You're Living a Lie, You Just Can't Hide From Me

Natalie smiled, leading the group out of the apartment complex and to her beloved car. It was her baby, and her pride. That car was how she’d gotten out of Tempe and she was ridiculously thankful to have a mode of transportation. Especially in LA, which really was a driving city. Sure, Norma Jean was old, a little worn, but she was loved.

Natalie had gotten the car as soon for her sixteenth birthday. Her parents had decided that rather than actually give her a party, they would give her a car and let her do what she wanted. But, at the same time, having the access of her car had always been a problem especially in the months before she left. But those were times she chose not to think of. Norma had gotten her through the two years for better or for worse.

Alyssa figured they’d split up and half ride with her and half with Natalie. It made plenty of sense because there was no way that seven people could fit into Norma. She was a small bright blue Mazda that didn’t look like it could handle as much as it really could. So the group was divided that Garrett, John, and Pat would ride with Natalie, and Alyssa would take Jared and Kennedy.

The restaurant wasn’t far, but the tension between John and Garrett had members of the group a little hesitant. Natalie didn’t seem to notice, and if she did, she didn’t seem to mind. It wasn’t like her to try to resolve things that were beyond her control. Before Garrett could even make his way towards the car, John was standing by the passenger door. His longer legs made for longer strides, being a bit quicker than Garrett. The bassist almost chuckled at how juvenile this was. Were they supposed to yell “shotgun” and let that decide who sat where. Pat sat behind Natalie, and Garrett behind John wordlessly.

Natalie smiled into her rearview mirror, hoping that he saw before turning on the ignition. Everyone was slightly caught off guard to hear the music that was blasting. Garrett chuckled at Natalie’s choice. He’d seen her as so mellow, and now the loud metal coming out of her speakers had him surprised. She blushed, making a comment about forgetting to shut it off and her penchant for cheesy hair metal before pressing a button to remove the mix CD and popped in a new one that she’d had in her car door pocket.

The new music that filled the car made John grin. He figured Natalie to be one of those really cute nerdy indie girls who listened to Death Cab For Cutie. She smiled humming along as she drove, keeping her eyes straight on the road unless they were in the rearview mirror, trying to catch Garrett’s eyes. This was a lot more than awkward. If it wasn’t enough that he didn’t dare catch her gaze, it was because John kept looking over at her adoringly. He moved his arm so it touched hers when she reached for the gearshift or the radio or the air conditioner. But awkward didn’t mean that she didn’t like it.

The attention John was giving Natalie beyond flattered her. She was slightly nerved that he would disapprove of something she did. That she wouldn’t be worth his awe. The ride was basically silent except for the music. Natalie wasn’t a fan of silence, so she began rambling about dinner. They were going to a new restaurant, and she started talking about the reviews it got. But the only answers she got were one worded or grunts of acknowledgement.

Natalie pulled into the parking lot, and before she could open her own door, John had rounded the car and opened it for her. She smiled, accepting his help, and letting him help her out of the car. She liked this gentlemanly side of him, and she liked how she was pulled towards him. He had pulled her out of the car and against him. The scent of him was growing on her, and the feel of their bodies pressed together made her a blushing mess. Even in her high heels, he was a giraffe. She smiled, not letting go of his hand as they stood there, waiting for Garrett and Pat.

John smiled, letting go of her hand only to wrap his arm around her and take hold of her other hand.

She was a little shocked at the action, and how closely they continued to be, but she liked it. Something about being this close to him, while it made her nervous, was also intriguing. She was a very perceptive person, taking in every movement, scent and look. But as her gaze met Garrett’s, her smile dropped. He didn’t look happy at all, and she didn’t know why. Surely he knew that this was purely platonic. She didn’t belong to anyone, and neither he nor John had any ties to her. She just liked being held, and having someone close to her. The redhead didn’t want Garrett to be upset or offended, but she couldn’t see why he ever would be.

The truth was that he thought John was just playing a game with Natalie. That John thought this was a competition for her. Garrett was never the one to make a public display of how he felt. He never showed too much of his emotion because he was timid and reserved. He didn’t know how people would react to him and he didn’t bother to find out. He probably wouldn’t even have the guts to admit to Natalie why it bothered him so, but he didn’t want to cause any problems.

She was a sweet girl, and if John was doing this to spite him or to play with her emotions, that wasn’t fair. It was so John Ohh to flirt his way into a girl’s bed because he could or play the game to prove a point. Garrett had seen him do it before and he couldn’t imagine Natalie being the next conquest. She was too smart for this… She was too good for him. She had to see through it, right?

“Dude, just relax.” Pat spoke, putting a hand on his best friend’s shoulder.
The bassist glanced at the ground.

“Things will work out. You know John’s going to fuck this up anyway.”

The younger boy chuckled, playfully messing up Pat’s hair before they followed the other two into the restaurant.

And just as luck would have it, Natalie got seated between John and Garrett. It was as if a sick game was being played on them. Of course, she didn’t notice that she was causing any sort of rift between them. She didn’t notice the tension or the fact that both boys were looking at her in a deliberate fashion. How every move she made caused a reaction. How reaching for her fork would cause her to graze Garrett’s right hand or reaching for her water glass would cause her arm to skim John’s shirt. She was feeling oddly claustrophobic.

“So…” She began, looking pleadingly at Alyssa. “How goes it in the studio?”

“It’s going really well… just John’s having some writer’s block.” Kennedy began.

John cleared his throat. “Its not writer’s block… it’s figuring out how to say things properly.”

“Like what?” Natalie asked timidly, unsure if it was too personal to ask or if he’d take offense somehow.

“Its like… the way I wrote it just sounds…”

“Like shit.” Garrett snarled lowly.

“It just doesn’t fit the emotion I want, you know? The words don’t flow, so they won’t fit in the song.”

She didn’t know what he meant at all, but she nodded just the same. Having overheard Garrett, she sent him a pointed look.

He sighed, shaking his head but not saying anything.

“Well, is everyone ready to order?” The waiter had returned ceasing any further awkwardness for the moment.

Natalie wasn’t sure what was going on between John and Garrett. She didn’t understand that she had come between them whether she meant to or not. But she noted that both boys were acting a bit odd and that she was literally in the middle of it. She wasn’t interested in any sort of drama and was anxious for dinner to be over so that things could go back to normal.

There was something about Garrett that made her feel as if she had betrayed him by even looking at John. She felt oddly devoted to him, in some way that she couldn’t explain even if she tried. But John intrigued her because of his charm. He was so smooth, so dashing… she couldn’t help but be drawn to him. For all she knew, neither boy was interested in her. She figured that she was thinking too much about the whole thing, and excused herself to go to the bathroom.

Natalie stood in front of the mirror in the ladies room, trying to figure out why all she could think about was the two boys. Her mind was so focused on them that trying to figure out what she wanted to do, why she was in California, and even what she wanted to eat didn’t seem to matter. The way she was looking in the mirror was as if she could find the answers there. Realizing that she was just staring at her reflection, she left the bathroom to find Garrett on his way to the men’s room. He paused and smiled shyly at her. He hadn’t gotten her alone and while this was not the most appropriate time, he did want to speak to her, if he could get up the nerve.

Garrett was her friend and even he was acting a bit odd. The way he kept looking at her made her wonder if she had food in her teeth or a booger sticking out of her nose. She may not have been the most confident person, but she’d never quite felt so scrutinized before.

“Gar, what’s up?”

He almost chuckled. “You’re just really beautiful.”

“Oh… well, thanks.” She blushed.

He looked down, surprised that he had been that blunt to her. It wasn’t like him to be able to compliment so easily.

“Gary,” Her voice was soft. “Is something wrong? You seem a little sad.”

“I-it’s a little stupid.”

“I’m sure it isn’t.”

“Okay.” He chuckled lightly. “I’m not used to sharing you.”

Her blush darkened.

“I-I mean, I’m so used to it just being us that-“

“I know.” She sighed. “I love hanging out with you, you know that.”

He didn’t reply, just smiled in a sad manner that instantly made her feel guilty.

“Alright. We’ll go to the club and hang out… Maybe we’ll leave early and the boys can take a cab home.”

“I like that idea.” He smiled softly.

Natalie smiled a bit, not showing her teeth.

She didn’t want to ditch the boys, and she couldn’t promise Garrett anything, but she did want to spend adequate time with him. It was kind of rude how she barely spent any time with the other members of the Maine. She felt as if it was alienating them and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

“Come on, let me buy you a drink.” John smiled flirtatiously, looping his arms around Natalie.

“Johnny Boy, its really okay.” She giggled.

He was definitely not sober, and she wasn’t interested in drinking. She and Garrett had been sitting at a table in the corner discussing their favorite comic books, D.C. vs. Marvel and what superpower they’d want to have. And then John interrupted, saying he wanted to talk to her. Natalie didn’t feel she could resist, so she sent Garrett an apologetic look and went with the singer.

He was far too charming for his own good even when less than sober. The way he held her and how his lips moved made her feel crazy. There was something about him that made her wonder… A boy like that was probably not good for her. But she could imagine herself between the sheets of his bed. In fact, she had a feeling such would be the outcome if she’d had a sip of alcohol in her system.

“Then dance with me.”

She smiled, nodding her head.

The bassist she had left behind was nursing a Coke at the table, watching as she and John interacted. He was a bit disappointed that she’d left him, but he had a feeling it’d happen. But Natalie was too smart to fall for John, wasn’t she? Garrett watched as he held her closely, as she giggled. The way her body was a bit stiffer and she seemed to be trying harder than she’d do around him. He watched the way she nodded and how their bodies were instantly pressed against each other.

With the way she moved, he was certain that the girl on the dance floor was not the innocent, little, shy girl he used to know. Natalie knew exactly what she was doing, and she knew that John was loving it. She didn’t stop his hands that seemed to wander and her gaze seemed to fall on him from time to time, but seemed to always come back to Garrett. The way she was looking at him was almost as if she was challenging him.

Garrett bit his lip. He wasn’t a very good dancer, and he had a feeling that just having her body pressed against his like that would arouse more than just his mind. But with the way she and John were, he couldn’t watch. So, taking a deep breath, he got up and made his way over to her.

John shot him a look that he should back off, but he wasn't going to. He didn't care anymore about John or about how they were competing. He just knew that he needed to be close to her right now. He politely asked if he could have a turn, but when John didn't move, he took Natalie by the hand and led her away from the singer to another spot on the dance floor. She shot him a surprised look with a smile. It was so unGarrett to take charge as he did and she found it sexy.

“What happened to you?” He asked as she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck.

Natalie stared him in the eye as they danced, thinking carefully about what to tell him. Garrett didn’t know the real reason she graduated high school early and why she left Tempe so abruptly. He would never have expected the true answer, and she didn’t want to scare him away with it. It was something that he would think of her terribly for. He would lose respect for her and not want to have anything to do with her anymore. He would be so disgusted that he would throw in the towel on their friendship.

A boy like that would never understand why things had changed or why she couldn’t be the girl he’d thought she was. She was embarrassed about the decisions she’d made that had caused all of this, but she wasn’t sure she regretted it. Still, this was something that, for now, she couldn’t tell Garrett. He would think the worst of it and be horrified. He would call her every name he could think of.

So, she played coy. “What do you mean?”

Garrett looked at her as if he was trying to read her mind or find a clue on her face, but she gave him nothing. Natalie was someone he’d assumed he had all figured out mere months before, and now he was totally lost. But still, he was oddly mesmerized by her and so unsure of everything.

“Nat, don’t play like that. You are not who I remember you to be… at all.”

She smiled like the Cheshire Cat, as if she wondered if she should challenge him. “People change, Gar.”

He seemed content, but terribly curious.