‹ Prequel: Life on the *** Scene
Status: The final chapter.
The End
Desert Song
Honestly, I was terrified. Probably more terrified than she was. Marriage was a big thing. Did she know what she was getting into? I mean, was this guy right for her? I definitely believed that he wasn't that special, not good enough for my little girl. No one was good enough for my little girl.
It had been maybe twenty minutes after all the guests had entered the church. I had been standing in the same place that I was now, nervously tapping my foot and smiling weakly at everyone who passed. Gerard and the guys had gave me encouraging pats on the back, but they hadn't helped very much. I still felt like I was going to puke. I could only imagine how nervous she was.
I glanced towards the church and saw Clayah, Gerard's wonderful baby sister, lining up the bride's maids. She made sure they looked perfect, then took her place at the front of the line as the Maid of Honor. I watched as the best man stepped in front of the line of groom's men. The groom was barely on time, practically sprinting up to his place behind the procession, taking a quick moment to make sure his bright orange hair wasn't too messed up as the others coupled up and started their walk down the aisle.
Only seconds later Bandit ran past me, flowers flying out of her wicker basket, to start the bride's march in. She looked adorable in her white dress with the purple sash, orchids braided into her long hair.
And then it hit me. Where was she? Where was the bride?
“Dad! Are they all inside?”
I looked up and smiled. There she was. And she looked gorgeous. Her white dress billowed out behind her and her hair was piled perfectly at the back of her head, silver hair pins shining in the sunlight. She looked like a god damn princess.
“Yeah, everyone's inside. Are you ready for this Mollers?”
“Definitely.”
I grinned at her warm smile. God I would miss seeing that smile every day. She linked her arm through mine and we walked to our place in front of the doors. A few seconds later they swung open and we began our march down the aisle.
And what should've been at least twelve feet only felt like twelve inches and I was being asked to give my baby away.
“Do you give away this woman?” the priest was asking. I looked at her. She was my little girl. My Kayla. My Mollers. And now she was going to be his. This was too unfair. In my head I was screaming NO! I'VE ONLY HAD HER FOR NINE YEARS, I NEED MORE TIME! But I couldn't keep her from being happy, I couldn't do that to her.
“Yes, I do.”
She squeezed my arm, then let go. I took my seat next to Gerard, she took her place next to orange hair at the altar and looked at him like the universe revolved around his eyes. He was giving her the exact same look.
The whole thing was insanely slow. I wanted something to do. Something to play with. I fiddled with my tie for a bit until Gerard grabbed my hand to make me stop. He motioned with his eyes towards Bandit, who was only feet away and sitting as still as a statue, something beyond unnatural, as if to say Even my nine year old daughter is being more respectful than you are. And still the priest continued to drone on and on. I glanced towards my daughter, and even though Molly was smiling I could tell she was as impatient as I was.
And then he finally said it.
“Do you, Jackamo Sawyer, take Molly Iero as your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do.”
“Do you, Molly Iero, take Jackamo Sawyer to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do.”
Those crazy kids barely waited for the priest to pronounce them man and wife and tell them to kiss. They kissed like real, married people. They were almost as bad as Mikey and Alicia when they got married. But Mollers knew when to stop. She pulled away from him slowly and they grinned at each other like they had some big secret, which they probably did for all I knew. Then they were passed from friends to family members until they reached me.
I held my girl close. I didn't want to let her go. It would mean losing her to him forever. But I had do.
I shook Jack's hand, accepting him as my son-in-law for the first time. They smiled at me, and I smiled back, then they were out the door and jumping into their car to go to the reception.
********
“I'd like to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Sawyer!”
Everyone cheered as they walked into the building, hand-in-hand.
“Now everyone clear the dance floor, it's time for their first dance.”
Gerard, Ray and I climbed onto the stage with our guitars. This had been Molly's one request that she felt needed to be fulfilled. She had insisted that we play their wedding dance, and I was never one to deny Mollers anything she wanted. I strummed lightly along with Ray, rocking slightly with the rhythm of the song.
We hold in our hearts the sword and the faith. Swelled up from the rain, clouds move like a wraith...
Some people might've found it strange that the happy couple were dancing to Desert Song. But anyone could see that it was perfect for them. To them, the words weren't about sadness or death, they were about loving each other until they died. And that reassured me that Jack wouldn't hurt my Mollers in any way.
They were mouthing the words to each other, turning gracefully in the middle of the floor. I'd never seen the two look happier.
Did we all fall down? Did we all...
That was my cue. I set down my guitar gently and let Ray fend for himself. I stepped carefully onto the dance floor, flawlessly cutting in on their dance and leading the segway into the father-daughter dance. As the other fathers and daughters joined us, we smiled at each other like two idiots. We seemed to spin there forever, and I even caught a glimpse of Gerard holding onto Bandit's hand and letting her spin like a ballerina.
After that dance the night seemed to fly past. Rush and Ruin, Clayah's band, stepped in after the first two dances and insisted on playing all of their favorites. I sat at a table with the guys and watched as Molly danced with all of her friends and the smaller kids danced in circles around everyone else. All of the sudden I was kissing her and telling her I love her and clapping Jack on the back before they disappeared into the car that would take them to the air port so they wouldn't miss their flight.
And when they were gone, I found myself crying. Crying like the day that I first met Molly. She was only mine for nine years. Nine years! It wasn't fair! I wanted more time with her. Nine years definitely wasn't enough.
Gerard placed the hand that wasn't holding a sleeping Bandit to his chest on my shoulder and spoke as if he was reading my fucking mind.
“She'll always be your little girl, Frankie.”
********
A year passed.
I was turning thirty-eight in...three weeks? Jesus, that was fast. This tour would make the space of that time go by in a flash. Halloween would come and go and I would be one year closer to forty.
Not that forty was a bad thing. Gerard was over forty. It was just that it never seemed like forty would be so close to me while still in My Chemical Romance. I felt like I would stay a young, healthy twenty-eight year-old for the rest of the time I was in the band, like time would stop but we would go on and continue rocking the world as our young selves.
We were in the middle of a show, right as we were finishing Demolition Lovers. The crowd screamed as I went to grab a bottle of water from one of the amps. Gerard spoke to the crowd that somehow still loved us after all these years.
“HELLOOOO NEW YORK! How you doin'?”
The crowd roared in response.
“Well, fuck yeah! Now we're gonna play-Wait, what's this? When did we become a sign band? Since when have we become a boy band in the '90s?”
I turned around and saw a large, white piece of poster board floating above the sea of people.
“What the fuck does that say? 'Frank Iero...' Guys, for the love of fuck, stop moving! I'm trying to read!”
I noticed the crowd stop moving as I turned my attention to my guitar. Some idiot techie had fucked up the tuning, so now I had to fix it.
“Okay, so...'Frank Iero is gonna be'...HOLY FUCK FRANKIE! YOU'RE GONNA BE A GRANDPA!”
My head shot up and I saw what the sign said.
Frank Iero is going to be the best grandfather ever!
I didn't even wait for Gerard to part the crowd. I threw down the guitar and was in the crowd in a matter of thirty seconds. People immediately moved out of my way as I surged towards the sign holder.
There she was, climbing down off his shoulders, all smiles. I pulled her into my arms and refused to let her go. Jack stood a respectful foot away while my daughter and I had a moment. And suddenly, for some reason, I was afraid.
“What if it doesn't like me, Mollers?”
“Are you kidding me? Dad, it'll grow up on Three Cheers. It'll be the leader of the Black Parade. I will guarantee that the first words to come out of its mouth will be 'vampires will never hurt you.' You're its grandfather. It won't like you. It'll love you. Just like I do.”
It had been maybe twenty minutes after all the guests had entered the church. I had been standing in the same place that I was now, nervously tapping my foot and smiling weakly at everyone who passed. Gerard and the guys had gave me encouraging pats on the back, but they hadn't helped very much. I still felt like I was going to puke. I could only imagine how nervous she was.
I glanced towards the church and saw Clayah, Gerard's wonderful baby sister, lining up the bride's maids. She made sure they looked perfect, then took her place at the front of the line as the Maid of Honor. I watched as the best man stepped in front of the line of groom's men. The groom was barely on time, practically sprinting up to his place behind the procession, taking a quick moment to make sure his bright orange hair wasn't too messed up as the others coupled up and started their walk down the aisle.
Only seconds later Bandit ran past me, flowers flying out of her wicker basket, to start the bride's march in. She looked adorable in her white dress with the purple sash, orchids braided into her long hair.
And then it hit me. Where was she? Where was the bride?
“Dad! Are they all inside?”
I looked up and smiled. There she was. And she looked gorgeous. Her white dress billowed out behind her and her hair was piled perfectly at the back of her head, silver hair pins shining in the sunlight. She looked like a god damn princess.
“Yeah, everyone's inside. Are you ready for this Mollers?”
“Definitely.”
I grinned at her warm smile. God I would miss seeing that smile every day. She linked her arm through mine and we walked to our place in front of the doors. A few seconds later they swung open and we began our march down the aisle.
And what should've been at least twelve feet only felt like twelve inches and I was being asked to give my baby away.
“Do you give away this woman?” the priest was asking. I looked at her. She was my little girl. My Kayla. My Mollers. And now she was going to be his. This was too unfair. In my head I was screaming NO! I'VE ONLY HAD HER FOR NINE YEARS, I NEED MORE TIME! But I couldn't keep her from being happy, I couldn't do that to her.
“Yes, I do.”
She squeezed my arm, then let go. I took my seat next to Gerard, she took her place next to orange hair at the altar and looked at him like the universe revolved around his eyes. He was giving her the exact same look.
The whole thing was insanely slow. I wanted something to do. Something to play with. I fiddled with my tie for a bit until Gerard grabbed my hand to make me stop. He motioned with his eyes towards Bandit, who was only feet away and sitting as still as a statue, something beyond unnatural, as if to say Even my nine year old daughter is being more respectful than you are. And still the priest continued to drone on and on. I glanced towards my daughter, and even though Molly was smiling I could tell she was as impatient as I was.
And then he finally said it.
“Do you, Jackamo Sawyer, take Molly Iero as your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do.”
“Do you, Molly Iero, take Jackamo Sawyer to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do.”
Those crazy kids barely waited for the priest to pronounce them man and wife and tell them to kiss. They kissed like real, married people. They were almost as bad as Mikey and Alicia when they got married. But Mollers knew when to stop. She pulled away from him slowly and they grinned at each other like they had some big secret, which they probably did for all I knew. Then they were passed from friends to family members until they reached me.
I held my girl close. I didn't want to let her go. It would mean losing her to him forever. But I had do.
I shook Jack's hand, accepting him as my son-in-law for the first time. They smiled at me, and I smiled back, then they were out the door and jumping into their car to go to the reception.
********
“I'd like to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Sawyer!”
Everyone cheered as they walked into the building, hand-in-hand.
“Now everyone clear the dance floor, it's time for their first dance.”
Gerard, Ray and I climbed onto the stage with our guitars. This had been Molly's one request that she felt needed to be fulfilled. She had insisted that we play their wedding dance, and I was never one to deny Mollers anything she wanted. I strummed lightly along with Ray, rocking slightly with the rhythm of the song.
We hold in our hearts the sword and the faith. Swelled up from the rain, clouds move like a wraith...
Some people might've found it strange that the happy couple were dancing to Desert Song. But anyone could see that it was perfect for them. To them, the words weren't about sadness or death, they were about loving each other until they died. And that reassured me that Jack wouldn't hurt my Mollers in any way.
They were mouthing the words to each other, turning gracefully in the middle of the floor. I'd never seen the two look happier.
Did we all fall down? Did we all...
That was my cue. I set down my guitar gently and let Ray fend for himself. I stepped carefully onto the dance floor, flawlessly cutting in on their dance and leading the segway into the father-daughter dance. As the other fathers and daughters joined us, we smiled at each other like two idiots. We seemed to spin there forever, and I even caught a glimpse of Gerard holding onto Bandit's hand and letting her spin like a ballerina.
After that dance the night seemed to fly past. Rush and Ruin, Clayah's band, stepped in after the first two dances and insisted on playing all of their favorites. I sat at a table with the guys and watched as Molly danced with all of her friends and the smaller kids danced in circles around everyone else. All of the sudden I was kissing her and telling her I love her and clapping Jack on the back before they disappeared into the car that would take them to the air port so they wouldn't miss their flight.
And when they were gone, I found myself crying. Crying like the day that I first met Molly. She was only mine for nine years. Nine years! It wasn't fair! I wanted more time with her. Nine years definitely wasn't enough.
Gerard placed the hand that wasn't holding a sleeping Bandit to his chest on my shoulder and spoke as if he was reading my fucking mind.
“She'll always be your little girl, Frankie.”
********
A year passed.
I was turning thirty-eight in...three weeks? Jesus, that was fast. This tour would make the space of that time go by in a flash. Halloween would come and go and I would be one year closer to forty.
Not that forty was a bad thing. Gerard was over forty. It was just that it never seemed like forty would be so close to me while still in My Chemical Romance. I felt like I would stay a young, healthy twenty-eight year-old for the rest of the time I was in the band, like time would stop but we would go on and continue rocking the world as our young selves.
We were in the middle of a show, right as we were finishing Demolition Lovers. The crowd screamed as I went to grab a bottle of water from one of the amps. Gerard spoke to the crowd that somehow still loved us after all these years.
“HELLOOOO NEW YORK! How you doin'?”
The crowd roared in response.
“Well, fuck yeah! Now we're gonna play-Wait, what's this? When did we become a sign band? Since when have we become a boy band in the '90s?”
I turned around and saw a large, white piece of poster board floating above the sea of people.
“What the fuck does that say? 'Frank Iero...' Guys, for the love of fuck, stop moving! I'm trying to read!”
I noticed the crowd stop moving as I turned my attention to my guitar. Some idiot techie had fucked up the tuning, so now I had to fix it.
“Okay, so...'Frank Iero is gonna be'...HOLY FUCK FRANKIE! YOU'RE GONNA BE A GRANDPA!”
My head shot up and I saw what the sign said.
Frank Iero is going to be the best grandfather ever!
I didn't even wait for Gerard to part the crowd. I threw down the guitar and was in the crowd in a matter of thirty seconds. People immediately moved out of my way as I surged towards the sign holder.
There she was, climbing down off his shoulders, all smiles. I pulled her into my arms and refused to let her go. Jack stood a respectful foot away while my daughter and I had a moment. And suddenly, for some reason, I was afraid.
“What if it doesn't like me, Mollers?”
“Are you kidding me? Dad, it'll grow up on Three Cheers. It'll be the leader of the Black Parade. I will guarantee that the first words to come out of its mouth will be 'vampires will never hurt you.' You're its grandfather. It won't like you. It'll love you. Just like I do.”