You're Living a Lie, You Just Can't Hide From Me

Natalie sighed, trying to concentrate on her sketch, but she couldn't. She watched the couple in love sneak kisses and sweet nothings to one another and her heart panged as she thought of how she had basically been avoiding Garrett this past week or two.

She had thought that distancing herself would make things easier. He could focus on the band and she could focus on her art, but it wasn't working. All she wanted was to be in his arms right now, but she couldn't. No boy had ever affected her like Garrett Nickelsen and she was not happy that she was so weak.

"Hey." A soft voice called behind her and she spun around to see the boy who had plagued her thoughts.

Instead of answering, she just watched him, waiting for him to continue. Natalie wasn't sure what she was feeling and she didn't want to give the wrong message. She returned to her drawing and refused to look at him. That is until Garrett took it from her hands and sat down beside her.

"Nat, talk to me."

"How's recording going?"

"Great. But that wasn't what I wanted to talk about. Nat, why have you been so distant lately?"

"How'd you know I was here?"

Garrett smiled softly. "Because you always come here. You told me something about the boardwalk is calming to you... You people watch, and think... This is your getaway." He looked at her, seeing that she was finally looking at him. She looked so sad today and all he wanted was to hold her, but he wasn't sure if he should.

"Gar, I just thought that I was distracting you-"

"No. This isn't about that because you know that you weren't. This is about distancing yourself because of John and the fact that you don't want me to deal with the situation. You're so afraid of causing problems for me and for the band, and while I appreciate it, its not your concern. Nat, I love you and I've missed you badly. I know you want to take classes, and that's fine, but why are you hiding away from me?"

Natalie didn't know what to say. She allowed herself into his arms and inhaled his familiar scent. Garrett was right and she had missed him. It wasn't the same when she tried to fight how badly she needed him. He was right about everything and she hated to think that she hadn't been. The redhead had honestly thought that this would make things easier, but it had only made it harder.

He kissed the top of her head gently. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To get some take out and then back to your apartment."

She smiled. All she wanted to do was lay in his arms right now. No matter how she tried to fight it, Garrett was the only thing that ever felt right. Even her art didn't seem to matter as much as he did. It wasn't that she was giving things up for him, but she was worried. Talking about him leaving had forced her to distance herself.

She couldn't imagine what would happen when he left. Would they break up? Would everything between them turn to shit? Natalie had tried to focus on her art to forget that she was probably going to be heartbroken when the boys left. What about Alyssa and Kennedy? Her heart ached when she thought about all of the problems that would arise. Still, she didn't want to admit these fears to Garrett. It would make them real and then they'd have to face them.

The younger girl packed up her art supplies and her sketchbook quickly, gazing back at Garrett. He didn't seem worried at all and she wondered if he was even thinking about what she was. He was always so optimistic and happy, but she didn't understand how. Even this situation with John... Garrett wasn't eager to fix things or deal with them. He just wanted to go with the flow and it would work itself out. Natalie wasn't sure she liked his way of thinking, but she trusted him.

"Nat, you can talk to you, you know."

"I'm just really confused and lost right now, Gary. I don't know what to do."

"About what? About your classes? About us?"

She sighed. "Everything."

"We'll figure it out." He spoke, looking into her eyes. He hated seeing her upset, but he didn't understand what was troubling her. He didn't know if some topics were too hard for her to talk about and what was okay to discuss.

Even after being together for weeks, he wasn't sure he really understood Natalie. She kept so much behind her teeth and didn't dare to admit it. But Garrett wanted to know everything. He hated to think that she didn't trust him enough to tell him. He tried to be patient, but he didn't know when she would give in.

------------------------------

"I told John to back off." Garrett spoke quietly, his fingers tangled in her red hair.

"How did that go?"

The older boy chuckled. "Well, have you heard from him at all?"

Natalie thought about it and realized that she hadn't. Not a phone call or a text, and he hadn't been around at all. Still, for some reason, she didn't believe that it had just been talking that had caused John to leave her alone. Not that Garrett was a violent person, and even so, he wouldn't dare tell her, but she couldn't imagine that only words had convinced the gangly singer.

She sighed, burying her face in Garrett's chest. Natalie couldn't help that she was still afraid of giving her whole heart to him. She wanted to give him her body because she didn't feel as connected to it. She'd loved Garrett for so long, but that was from a distance. They didn't really know each other and she had never seemed to mind until now. Love didn't matter until she was actually experiencing it.

"I love you." He spoke quietly. "And I want to know everything about you. Let me in, Natalie."

"You don't want to know the things I've done, Garrett. I'm not a good person. I don't deserve to be held on this pedestal that you hold me on."

He frowned, stroking her cheek, moving her face to look up at him. "I don't think you're a bad person, Nat. And I don't care what you've done or who you've been with. All I know is that I want you and I love you."

"And you're going to leave me."

"Then come home with me." His voice was firm, his eyes hopeful.

"Y-you w-want me to come home?"

"Tempe is your home too, Natalie. Come back with me. We can be together."

She sighed, shaking her head. "I can't." She didn't know if she could ever return. She'd left her troubles there, and her family. There was so much in Tempe that Natalie didn't want to return to. She'd left for a reason and Garrett couldn't convince her to return. He didn't know half of the things that made her leave, and she wasn't strong enough to admit it.

"Nat-"

"When I left, I told myself there was no going back." Her voice was soft, her eyes looking anywhere but at him. She was ashamed and embarrassed, but mostly sad. Natalie couldn't dare tell him or admit what was wrong. She had made so many mistakes in Tempe and her reputation would still be there... She didn't want Garrett to know what she had become before she left.

"Not even for me?" He sounded broken. "I don't want to leave you, but I have to. Nat, I love you. I don't want to end this-"

"Then stay."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

Garrett kissed her softly, shaking his head. "The band is based in Tempe, Nat. I can't give up everything-"

"I know." She whispered.

He frowned, pulling her closer and inhaling her familiar perfume. He couldn't imagine leaving her, but the album was getting closer and closer to being finished. He didn't know if they could survive a long distance relationship. He couldn't figure out what the right thing to do was, so he remained silent.