You're Living a Lie, You Just Can't Hide From Me

"Nat, I-" Garrett spoke hesitantly as she reached for her own shirt and threw it wherever his was.

He couldn't get the words out though as his eyes drank in her upper body clad in only a baby blue bra. He wondered if her underwear matched... He wondered what type of underwear she wore. Natalie was so willing and he surely could find out, but he didn't want to rush her.

He knew that he didn't even have to ask and she would give herself to him in an instance, but he didn't want to take advantage of her affections. They hadn't been dating very long and he wanted to show her that not every guy would only want her for sex. She was his girlfriend. not his plaything, and he loved her. But when she sat in front of him in her bra and jeans, he didn't know if he could summon the will to refuse her.

"Gary," She smiled softly. "Its okay." The small girl from her place in his lap, letting her fingers trail over his bare back.

"I don't..." His words were swallowed as she pressed her lips to his once again.

Natalie felt terrible that John had seen her naked when Garrett hadn't. She felt dirty and uncomfortable, and only her boyfriend could fix her. She needed him to make her feel worthwhile, but she thought it sounded so pitiful that she didn't dare admit it to him. She understood that Garrett was keeping his guard up for a reason, and that he was trying to show her that their relationship was only based on sex. Still, she had these needs and he was the only one who could satisfy them.

The bass player laid her back on the bed, crawling over her, but keeping his weight off of her small body. He kissed her gently before his lips trailed over her neck, her earlobe, her shoulder, the top of her breasts. Natalie inhaled sharply at the gesture, amazed that the simplest thing had left her gasping. He didn't need to do much to get such an effect from her.

He chuckled softly, kissing her lips gently and smiling. "Baby, believe me. Its not easy resisting you."

"Then don't."

Garrett sighed. "Baby,"

Natalie's eyes were wide and her lips were practically trembling as if she were about to cry. She felt rejected. She didn't know why he didn't want to let himself give into her. It scared her that he still had his guard up, as if he thought she would break his heart like Rachael had. He knew her better than that. He knew that she was doing this for a reason. Natalie always got more anxious to be intimate with him when she felt like her relationship was the only thing she could control.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." She spoke, giving him a look of uncertainty. Her voice was a little shaky, and he could tell that she was trying to mask her sadness from his rejection. Her eyes looked greener than ever, jade even. She brought a hand to his hair and let her fingers get lost in his copper tresses. She didn't want to face what he already knew. She didn't want to admit it because he already knew what she was doing and what she was feeling.

Admitting it made it more real. She didn't want to cause problems between bandmates and she didn't want to upset him most importantly. Sure, she hadn't cheated on him, but it felt like it. That someone other than him had seen her... all of her. And Garrett hadn't even gotten the opportunity yet. But she was convinced he already knew all of that.

"Don't lie to me, Nat. I know you, and I know you get more... affectionate because you feel as if the world around you is following apart and you need to feel close to me so that I can piece it together." The bass player spoke quietly. "I don't mind it, you know. I just... I love you, and I don't want you to be upset. Tell me what's wrong."

"I just... John." She didn't know how to say it.

"I know, baby."

"No you don't!" Her voice rose slightly in volume, a tone filled with desperation as the tears that she was holding back were starting to fall from her eyes. She clenched them shut in hopes that no more would fall, but it didn't help. Garrett frowned, kissing the tears away, stroking her cheek gently. "Garrett, he saw me... all of me. Naked. And you act like its not a big deal. You're the only one whose supposed to see that..."

"What do you want me to do, Natalie? Punch him?" Garrett spoke gently. "Baby, I'm not okay with it by any means, but I don't think there is anything that I can do..." His frown reappeared and he sighed. He kissed her jawline, pausing to look into her eyes so that she could see the honesty he spoke. His eyes showed pain too. He was hurt that his best friend continued to try to take her from him, but Garrett was never the confrontational type. He wasn't violent either, and even if he was, he would never be able to hurt John.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I thought the door was locked, Gar."

"Baby, I'm not mad at you... Think of it like this, John's so jealous of me because he knows what he's missing."

Natalie smiled softly as his fingers brushed across her cheek. She couldn't help but sink into his touch. Somehow, he always knew how to make her feel better. He always made everything feel okay. Even before they'd been together, her hopes of one day being his had kept her sane. He had this look of concern as they lay together, silence taking over the conversation. Nothing else really needed to be said anyway. Garrett had a point, and while Natalie had hoped that there was something that could be done, he didn't. It was funny to her that she'd ever thought of Garrett able to be jealous and vengeful to bestow her honor. He loved her terribly, but he wasn't about to kill the band's singer.

"As long as from now on, other than your doctor, I'm the only one who gets to see you naked."

She laughed. "Okay, baby."

Natalie loved Garrett, but she was getting tired as he played the “chivalrous” role. She appreciated that he was so careful with her and that he didn't expect anything from her, but she never wanted to give herself to anyone more. His hands pulled her shirt higher and his fingers trailed over her pale skin.

She could feel herself shivering, unable to deny him anything. He trailed his lips over her jawline once again before moving lower. He nipped at the hollow of her throat, sucking on the skin, causing her to arched into him. Her hips pressing into his as she stared at him with half-lidded eyes, unable to do more than smile hazily at his affection. His lips left her skin and the shirt rose higher. His fingers trailed over the underwire of her bra and he bit his lower lip.

"Gar," She let out a soft gasp as if begging him to do something more substantial. Garrett liked teasing her like this, and the innocent games they played. He didn't need to sleep with her to be happy. Sure, he was a guy and he definitely wanted to sleep with Natalie, but he wanted it to be perfect... Like the way her first time should have been. "Why don't you want to make love to me?" Her voice was small, sad.

"I'm not going to use you like that, Natalie. Those other guys just treated you like a personal sex toy and I would hate myself if I ever-"

"Garrett," She sighed, bringing a hand to his face. "I don't understand how you see it as you using me. I'm not asking you to fuck me... or asking you to have sex with me. I'm asking you to stop fighting me and make love to me. I want you to show me how to make love..." Her voice was quiet and almost childlike. She did love him dearly, and she knew that he loved her, but she wanted to show it. She wanted to be shown love in the highest regard... the experience. She just wanted him to prove his love... show her in the most carnal way.

He smiled softly. "Nat, baby... I want to, but I'm trying to wait. I just, we just got together, you know? I don't want to move too quickly. I don't want to lose you."

The girl smiled softly, finally accepting his position. She curled further into him, nuzzling against him as he moved from on top of her to beside her. Garrett smiled softly, kissing her lips gently, before his fingers touched the skin where her shirt had ridden up. Natalie smiled softly, bringing a hand to his disheveled hair, messing it up further, if possible.

"I love you." Garrett spoke quietly, looking into her ocean eyes, being the most sincere he could.

Natalie smiled widely. "I love you too, Gar. Always."

"Well then, we have a lot of time to figure things out."

Natalie hummed along as she sat in the studio control room watching John sing. Garrett had invited her, even though he was almost finished tracking bass. He thought she'd appreciate watching and learning about how a record's made.

The truth was, she really did enjoy it. Even though she was more than angry at John, the boy could sing. But the way he stared at her through the glass made her a bit uncomfortable. It was like he was trying to undress her with his eyes. She frowned slightly, regretting letting Garrett go pick up lunch without her.

Matt Squire, the producer sat beside her, his fingers over the controls. He was a pretty quiet man except for when he tried to get more out of the boys. She was kind of impressed that he was able to tell John to stop "being a pussy" and sing it harder or something, and he'd just go along. Matt Squire was a very respected producer and the boys were lucky to be working with him. But Natalie was glad that she wasn't.

"Alright, John." He spoke into the microphone. "You wanna take a break?"

The singer smiled with a nod, taking off his headphones.

Natalie shifted uncomfortably as he joined them in the control room. He hovered over her, judging her artwork. She frowned, not even glancing at him before closing her notebook. He sighed deeply above her, placing a hand on her shoulder, which she shrugged off.

"Are you mad?" He asked quietly.

The redhead spun around to look at him. "What do you think?"

"Nat, come on-"

"Only Garrett, my boyfriend can call me Nat, John. Stop trying to start things."

She sighed, standing up, but John didn't move, so she couldn't go anywhere. Matt had excused himself to talk to the rest of the band who were somewhere else in the building. To be honest, Natalie had no clue what was going on, except that she really, really needed Garrett.

John gazed down at her, looking at her in a way that made her feel completely exposed. He brought a hand to her cheek, stroking and gazing into her ocean eyes.

"Natalie, baby, don't fight the feeling."

"The one of hate?" She scoffed. "God, John. If you don't respect me enough to stop, please don't do this to Garrett. I love him and I am not going to hurt him, but you're making this so-"

"You don't feel anything for me?" He pressed, with a raised brow.

"John-"

"Natalie, I know that you still feel something for me. I know, at the very least, you're attracted to me."

She sighed, not daring to deny or admit it.

"Come on, baby." He whispered.

Natalie didn't move, just stared at him. She was frozen, not because she wanted anything to do with him, but because she simply had no idea what to do. But John smiled softly at her as he leaned in closer. She tilted her face so that he caught her cheek, before sidestepping him. He sighed exasperatedly, frowning.

"I'm not doing this." She laughed darkly. "Go find another girl who's going to fall for your tricks, John Oh. I'm not that girl, and you can fuck off if you think I am." She rushed from the control room, not knowing where to go.

She wanted Garrett. She needed Garrett. She felt so terribly for putting him through all of this even if it wasn't intentional. All she wanted was to be held by him and comforted by him. John wasn't giving up and she didn't know why. But she was disgusted that she could even be attracted to someone like that. Garrett was one of his best friends, and he dared to try and get in the way? What kind of sick fuck did that?!

The small redhead ended up running into her boyfriend literally. He was quick to open his arms so that she could land against his chest, and he held her, his arms still full. Natalie whimpered softly in his arms, and he immediately regretting leaving her alone. Garrett didn't know what he was supposed to do. He and John had never been into the same girl, and John had never tried to steal his girlfriend. It was really strange and twisted, but he felt victorious.

"Baby?"

"He needs to stop, Gar. He tried to kiss me."

"Fucker!" Garrett sighed. "Do you want to go home? I think I should talk to him again."

"Garrett, I-"

"Just tell me what you want, Natalie. I'll do whatever."

She smiled softly, shaking her head. "Let's go eat at the boardwalk, okay? I just need to think a little more."

Garrett nodded with a small smile. "Okay, baby."