You're Living a Lie, You Just Can't Hide From Me

"Gar, I'm getting in the way of your band, and I refuse to do that." Natalie spoke quietly, picking at her fries from In and Out. Her eyes stayed on the food rather than meeting his azure stare in fear of the reaction she ultimately knew he'd have.

He sighed, not daring to argue with her. She had a point, if John couldn't keep it in his pants and continued to long after the bass player's girlfriend, there would be extreme problems. He didn't think that Natalie would cause so much of an issue, and he knew she didn't mean to.

She was supposed to be unattainable to the both of them, but seemingly, she'd been attained by both of them at some point but Garrett had held on tighter. He had promised to love her, not just for the next few weeks, but, well, forever. He said that he'd always love her.

"I think that I'm gonna take some time to myself..." She spoke quietly, taking a sip of her milkshake and bringing her knees to her chest.

"What?" He asked with wide eyes. "Nat, you can't just get scared when things get tough and-"

"And what?" Her voice had an edge to it he didn't recognize. "Garrett, I love you, and I always have, but... but I haven't had time to think or breathe or be alone for more than a couple hours since this all started."

"This all?" His tone was almost malicious.

She sighed. "Gar, please just let me explain myself."

The tightness of his jaw relaxed, though his eyes still held a sadness that she couldn't totally understand as he watched her. Garrett didn't know why, after so long of wanting to be together, now that they were, she was so ready to throw in the towel. He didn't understand why she was scared of being with him. He couldn't think of if he'd done something wrong.

"I, um... I sent in some of my art, like you suggested, and Otis wants me. They gave me a scholarship and they said I can start-" Natalie frowned. "I just... I thought maybe I could take a class, and you could focus on the band."

The copper haired boy sighed, nodding because he knew this was what she wanted, It would be selfish to not let her take the class. She was too talented to be held back anyway. Though he didn't think she needed school, he understood it was what she wanted.

Natalie had always been an academic person. She didn't understand a lot of things about human emotions or faith or love or life, but she understood school. She preferred facts and history than making her own path. She preferred reading about someone else's life than living her own. School was comfortable to her.

"So what does this mean for us?'

"The class is three hours... twice a week." She spoke quietly. "But I am also taking a drawing class on Wednesdays."

"Nat-"

"Garrett, you didn't come to LA for me. You came to record, so don't act like I matter more than your music does to you. You will always love your music more than you could ever love me or anybody else, and I'm okay with that. I don't claim to understand it, but I get it, and I need you to get that school and art... that's me."

He nodded slowly, though his eyes still held the sadness. He brought a hand to her cheek, stroking it gently. "I don't understand you, Nat, but you've got a point."

She leaned into his side, smiling softly. "I need to find out if art is right for me, Gar. If its just a hobby or if I actually could do this.... But y-you and the Maine.... you need to finish this CD, and make it amazing. Maybe if I'm around less, the tension will drop. I don't like getting in between you and the band and your music."

Garrett sighed, kissing the top of her head. "I guess it'll make it more of a special thing when we do see each other... you know?"

"Yeah. Two days without me and you'll miss me terribly." Natalie giggled. "Imagine how it'll be when you go back to Tempe."

He didn't answer. They'd never discussed anything beyond the summer. Sure, they'd said that they'd be together, but Tempe and LA were six hours apart. He couldn't ask her to return home to be with him and he couldn't ask the band to relocate to LA. Garrett didn't know if he'd be able to have a relationship with her if they were six hours apart. It would be even worse when the Maine went back on tour.

Natalie hadn't realized what she'd said until the words slipped out of her mouth. She was embarrassed and kind of scared to think beyond the fun they were currently having. She had wanted Garrett too long to give him up after a summer together, but she hadn't dared to bring it up before. She bit her tongue until now that the words had floated out of her mouth before she could stop them. It hadn't been intentional, but she had wondered about it to be honest.

"Nat," He began.

"I'm sorry." She spoke quietly. "I d-didn't mean to-"

"Its okay... we're going to have to talk about what happens next sometime."

"Not now." The redhead whispered, placing her hand in his. "I just want to enjoy the time we have together, Gar."

John sighed, listening back to his recording.

He couldn't focus. He couldn't think of anything except Natalie. He couldn't help himself even though she was with Garrett. Technically Garrett had her before John had even laid eyes on her anyway, but he wasn't willing to give up so easily. He was greedy and strongwilled, and John Oh always got the girl. He'd never even imagined that he and Garrett would fight over the same one before.

It was just... she wasn't like any girl he'd ever known before. She was smart, hell, she was more than smart... She was the type of girl who just... knew things. She was a hell of a lot smarter than he was, and she probably could see straight through him. Hell, Natalie probably knew what people said about him and what a reputation he'd left behind in Tempe. They'd been at the same parties, and he easily could have slept with her, but he would remember that encounter no matter how wasted he'd been.

A girl like Natalie was far too memorable to be a one night stand. He couldn't recall ever seeing her before the band had come to Tempe, but he must have been too busy with his lips attached to some other girl. Still, it left a bad taste in his mouth to think that she was disgusted by him and that she was angry. He couldn't help but be unable to give up on her. She was addictive.

"Are you alright?" Jared spoke finally, after realizing that John wasn't paying any attention.

The guitarist had known John since the sixth grade. They'd been together through all their ups and downs, but he'd never seen his friend so rattled. He didn't understand how this had happened or how Natalie had screwed him up so badly without trying. He didn't think she had even been capable of playing the games that John did. As far as he was concerned, she hadn't done more than lead him on, but he still continued to try to win her over.

"I know she wants Garrett, but I can't... I know there's something there, Jar. I can't act as if I want them to be together when I'm being selfish like this."

"John Oh..." His friend sighed. "Why can't you accept defeat?"

"I tried." The singer sighed. "God, Jar, I had her in her underwear, and I stopped because I knew she wanted Garrett... But I don't know why I can't... S-she's different than the others.... she's perfect."

"But you know she's not going to change her mind. Come on, man."

"She might." John spoke quietly. "And I'll be waiting."

The ginger haired boy frowned, shaking his head. He didn't know what else he could say or do to make John realize that he had lost. Natalie had gone to him expecting him to be like all the other boys, and he'd had her... until he gave her away. John had done the right thing by stepping aside, but he clearly wasn't okay with it because he had to have her back.

It was a selfish method mostly seen in young children over toys. Garrett had her first, though not really, and John had taken her next... Though he acted like he was okay with giving her away, he wasn't. He couldn't let go of the girl he felt this strongly about.

"John, she loves Garrett... There comes a point where you have to realize that she only has eyes for him. And I know it sucks for you to accept that, but you have to."

"I'm being a real asshole about this, aren't I?"

"Yeah. Maybe you and Gary should talk about it or something... You act like Tali is property, but she's a person, and she's made her decision. You had your chance and you let her go."

The singer sighed, shaking his head. "I fucked up."

Alyssa sighed. She'd barely talked to her best friend/roommate this week. Natalie had seemingly tuned out everyone. She wasn't answering calls and ignoring texts. She didn't check her voicemail and didn't tell anyone where she was going.

The older girl was kind of worried about her friend. Natalie would never harm herself, so it wasn't something that Alyssa thought had her in danger, but this isolation did bother her. It wasn't like her at all. Thinking that even Garrett wasn't getting through to Natalie made her wonder what was going on.

Natalie spent a lot of time drawing. More so than usual, the brunette noticed. She would leave with her sketchpad and a small pack of charcoal or art pencils, and she would spend the whole day wherever, probably drawing. It was just like the younger girl to block out everyone to focus on something academic. It was also something that she loved and was talented at.

This continued for several days before Alyssa had enough of it. Natalie was holed up in her room reading, when she came in. Without asking, she sat down beside the girl and waited for her to open up. Natalie placed her bookmark inside the book, putting it aside and sighing.

"Hey."

"I haven't talked to you in days and all I get is a 'hey?'"

"Sorry." The younger girl spoke softly.

"What's going on with you, Tals?"

She sighed. "I'm just so confused with everything... with John and Garrett and me... I thought maybe if I took some time to myself, I'd figure this out. I mean, I love my classes. I love the summer classes I'm taking, but its not... I haven't made any progress."

"Natalie, you can't distance yourself or run away when you're forced to deal with things you don't like."

The redhead nodded slowly, wrapping her arms around herself. "Alyssa, what am I supposed to do? Garrett is on edge because John won't give up. I'm frustrated because John saw me naked and Garrett doesn't seem to care... Actually, Garrett doesn't seem to WANT to see me naked-"

"WHAT?!"

The faint blush on her friend's face made Alyssa smile, but as Natalie quickly retold the events of the past couple of days, if not weeks, her smile dropped. Alyssa hadn't realized just how much pressure the two boys had put on Natalie.

John told her he'd step aside, and did for, like, a day, before deciding that he didn't want to give up on her. Garrett told her he loved her but doesn't seem to want to act on that love. Of course Natalie was so conflicted. She had every right to be frustrated and sad. These boys had no idea what she wanted and she didn't know what to do about it.

"I just don't want to get in the way of the band." Her blue eyes looked cloudy as if she was full of doubt.

"I don't think you will, Natalie. I just think you need to be honest and lay everything on the table."

"I haven't already?"

"Maybe you need to try again." Alyssa frowned. "I wish I had more advice for you, sweetie."

Natalie sighed, shaking her head.

"I just... I think Garrett is afraid, and John is overly eager. You just need to lay it all out, okay?"

"Okay."