You're Living a Lie, You Just Can't Hide From Me

“So, tell me something about you.” John spoke, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Like what?”

“Just anything. What are you doing in L.A.?”

“I came out here just to leave Tempe, but I’m not totally sure what I’m doing here. I deferred from UCLA because I don’t really know what I want.”

“Well, what do you want to be?”

Natalie looked down at the table, not knowing what to say. She had no idea what her plan was. The plan that her parents had set for her was the one she ran away from. What did she want for herself?

“Its okay to not know.”

The girl sighed. “I guess.”

John smiled softly.

“So what about you, Mr. Rockstar? You’ve always known you wanted to do music?”

“I’ve always loved music… I guess I didn’t really think much about it until Pat’s older brother, Tim, heard me sing and suggested me to Pat.” He paused. “I did a semester at ASU undeclared with no idea what I wanted to do, so when the band started up, I felt this feeling like…. This is what I should be doing, you know?”

Natalie nodded, taking a bite of her burger. “I want nothing more than to feel that.”

“I’m sure you’ll find it.”

He smiled, taking her hand across the table. This caused Natalie to blush, not used to the forward action. Still, it was really nice to hold his hand. It was a lot bigger than hers; making her feel smaller.

She was a really petite girl, but John made her feel even smaller. And it was kind of really nice… She liked the way that the simple gesture made her feel. The way that something so small and innocent could have such an impact on her, it was amazing.

Something about the older boy made her really comfortable. Still, it wasn't the comfort she felt with Garrett. Things with John were really, really different, and she wasn't sure which she liked better. With John, it wasn’t quite as natural, but it was nice.

He made her slightly nervous, and he was older, therefore she felt as if he had more to offer her. He was more mature, maybe, or more worldly. He knew things about the world that she was too young for. He made her feel so young and girlish, which was something she hadn’t felt since she was a pageant queen.

“So,” John smiled softly.

“So?”

“Can we consider this a date?” His smile widened and Natalie couldn’t help but smile as well.

“I didn’t know that it was." The redhead smiled softly.

"Well, I'm a guy, and you're a girl... and we're sharing a meal, which I intend to pay for..."

"Sounds like a date to me."

John grinned, taking the bill that their waitress had just placed on the table.

Natalie wasn't sure if she was happy that her first date was with John, but she could have done worse. He paid the bill, standing up and putting out a hand for her. She took it, and held onto his hand as they walked on the boardwalk.

"I don't mean to... be so forward, but Alyssa already sleeping at our apartment, do you want to stay over as well?"

"I'd really appreciate it. Yes, thank you."

John smiled as Natalie removed her shoes and pulled at her dress. He wanted to offer her clothes to sleep in, but he didn't want to disrupt Alyssa, who had taken his bed. He couldn't figure out where they were both supposed to sleep, but Natalie didn't seem to be bothered. He was hesitant to make a suggestion or say anything that might offend her.

For someone he’d just met, Natalie seemed like a girl he wanted to figure out, but he hadn’t yet. He needed to find the opportunity to do so. The hope was that he’d begin to unlock who she is during their date, but she seemed to shy away, instead interesting in keeping him talking. He wondered why it was such, but knew that she was complicated. It would take a while to get to know her, and he was anxious for more opportunities.

“Thank you again for dinner… or whatever that was considered.” She spoke shyly, not looking at him.

John smiled gently at her, nodding. “Thanks for going with me… and knowing where to go.”

“Of course…”

Natalie figured that she could sleep in the same bed as Alyssa if there was no other option. Not that she had partaken in many sleepovers as a kid, but Alyssa was her best friend and if they had to share a bed, so be it. She knew that Alyssa didn’t have any strange bed habits like drooling or hogging the sheets. After living with someone for a good couple months, you pick up on things.

John had slept in the same bed as any of the guys when they were on tour. They were all friends, nothing really mattered. He had tried to be chivalrous by giving up his bed, but was now hesitant about his options. He probably could get away with sleeping next to Jared better than anyone.

Natalie smiled softly at the tall boy as they stood in the kitchen, excusing herself, about to go to the room where her best friend was sleeping. But a pale light that was on in the next room stopped her. The door was also open the slightest bit, so she peeked in.

Garrett sat up in bed, writing something. Feeling oddly creepy, she knocked quietly, just enough for him to faintly whisper that she should come in. She crept into the room, taking her earlier place beside him on the bed, watching as he finished scrawling something into a notebook before closing it and placing it on the bedside table.

“Journal?” She asked quietly.

“I-its not really a journal… I draw and write a lot, so I keep a notebook around for whenever I feel inspired.”

Natalie smiled softly, nodding.

She began to wonder what he wrote about. As far as she knew, John was the band’s official lyricist. Maybe Garrett wrote poetry… maybe he wrote his own songs… And what about his artwork?

She’d always seen him doodling during class. She’d always known he was artistic, but this was a bit more than she’d expected from him. She was curious to see what he’d written and drawn, but it was his private notebook and she wouldn’t dare ask.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

He shook his head. “Did you just get back from the beach?”

“Uh, no. John came by and we got something to eat.”

“Oh.” If Natalie had been aware enough, she would have been able to detect the sadness in his tone, but she hadn’t.

“It wasn’t a big deal.” The girl spoke, lying on her side.

This caused Garrett’s mood to shift slightly. He was happier just at her words. Girls always fell for John, maybe this time he’d be able to win her. Maybe Natalie would fall for him and John would get over himself. It was something the bassist never totally understood. Why did every girl want the singer? Or the guitarist, or the drummer, but never the bass player?

"Do you want some clothes to sleep in?"

She nodded. "If its no trouble."

"Its okay." He smiled softly, moving to the dresser and grabbing the first pair of boxers and t-shirt he could find, handing them to her and showing her the bathroom where she could change.

When Natalie reappeared, he had to stop his jaw from dropping. She looked incredible in his clothes, especially with the way it was a bit big on her. Even though it hid her shape, he could tell that she had a nice body beneath the clothes. She thanked him, smiling softly and placing her own clothes ontop of the dresser and making her way to the bed, lying beside him.

He could tell that Natalie was different. They lay together, discussing George Romero movies and tactics to save the world during a zombie apocalypse, struggling to stay awake. All other girls called his interests with zombies and horror films stupid and immature, but Natalie was genuinely interested. She’d read World War Z, and she’d considered the obstacles of a zombie invasion. She was just as messed up as Garrett was.

Garrett couldn’t believe it himself. The fact that this girl was real and that she was even better than he’d imagined her to be. She was basically his dreamgirl, it was a bit too much to be this close to her. He didn’t understand how she’d never been like this in high school. How had a couple months and a change of hair color as well as area code changed her so?

And just as before, she fell asleep beside him. The way she curled her body made her seem even smaller. The bed was meant for one person, but she was barely touching him. Garrett was practically afraid to touch her; to be too forward. John would have. John would have pulled her body against his and wrapped his arms around her, but Garrett couldn't do that.

He wasn't like that... and maybe that was a problem.

Natalie woke up early, unsure exactly of the time, but Kennedy was awake in the next bed. He gave her a questioning look and she glanced over to where Garrett was still asleep beside her. He must have thought the worst. That they'd slept together while he was asleep beside them. And they had, but only in the literal sense.

She blushed, not able to meet his gaze.

Kennedy got out of bed, shooting her a small smile before making his way to the bathroom.

She moved even further from Garrett, still feeling unable to do much else.

Garrett let out a sigh in his sleep, maybe more of a groan.

Kennedy returned moments later, as Natalie was sitting up in bed. He paused before her, gazing at her with kind eyes before smiling again. She returned the small smile, unable to read what the guitarist's expression meant.

"Coffee?" He spoke quietly.

Natalie nodded. "I'd like that."

The redhead moved from the bed, following Kennedy to the kitchen where he had started a pot of coffee. She smiled, taking a seat at the bar and accepting the mug of warm coffee that he'd placed before her.

"Thanks Kenny."

He nodded as if to say that she was welcome. He offered her some milk and sugar, which she took, fixing the coffee to her liking and taking a sip. She smiled, inhaling the familiar scent.

Kennedy sat beside her, glancing at her sideways. "You and Garrett?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You guys seem close." He spoke, waiting for her to react.

"We're not close... we went to high school together."

"No, I mean..."

She didn't know what he was implying. Sure, she and Garrett had slept beside each other and they had several things in common, but in no way were they close. They'd probably spoken once in their own high school career together. And now they were slowly becoming friendly with each other, but they were not close by any means.

"Ever since things didn't work out with Rachael, he's been miserable... but you seem to make him happy, Natalie."

The redhead bit her inner lip. "He makes me happy too."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Natalie raised an eyebrow, unsure of what she was supposed to say or do. What was Kennedy suggesting? What was all of this amounting to? She didn't have much experience reading people, nor did she know the boy enough to understand.

She didn't say anything, just took another sip of her coffee.

"Look, all I'm saying is, he just had his heart broken... just be careful with him."

"O-ok." That was all the girl could say.