You're Living a Lie, You Just Can't Hide From Me

Natalie smiled, lying in Garrett's embrace. He was still asleep, and she had tried, but couldn't go back to sleep. Frowning slightly, she crept out of his arms, careful not to wake him. She always felt slightly embarrassed, even now that they'd been together for over a week when she saw one of the guys as she was leaving his bedroom.

They were just so immature and always cracking sexual jokes that she didn't have the heart to make them stop. She knew it was just lighthearted fun, but it did bother her. Especially because none of it was true, whether she wanted it to be or not. She loved Garrett dearly, but never having felt such a way scared her. She didn't know anything about expressing her feelings. It was like an unspoken fact between them though.

With a small sigh, she found a mug and filled it with coffee, quickly adjusting it to her tastes before bringing it up to her lips.

"So to what do I owe the honor?" A voice called, scaring her, and almost causing her to drop the mug full of coffee.

Natalie placed it gently on the counter, turning to see John leaning against the island with his signature smirk. "You scared me."

"Did you just wake up?"

She shook her head. "Gary's dead to the world though."

The singer chuckled, but saying anything.

The redhead gave John a onceover, smiling at his attire. He wore a plain white v-neck and a pair of sweatpants that seemed to be too short for his lanky frame with some white socks. She shook her head at him.

"Can I take you out for breakfast?"

Natalie opened her mouth to respond, but the look in his hazel eyes was undeniable.

"Please, Tals?"

The girl nodded slowly, unsure if this was such a good idea.

She hadn't been alone with John since... well, the night she and Garrett got together. But they were going to breakfast as strictly friends. It wasn't like it was a date or anything... He wasn't stupid. He had promised Garrett that he'd step aside, and he wouldn't betray that. She knew she was nervous for no reason.

"I just have to g-get dressed." She spoke quietly, forgetting her coffee and heading back to the room that Garrett shared with Kennedy.

Natalie found it odd that Kennedy had been spending more nights at her apartment recently than she had. Ever since Kenny and Alyssa decided they wanted to go out, he'd been a permanent guest there. She had wondered if it'd be weird if he'd slept in the same room, on the twinsized bed beside Garrett's, but that hadn't been a problem. He hadn't really been around except at the studio.

It made her feel kind of badly, as if she were ruining the band dynamic, though Garrett swore it was fine. The last thing she wanted was either to get in the way herself or cause Alyssa to be in the way. To Garrett, it was just so cute how much Natalie cared about little things like that. She wanted nothing more than to help him and the band.

She worried about distracting them, though he constantly reassured her that she hadn't. Except maybe the fact that it seemed so obvious who John's songs were about. A lot of the time, so he claimed, they weren't even about girls, but it didn't seem that way.

Natalie dressed quickly, throwing on a shirt of Garrett's that hung like a dress, too lazy to wear anything of her own. Besides, she loved wearing his clothes. They smelt like him, and they were soft because they'd already been worn. Plus, she liked the way they were a bit too big on her. She smiled, throwing on her sandals, and running a brush through her hair.

"Baby?" Garrett called out groggily.

"Morning, Gar." She leaned down to kiss him.

"Why are you getting dressed?"

"John's taking me out to breakfast. Wanna come?"

Garrett sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Do you ever wear your own clothes anymore?!"

Natalie just smiled, sticking out her tongue as she placed a couple bracelets on. "If people realize I'm wearing your clothes, they won't mess with me 'cause I already have an awesome, zombie slaying boyfriend."

"Hell yeah!" He chuckled, lazily reaching out and grabbing her by the waist, pulling her back to bed. "You look cute... I mean, like usual, but-"

"You're sweet." She smiled. "But John Ohh's waiting for me. The offer still stands, you wanna come?"

Garrett smiled softly, kissing her once more. "No, its okay."

"Want me to bring you back something then?"

He nodded.

"Alright." Natalie smiled. "When I come back, we're totally watching 'Teeth.'"

"Again?! Baby, it wasn't even scary."

"Its amazing though, Gar! Its cult horror."

"Alright." He sighed. "But we'll watch something I pick after."

"Deal." She smiled.

"So," John began, picking at his eggs.

"We're okay, right?" Natalie asked carefully. "I mean, after-"

"You've been in love with Garrett since high school. I never stood a chance."

She sighed, looking down at her waffles.

There was something about the way John looked at her that made her uncertain if he was serious or not. He made her nervous, but not like she thought he meant to harm her.... Just... uncomfortable, but not necessarily in a bad way.

She knew that she had some feelings for him, but her feelings for Garrett always overpowered those. The boys were best friends, and he had to respect their relationship. Garrett was basically a brother to him, so he wouldn't dare try anything. But when it came to Natalie, John found it hard to control himself. He knew of the boundaries, and he knew he'd promised to step aside, but she was so perfect.

She looked so gorgeous with no makeup, wearing only her boyfriend's shirt. The white material didn't do much to hide the darker color of her bra. He didn't like that she teased him as she did, even without trying. But Natalie had no idea she was giving him any sort of show. Garrett hadn't mentioned anything before she left, and, really, if it had been a problem, he would have. But, he had been half asleep....

Natalie didn't feel comfortable with John staring at her breasts like he was. She knew wearing a pushup bra was not a good idea, but she hadn't brought anything else. She wrapped her arms around herself, hoping he'd realize and stop.

"I'm sorry." She spoke quietly. "I should have never led you on like that."

He shrugged. "Its okay."

"No, I mean... I had no idea Garrett had feelings for me, but that was low. I don't want you to think that I was just using you-"

"Oh, so you weren't?"

The redhead opened her mouth to respond, but then closed it when she couldn't figure out what to say.

"Look, Natalie, I have feelings for you. I think you're beautiful, and smart, and funny, and sexy.... But you made your choice. You can't do this."

"Do what? I'm apologizing."

"I don't think you can apologize, Tals. We're just..."

"What am I supposed to say?! I'm sorry I gave you blue balls."

"Not funny." He scoffed.

She sighed, shaking her head, returning to her meal in silence.

Natalie didn't know what John wanted from her, but she had a feeling that their relationship was not what it was. How could they be friends when they had almost slept together? She hadn't mentioned her fears to Garrett because he brushed them off as nonsense, claiming that John would be over it. He clearly wasn't, and, to be honest, she wasn't totally either.

"Have you fucked him yet?"

"Is that really any of your business?"

"I just think its funny that you were ready to spread your legs for me on the first date and Garrett hasn't even-"

"John," Natalie spoke firmly. "Don't, okay?"

"I mean, Tals, I understand that you love him. You guys are great together, but are you sexually compatible? I mean, that does mean a lot in relationships."

"When the time comes, we will be. I'm not concerned."

John sighed, shaking his head. He didn't understand why Garrett was even bothering with waiting when he was dating Natalie. She had this innocence about her, but he knew that she probably was a great lay. He was still a little disappointed that he never found out himself.

He could see where the shirt had ridden up as she sat, exposing more of her milky white legs. It was hard to deny just how much he wanted little Natalie Evers underneath him right now. He hadn't even made it that obvious, but she was blushing like she knew exactly what he was thinking.

Every concern Natalie had about going to breakfast with John had basically been validated. All she wanted was to somehow get over what happened between them and become friends. She knew she was attracted to him, but that wasn't enough. He wasn't Garrett. She would never do anything to hurt her boyfriend, especially when it had taken her so long to get him.

She pulled the shirt down as far as she could, now regretting wearing it without leggings or anything. "I want to be friends with you... John, I'm trying."

"I know." He sighed. "But do you know how hard it is, Natalie? Seeing you, and, especially after we almost-"

"Well, we didn't, and I can't change what happened, but I wish we'd never gotten that far."

"Natalie, you said it yourself, that Garrett is the reason that you became such a-"

"A slut?"

"I mean- I-I...."

"Its true." Natalie shook her head. "But not anymore."

"So now that your little fairy tale dreams have come true, you're going to disregard everything that he inadvertently put you through?"

"Yes."

John sighed.

He didn't know what else he could say. He wanted to approve of her relationship with Garrett, but he was too selfish. The feeling that he'd lost was one he wasn't over and he didn't know what to do. He had never expected things to happen as they did with Natalie. He had just figured she'd turn out like all of the other girls. He hadn't expected to have real feelings for her.

Natalie wasn't "fair game" anymore; Garrett had won. He'd always figured that she'd realize that it wasn't worth it after everything, but she hadn't. Natalie was so idealistic that things had finally worked out. She had waited, made some mistakes during that time, but still, for him. She hadn't found someone else.

John had never had to compete for a girl. Garrett had never been competition. But Natalie wasn't like any other girl. He was still a bit shocked at how things had turned out, and, while he figured he should have expected it, he couldn't. The singer really had hoped that she'd come to her senses and pick him instead.

Natalie frowned. She didn't like where this was going, and she regretted agreeing to go to breakfast, especially without Garrett by her side. She was angry and embarrassed that John had reopened the conversation. She just wanted to go back to the apartment and cuddle against her boyfriend.

"Look, I'm sorry for all that happened, but I love Garrett." She spoke quietly. "I've always loved Garrett."

"I know." He sighed. "I know."

Natalie didn't hesitate to crawl into bed beside Garrett as soon as she was home. She had rushed from the car as soon as John had puled into the parking spot. He hadn't even turned off the car as she rushed to the elevator. The boys had given her a key, so she was in the apartment, quickly putting the leftovers away and soon in Garrett's bed before John was even on the floor.

"Hey." Garrett chuckled.

"Did you fall back asleep?" Natalie giggled.

"No... Just waiting for you."

"I put the leftovers in the fridge.... I mislabeled it so the boys won't get to it first."

"You're the best." He smiled, hugging her tightly.

Natalie smiled, pressing her lips to Garrett's softly.

All of John's talking had made her even happier that she had him. She didn't know what boy would be able to forgive her and love her even if she had been such a slut and had let herself be used as she had. The fact that Garrett loved her, and saw through all of that... She didn't understand it, but she loved that he did.

Natalie had wanted him for so long, that now it was hard not to throw herself at him. He was such a gentleman, and while she agreed to wait, she wasn't totally sure she wanted to. Now that she had her dream boy, she was wondering about the point that John had brought up, their sexual compatibility. The girl knew that she and Garrett were perfect for one another, and she knew that even sexually, they'd be perfect, but she was anxious to find out.

"What is it?" Garrett chuckled as she straddled his lap and once again pressed their lips together.

The bass player couldn't figure Natalie out. He had a feeling that breakfast hadn't gone so well, and this was how she was taking out her frustration. Of course, he wasn't complaining, but he didn't know why she didn't want to just talk about it. She didn't like facing her problems, nor did she like confrontation. He wanted nothing but to be there for Natalie, and if this was how she wanted to handle the situation, then so be it.

Natalie smiled, running her hands over his bare chest as they kissed. "I love you, Gary."

He smiled, twirling a tendril of her red hair in his hand. "I love you, Nat."

"I shouldn't have gone to breakfast... Things are so weird between John and me."

Garrett frowned as she leaned forward, pressing her face into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head as he waited for an explanation. He hated how John had clearly upset her. He hated not knowing what to do or how to make things better.

After a minute, Natalie moved so that she could look into her boyfriend's cerulean eyes. "Its stupid, but when John brought it up, I realized it bothered me."

The copper haired boy frowned, as Natalie told him what she'd been thinking. How she'd gone further with John than she had her own boyfriend. It wasn't even that, it wasn't just about sex... She just couldn't believe that he'd thrown that in her face.

It wasn't the only thing that had bothered her from breakfast, but she didn't want to cause a rift between the bandmates. The last thing she wanted was to get in the way. They had to concentrate on this album. The girl didn't want to hurt anyone, and she didn't want to upset Garrett.

"I didn't know it mattered so much to you." Garrett spoke. "Nat, why is sex so fucking important?"

She frowned. "You don't want to fuck me, Gar? You don't want to fill me up with your cock? You don't want to make love to me?"

"That's not what I'm asking, baby." He sighed. "Of course I do."

"I just..." Natalie blushed. "Its supposed to be making love, you know? And, I've never had a good... Sex hasn't been something I've enjoyed. I want you to be the first person I experience a real... positive, loving experience with, Gar. It sounds so cheesy, but you know what my past has been like."

Garrett nodded slowly, pressing his lips to hers. "Baby, I didn't even-"

"Its okay." She whispered.

"Do you want me to talk to John?"

"No. I just want to lay here with you and watch movies."

"Sounds like a plan."