Such a Surreal Place

*17th July – 3 days until the wedding*

We’d arrived in California the day before (to talk to Brian Haner Sr.), and today we were getting our wedding certificate! I was soooo nervous! I was about to see, written in black and white, on paper, the official legal proof of my marriage to Brian! He gripped my hand sooooo tightly as we walked into the building, proving I wasn’t the only one who was freaking out about this. Holy crap. Time flew by, and I walked out of the building Mrs Haner. Hanway to Haner wasn’t much of a change, but I was married! As soon as got out onto the street, I was swept off my feet and got spun around. Brian was kissing me, making yet another picture perfect movie moment.

“I love you so much and I can’t believe this is actually happening!” he exclaimed as he broke away from me and put me back on the ground. He kept one arm linked around my waist and we continued to walk to his car.

“Ditto...” I said, still freaking out majorly.

“You alright?”

“Yeah... I just can’t believe this whole marriage thing...” I answered, glancing down at his other hand which held our certificate.

“Wanna have sex on the beach?” Syn randomly asked and I looked up into his eyes. He wasn’t kidding. We started laughing as we got into his car. “I wasn’t joking, babe. You need a distraction, and that’s the perfect distraction...”

“Fine...” I replied, not really thinking about it. He put the car in gear and drove off in the direction of the beach, but not the public and really popular areas. I couldn’t stop thinking about this whole marriage thing. Had I made the right choice? Was I truly in love? Was I ready to spend the rest of my life with Brian? I love Synyster Gates too, but he wouldn’t be around forever. The rock star would go away one day and I’d be left with just Brian. Was I fine with that? Was I okay with getting married to Brian? I was getting so confused just thinking about it too much. Brian was right – I needed a distraction.

“Your red bikini’s in the boot,” he said as he put the handbrake on. We’d parked under a tree next to a nice part of the beach which was currently abandoned. I realised we’d just travelled for quite a while without talking... This wasn’t usual for us. “Ashleigh... What’s wrong?” He put his hands gently on my shoulders and turned me so I was facing him instead of the window.

“Nothing...” I mumbled, hoping he’d accept that for an answer. It was true though; I was worrying about nothing and ruining my time with my fiancé. “You like me in red, huh?” I was thinking back to that red dress he had bought me, and now this bikini he loved.

“Yeah, but you look great in every colour. Now what the hell is wrong?” he demanded. I put my hand on the door handle, attempting to open it, but he stopped me. “It’s us getting married, isn’t it?” Damn. I wish he would stop seeing right through me at times...

“Not exactly... It’s not the ‘us’ part, it’s just the ‘married’ part... It’s freaking me out now,” I admitted and he looked angrily out the window. “I really don’t know why...”

“How about you go get changed? I need to think...” he said, taking his hands off my shoulders and resting them on the bottom of the steering wheel. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he noticed. “What? I’m a male. I need to think about this whole ‘conversation’ thing...” I smiled weakly and left him alone. At least he was attempting the whole communication thing. Most males didn’t. He had opened the boot from inside the car, so I stood there and quickly got changed. I will admit this bikini did flatter my body very well... I grabbed a towel and then walked over to the driver’s window where my fiancé was still sitting.

“Can I work on my tan first?” I asked, leaning down on his open window. For once he didn’t check me out. He just shrugged while still staring ahead.

“Whatever...” he whispered, still lost in thought. I looked down at the ground, disappointed of the lack of response, then pushed myself off his car. I walked down to the beach and spread the towel out on the soft sand. Then I laid down, getting comfortable in the hot sun. I hadn’t bothered with suntan lotion or anything, but that was always Syn’s job... After about 5 minutes, I heard the car door shut. Another minute later, Syn joined me wearing just his swim shorts and aviators. He sat down in the sand next to me and I opened an eye, squinting in the intense sun. I noticed he was holding the suntan lotion. “You forgot it...”

“I did too...” I said with a grin. He smiled back and squirted some into his hand. He seemed to be back to normal.

“What bit are you freaking out over? ‘Cause I’m never going to leave you. This marriage is going to work,” he begun to say as he sat on top of me. He rubbed the lotion into my body, fully taking advantage of the skilled fingers he had.

“I hope it does. If it doesn’t, I’m so screwed in life,” I admitted. It’s true. I would be so lost if I didn’t have him and Avenged Sevenfold. But mainly him, of course.

“And you’re going to look so amazing in your wedding dress, walking down the aisle...” Brian continued and I felt my stomach flutter with nerves, excitement and love. He currently wasn’t helping me to feel better about the wedding situation... “Your mother approves of me, my father approves of you, I’m crazily in love with you...” Then he paused his speaking while continuing to massage the lotion into me.

“And I’m crazily in love with you too...” I finished and he smiled that cute little smile of his. I loved the adorable way his cheeks got chubby and the shape his soft lips made. His smile truly made me happy.

“So why worry? Everything’s going to go smoothly and work out perfectly. I promise.” He leant down and kissed me. “Some people really do live happily ever after, ya know.”

“And some people don’t,” I countered, but he wasn’t really listening.

“We can, and we will be happy, okay?” he asked, but he didn’t expect an answer. “You’ve made the right choice to marry me. Let me prove it.”

“Babe...” I started to tell him how much of a sweetheart he was, but he interrupted me.

“How’d I go? Did you like my speech? I think I did pretty well, don’t you?” Brian asked while wearing a massive cheesy grin on his handsome face.

“I’m actually not freaking out, so yeah, good ‘speech’,” I said and he chucked the suntan lotion bottle away onto the sand.

“You wanna be on top?” he asked and I giggled. He thought I wasn’t taking him seriously again, which is stupid ‘cause I always do take him seriously. “Hey, I’m being serious. I have to distract you, remember?”

“Okay then,” I said, sitting up and kissing him hard on the lips. He moaned slightly into the kiss and I smiled into my next one. “Yeah, you win. This is a good way to distract me...”

“I know my wife well,” he said and my heart froze (I kept kissing him, though). His wife...