You're Living a Lie, You Just Can't Hide From Me

Garrett groaned, not wanting to leave his bed. He didn’t want to discover Natalie wearing nothing but John’s Tom Petty shirt, sitting in the kitchen. How had she agreed to “tuck him in?” Hadn’t she noticed that he had an ulterior motive?

A worse thought made its way through the bass player’s head. What if she did want to sleep with him? What if she wasn’t the innocent girl he held her to be… But something told him that he was giving her too much credit either way. He didn't know her very well in high school, and he didn't know her much better than that now no matter how much he thought he did.

But he had crushed on her from afar for years. Rachael never understood some things about him and he had always imagined that Natalie would. However, he loved Rachael, and even now still felt strongly for her. It was strange that much of his heartbreak had lessened when Natalie reappeared into his life, but lately, it'd come back. He'd never been a jealous person, but thinking about the redhead in bed with John upset him greatly.

"Gary?" Kennedy spoke, sitting up in bed.

"Yeah, Ken?"

"I think you need to be more obvious with Natalie about your feelings..."

Garrett didn't know if he could. He had had all of his cards out for Rachael and she had broken his heart. Natalie was already playing games with him and with John... He didn't know if he had the winning hand or the losing one.

He knew that there was basically no way she'd choose him over John. Girls always went after John because he had male model looks, because he was the lead singer... Garrett knew that his chances were not so good.

The bass player turned to look at the guitarist. "What if its all in vain? Maybe she does like John..."

The older boy smiled softly. "Garrett, how long have you liked her? She's always been there and you've never taken a chance... maybe this competition with John is what you need."

Garrett pondered what his friend said for a while in silence. He knew that Kennedy had a point, because if he never did anything about his feelings for Natalie, it was just going to bother him further. She didn't hold ties to him yet, but if he didn't do anything, she would be bound to his taller, more charismatic friend.

He sighed, hoping that a shower would make him feel better. The hot water would clear his mind of all of this. He had given Rachael everything, maybe a part of him was afraid to put himself out there again. But he had a feeling that if he and Natalie were together, she would be totally faithful to him... Didn't he owe it to himself to let her know how he felt?

Making his way to the bathroom, he peeked his head into the room Jared and John shared. John was still asleep, but Natalie was no longer by his side. It slightly comforted Garrett to not have to see them together. He was sure that if he had, it would've hurt him worse than anything.

Natalie sighed, leaning against Jared as they watched the first season of "the O.C." Neither was really paying too much attention to the screen, but Adam Brody was longing for Rachael Bilson's character and they were at some party somewhere. Natalie laughed at the idea that high school seemed so easy on TV. Her experience was definitely not like that.

"Thanks for hanging out with me." She spoke quietly.

"Of course, Tals." He grinned. "I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me... um... what made you leave Tempe."

She smiled softly. "Of course, J."

Being with Jared was just so simple. He felt like an old friend, even though she'd never met him until the boys came to record. He was a good listener, and wiser than people gave him credit for. He didn't question why she did things or make her feel badly about her decisions. He opened her eyes to other possibilities, and made her comfortable admitting that she'd made mistakes.

Jared didn't want to tell Natalie what to do, but he had a few ideas. John was his best friend, just slightly closer to him than Garrett was. He thought that John and Natalie would make a great couple, but Garrett had her heart. She needed to stop toying around with the singer and come to terms with her feelings and with the boy that she felt them for. But he knew that she'd have to come to that decision herself. Natalie was quite stubborn and wanted to plan things extensively.

"You promise you don't think I'm a total Yoko Ono?"

The ginger haired boy chuckled. "I don't think you're a total Yoko Ono. I don't think anything could break up this band... not even an amazing girl like yourself."

She smiled softly.

"But I think you need to figure out what you want before anything. Because John really likes you, and Garrett... have you ever noticed the way he looks at you, Natalie?"

"What are you talking about?"

Jared didn't respond. He'd prided himself on being able to read people, and while Garrett was usually the hardest to read, when it came to Natalie, he wore his heart on his sleeve. He looked at her as if she were on a runway, like a model... Like she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen even when she was in sweatpants.

The older boy had never seen that look from the bass player before, and the way he thought everything she did was amazing. The way his eyes would light up if anyone brought up the girl. He knew that Garrett felt strongly about Natalie as well, but it wasn't his place to confess that.

But then there was John. Jared didn't know what was going to happen between the boy Natalie loved and should be with, or the boy she seemed to want because it was expected. She'd said herself, John reminded her of the boys who used her for her body, never to speak to her again. That he was too charming for his own good and could have her falling into his bed with a couple words.

"I think you're being too guarded with your heart."

Natalie nodded slowly.

"I can't make the decision for you, but it needs to be done, Tal."

The redhead sighed deeply, wrapping her arms around Jared's neck. "Thanks J."

"Of course, Natalie."

After Jared left, Natalie decided that she needed to unwind. Alyssa had left early for work and she couldn't stay in the apartment all alone. She decided that she needed to clear her head of everything. Not knowing where to go, she made her way to the boardwalk, hoping that she could figure things out from there.

It was a warm day, even though it was barely noon. Natalie wore jean shorts and a cutup Death Cab For Cutie t-shirt that she'd made into a racerback tanktop. On her feet, she wore a simple black pair of Toms. It wasn't like she needed to dress up for anyone, this was a day about her.

She walked along the boardwalk, sighing as her gaze fell on couples. It seemed that they were everywhere around her. It was too cute, but it made her heart hurt. She didn't know why seeing two random people holding hands affected her so much, but they did. She wished that things were simpler. She was accountable for her mistakes, and she was almost certain that they'd come back to haunt her, but she felt lost.

Garrett hadn't made his feelings for her known, always making her feel as if she were just a friend to him. They had spent a lot of time together, and everytime he touched her, it sent her skin aflame. But he never made a move. He never held her just a bit tighter or moved his lips closer to her own. And, of course, she knew that he was timid, but she'd hoped that he'd give her some sort of hint.

Maybe he wasn't interested... or maybe it was just because he wasn't ready. He had loved Rachael a lot, so maybe he wasn't over her? How could she choose him if he didn't choose her? She thought she'd made it obvious that she felt something for him.

And then there was always John... and Natalie liked him a lot. He was sweet and charming, he made her blush. His lyrics and insights so intellectual and deep. Plus, he was probably one of the most gorgeous men she'd ever seen. But, in all honesty, she knew that her feelings for Garrett overruled what she felt for him. It didn't feel right to lead him on, because she did have feelings for him, but they just weren't strong enough to cancel out the way she felt for Garrett.

She sighed, making her way to Amoeba Records and immersing herself in the aisles of records. She smiled, picking up a copy of Death Cab For Cutie's "Something About Airplanes." This was what she needed to do... have some time alone to think. Away from the boys, away from all of the confusion that they brought.

"Hey." A soft voice called, causing her to spin around.

Natalie couldn't say she was totally surprised to see Garrett. He looked a little sleepy, but still incredibly attractive. He was wearing a pair of darkwash skinny jeans and a black and white striped tank top, also wearing Toms. His hair looked as if he'd just woken up, but she assumed he probably had spent half an hour making it look like that. He had a small smile on his face.

"Hey." She spoke quietly.

"I... D-do you want to get some lunch?"

Natalie nodded slowly. "I just want to buy this first."

"Let me get it for you."

"Gar-"

"I insist." He told her, taking the record from her hands, and touching her arm gently.

She couldn't help but smile. It was little things like that about Garrett that made her fall for him. He smiled at her shyly, looking over at the record and nodding in approval. The younger girl smiled that Garrett liked her selection and followed him to the cash register. He didn't have to pay for her record, but he was such a gentleman. She knew that he would have fought her if she tried to pay for it after he'd insisted.

Garrett cleared his throat as they walked along the boardwalk. "I kind of figured you'd still be with John."

Natalie knew this was coming. She didn't have a witty answer for him, so she just shrugged. Maybe she hadn't made the smartest decision by sleeping with John, even if only in the literal sense. She had hoped that it would anger Garrett enough that he'd admit that he was jealous. She wanted him to feel betrayed so that he could finally admit he felt something for her.

"Are you-?"

"Gary," She sighed, folding her arms across her chest.

"Are you... with him now?"

"No?" It came out as a question, and Natalie immediately knew she'd have to explain the reaction. She took a deep breath, shaking her head. "We kissed."

"Oh."

Garrett was immediately upset at this... sure, they'd only kissed, but still. John knew how he felt about her. John was going after the girl that he knew Garrett had fallen for so long ago. He had kissed her while Garrett spent all of his time dreaming of her lips. She had slept in his arms while Garrett dreamed of her sleeping in his.

It angered him that she thought nothing of it. That she didn't seem to care either way. He knew that technically, she didn't owe him anything, but he was upset that she'd kissed his friend rather than him. It was childish, but he felt as if he had to compete with John for her.

"Look, we're just friends. Like you and I are just friends."

Garrett wanted to say something at this, but couldn't come up with anything. He didn't understand how she had no idea that he had feelings for her. Sure, he wasn't as expressive about it as John was, but he didn't know how to be.

"Natalie, I..." He sighed. "I feel like i don't know you at all after four years of being in the same classes."

"Garrett, that's because you don't know me." She told him with a sad smile.

"Well, will you let me? God, Nat, I've been trying-"

Natalie smiled, pulling her hair from its clip and letting it fly wildly as the wind hit it. Garrett thought she looked like some sort of goddess at that instant. Her ocean colored eyes partially hidden by her red hair, and her scarlet lips in a good natured grin.

He stuck his hands in his pockets, just watching her, unsure of what to do.

"Let's get some lunch, okay?" She told him quietly. "We'll go from there, okay?"