Such a Surreal Place

“What?” That was all I could manage to say.

“You heard me.”

“But I’m not!” I said, raising my voice. Why the hell would I cheat on him?

“So why the fuck do you keep on disappearing with Zacky?” he demanded, finally looking at me. He said that so powerfully and angrily that I leant back into my chair. He was clearly pissed at me. I became breathless as my heart dropped heavily into my stomach. I couldn’t tell him. That would betray Zacky’s trust. But I might lose my wonderful boyfriend if I don’t tell him. Quite a few seconds passed as all this flew through my brain. “Yeah, I thought so.” He stood up and headed for the door, taking my silence the wrong way, but I jumped up and got in his way.

“Please, just sit down. I’ll explain, okay?” I looked up into his brown eyes. They were filled with rage and heartbreak. I had never seen them like that before. I was scared. I could almost feel our love draining out of me. “I’m not cheating on you Brian; you have to understand I would NEVER do that.” He looked away from me. He looked back, down into my eyes. God, I hated seeing him hurt.

“Fine. Explain.” He went and sat back down and I stood shaking, still in shock from his accusation. I forced myself to sit next to him, but not too close so he didn’t move away. That would’ve hurt me so much more.

“Can you at least tell me why you think I’m cheating on you? With Zacky! Of all people!” I said gently, trying to control my breathing. I knew this was going to end in tears. I just prayed to God I didn’t lose him.

“Today, I went to go see what you two were doing, but before I went in to find you, I heard him say that you’re awesome, you said you knew, and then he said he loved you. Right after you two had spent like an hour in his changing room together!” Brian was getting tears in his eyes and that made me hurt too. “What the hell am I meant to think Ashleigh? That you’re NOT fucking my best friend?”

“I’m not!” I protested silently. I may as well have said nothing. I felt the tears coming.

“Well, what the hell are you doing when you two keep on disappearing? The guys don’t know what’s going on, Mel doesn’t, and I don’t either! I’m your fuckin’ boyfriend for Christ’s sake! Why can’t you tell me?” he demanded, his voice getting louder as he went on. Tears were sitting in my eyes, just waiting for him to push me over the edge so they could start falling. I hung my head low so he couldn’t see them. “If you’re in love with one of my best friends, you gotta tell me! Now!”

“I’m helping him try to get married to Melissa,” I scarcely whispered.

“You’re what?” he asked sounding very shocked as he ducked his head, trying to see my face. As I shivered, my hair fell further over my face so he couldn’t see my tears that had started to fall.

“I’m trying to arrange his wedding,” I explained as I cried. “He didn’t want to tell you or the band because he knew you guys would tell Mel and it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

“Oh... shit...”

“And you have the nerve to say I’m cheating on you!” My tears came more freely. I had to get out of here. He was just making me really upset. I stood up and stormed over to the door. I felt a pair of hands on me and I was thrown into the wall, hitting the light switch so the room fell into darkness.

“That was an accident,” I heard Syn whisper shakily. “I would NEVER physically hurt you on purpose.”

“Then why did you just then?”

“Because I had to stop you. I couldn’t have you leave me.” That would’ve been sweet if I wasn’t crying. He kissed me sloppily on my lips, then pulled me off the wall into a bear hug. I cried into his chest as he rubbed my back, trying to comfort me. He led me over to the couch and we sat down together, snuggled into each other’s arms. I heard a loud random bang.

“Ow! God damn it!” Jimmy shouted. “Who put that wall there?” I could hear Matt and Zacky laughing and it cheered me up a bit. Maybe I should be in a different room, with them instead of Syn... They were obviously a lot more happy then I was at the moment.

“Please don’t cry, baby,” he whispered soothingly. “I didn’t know. You can’t blame me for thinking that.” A few minutes later, I was still crying, just not as bad. I felt something wet drip onto my forehead. I looked up.

“You’re crying too?” I asked between sniffs.

“I don’t cry...” he muttered while wiping another tear away.

“Sorry...”

“For what? You did nothing wrong,” he said sincerely. “I’m the one who can’t trust the girl who I’m in love with. I should be apologizing.”

“I made a man who ‘doesn’t cry’, cry,” I said and he managed a small smile. Soon, we were both having an uncontrollable fit of giggling. What for? No idea. But at least we stopped crying.

“I love you,” he whispered, pulling me closer (which before I would’ve thought was impossible).

“I love you too,” I said, finally smiling.

Maybe we could last through this tour.