have cancer or not!” I explained, getting emotional again.
“Ashleigh... If you have it, they can get rid of it for you. You can live a long happy life. With me,” he said sweetly, taking my hand into his.
“Brian,” I said, squeezing his hand. “They couldn’t save my father, and they couldn’t save my brother. What makes you think they could save me?” That stumped him. I saw he was the one who was getting all teary about this.
“I don’t wanna lose you though. What if you just... like... drop dead? What am I gonna do?” he asked, starting to freak out.
“If I drop dead, then I drop dead,” I said with a smile. “Then my time is up and you will move on.”
“What if I can’t move on?” he questioned seriously. He was gripping my hand really tightly.
“What if I don’t drop dead?” I whispered. I had lost my voice. He was sort of breaking my heart, but it was in a good way. I pulled him into a hug. I could tell that was what he really needed at the moment. He hugged me back super tight and didn’t let go for ages. “I love you.” I tried to cheer him up and he hugged me even more tightly.
“I love you, too.”
“Babe?” I scarcely said. My rib cage was crushing my lungs, making it very hard to breathe.
“Yeah?”
“I can’t breathe...” I reminded him and he let go of me slightly. I took in a big breath of air loudly, being sarcastic. “It’s probably not a good idea to kill me before cancer or something else does...”
“Good point...” he mumbled into my neck as he snuggled his chin into it. I finally knew for certain that he was very scared to lose me. I can’t describe how that made me feel...