Hyacinth

Day 1

I hate how I loved him. I also hate how he hit me with his freakin car! Yeah, that's right. He hit me with his car. Unintentionally, of course though. I was just peacefully driving home in my old, small car and BAM! There he was. His range rover smashed into my car. For some apparent reason, he decided to run a red light. Jackass...

So this brings me here. Here I am, in a hospital bed, where I had just awoken up from being in a coma for a month. A month! When I woke up, the light blinded me for a few seconds. I heard a gasp and felt arms wrap around me. I tried shooing them off, but I didn't have enough strength at the moment. So I settled to being hugged until I almost ran out of air.

"Okay, mom! I get it! Let go of me! I can't breath!" I squealed out. I squealed from the lack of oxygen going through my lungs.

"Oh, I'm sorry, honey!" my mom said as she drew back.

"What happened?" I questioned.

"Well..." my mother started fidgeting. "You were in a car accident." I nodded slowly. "And you've been in a coma for a month." I nodded slowly again.

"I see..." I started. "Can you pass me that lamp over there?" I asked. She stared at me for a few seconds and then she actually unplugged the lamp on the bedside table next to me and handed it to me. How dumb...

I threw the lamp across the room, making it shatter into pieces.

"Honey!" my mom screeched.

"Who. Hit. Me?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Well..." my mom started, looking away from me.

"Who?!" I asked a bit more fiercely.

"Alex Layton..." she sighed out.

I clenched and unclenched my fists. Are you kidding me?! The guy I was practically in love with hit me with his freakin car?!

"Where. Is. He. Now?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"I think he's on his way over here right now. Please Leah, don't get angry at him. He's been visiting you ever since the accident." I scoffed at that. Yeah, right!

"I highly doubt that." Just as I said that, the door opened to reveal none other than Alex Layton, my crush of a year. Also the person who hit me with his car, resulting me in being in a coma for a month! Oh joy...

"You!" I yelled, pointing at him.

"Y-you're awake!" he exclaimed.

"Damn straight I'm awake!" I yelled at him. He rushed over to my side and gripped my hand. I shooed him off. He looked shocked to say the least. "Let go of me!" I exclaimed, shoving at his chest.

"W-why?" he stuttered.

"Mom! Tell him to leave!" I whined to her. She shook her head.

"Honey, just hear him out."

"Never!" I whined again.

"Leah-" my mom started.

"Fine then! Jeez! Then let me speak with him then. Alone." I put emphasize on the word 'alone'.

"Okay, honey. But speak with him, not yell at him," she said. I stared at her for a second or two.

"...I can't promise you anything," I finally replied. She rolled her eyes, but left the room. As soon as she was gone, Alex grabbed my hand again. I looked at his hand in distaste. "Didn't I tell you to let go of me?!" I seethed.

"Oh right..." Alex said as he quickly let of my hand and stepped back.

"You hit me with your car," I stated as calmly as I could.

"Yes, I did," he confirmed.

"Well?" I prompted.

"Well, what?" he asked me, a clueless look on his face.

"Apologize, damn it!" I ordered him, raising my voice slightly.

"Oh! Right! I'm so sorry for hitting you with my car! I didn't mean to!" he exclaimed.

"Riiiight..." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Really, I didn't mean to."

"Why did you even run a red light anyways?" I seethed.

"Well..." he started, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "It's kind of embarrassing..." he said, tracing circles on the floor with the tip of his foot. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you serious?! You freakin hit me with your car because you ran a red light, and you won't even freakin tell me why you ran that red light in the first place?!" I practically yelled at him.

"Okay, fine! I... I was rushing to get flowers for this girl I liked..." Alex blushed, looking away. I furrowed my eyebrows in pain. He was rushing to get flowers for a girl he liked?

"That's the reason?" I asked softly as I looked down at my hands folded together in front of me. From the corner of my eye, I saw him nod. "Get out," I said harshly. I hid my pain with my anger. "Get out!" I yelled, facing him. "You don't deserve to be in here!"

"And why the hell not?!" he retorted defensively.

"Hmm... I don't know. Maybe because you hit me with your car, just to get some girl you liked some damn flowers!" I yelled.

"She isn't just some girl..." I heard him mutter.

"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously. Alex was looking down at his feet, clenching his hands in fists.

"She isn't just some girl!" he yelled, looking up to face me. I stared at him in shock. He looked upset that I called the girl he liked 'some girl'. "I love her..." he said softly, looking me straight in the eyes. It seemed as if he was silently confessing to the girl he loved. And it seemed as if that girl he loved was... me. I opened my mouth to say something, but then quickly closed it. I had nothing to say. Alex's eyes widened, before he turned around and quickly left my hospital room. But I didn't miss the small blush that crept up his face before he did leave.

I slowly sunk down into my bed and laid down. I stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before I turned onto my side, facing the wall. I heard the door open and footsteps walk into the room. I knew who it was.

"I don't want any visitors tomorrow, mom." I said to her softly.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied. I felt a few tears escape my eyes.

Day 2

The next day, I awoke to see Alex sitting in the chair next to my bed, staring at me intently.

"Mom! What the hell?!" I yelled, turning to the couch in front of me where she sat. "I told you I didn't want any visitors!"

"He insisted to see you," she simply said, not looking up from the magazine she was reading. I scoffed. I turned to him.

"Leave," I said. He smiled slightly.

"Nope," he replied. I grunted and folded my arms across my chest.

"I don't want to see your face," I said to him.

Lies.

I thought to myself. The truth was, I did want to see his face. All the freakin time. Ugh...

"So? I'm here whether you like it or not," he retorted.

"Shouldn't you be with that one girl you like? Or did she flat-out reject you already?" I said coldly.

He smiled. "She's being stubborn," he replied. I scoffed again.

"Mom," I said, turning my attention onto her.

"Hm?" she responded, not looking up from the magazine.

"Did you get the book I asked you for before I ended up here?" I gritted out the last word, glaring at Alex.

"Uh... No, honey, but-" she started.

"What?!" I screeched out. "I've wanted that book for forever..." I muttered, pouting slightly.

"She didn't get it, because I got it for you instead," Alex said, pulling something out of his school bag. He held it out for me to take. I gaped at him as I slowly reached my hand out and took the book out of his hands.

"T-thanks..." I stuttered. He smiled at me.

"No problem," he replied.

"But why did you get this book for me?" I asked him. He smiled at me again and I felt my stomach fill with butterflies.

"I feel terrible about hitting you with my car. The least I could do was buy you the book you wanted," he explained. I glared at him.

"Humph..." I turned away, crossing my arms.

"Oh, come on, I'm sorry," he said, leaning closer to my bed. "Can't you forgive me already?" he asked me.

"Psh! Yeah right!" I turned away from him.

"I'll be here every single day until you forgive me," he stated, leaning back into his chair.

"Why do you want me to forgive you so bad anyways?" I asked. He smiled again for what seemed like the millionth time today.

"I told you already. I feel terrible," he said. I rolled my eyes and flipped to the first page of the book.

Day 3

I began to think of the first time I saw Alex. A bit over a year ago, I met him in the library. I was looking at a book for one of my classes and accidentally bumped into him on my way to sitting down at a library table. I dropped the book I was holding and I nearly fell down completely. He picked up my book and handed it back to me. Ever since then, I'd see him every so often and we'd talk occasionally.

Today, he bought me a grande caramel frappaccino - he somehow knew that was my favorite Starbucks drink - and a 'I'm sorry' card. I read the card as I sipped my coffee. It pretty much explained why he needed my forgiveness. The card said that he felt immensely terrible about the accident. It said that he really didn't mean to hit me. And as a side note on the card, it read, 'I'm really sorry! Please forgive me! If you forgive me, I can finally confess to the girl I was rushing to get flowers for on that day. If you don't forgive me, I might never get a chance with her. Please, I'm begging you.' And then there was a sad face at the end. I gritted my teeth and threw the card across the room in pain and anger.

Luckily, he left before I did that. I felt like crying after I read the card. I mean, he wanted my forgiveness, because he felt guilty; I understand that. But he partly wanted my forgiveness as well so he could confess to the girl he liked. Should I be happy about that?! No! That lucky bitch...

Day 4

I woke up today to see Alex in my hospital room again. Surprise, surprise... Note the sarcasm.

"Do you have to be the first thing I see when I wake up everyday?" I muttered angrily, pulling my down blanket a bit. He grinned at me as he stopped pacing the floor in front of me.

"Yes," he replied, the grin still plastered across his face. I grunted. "You know you love to see my face when you first wake up," he said as he winked at me. I rolled my eyes.

It's true.

I thought to myself. I shook my head to get rid of that thought. "Where's my mom?" I asked him, looking around the room, noticing she wasn't here.

"She said she was heading off to work about an hour ago," he explained.

"Oh..." I said, grabbing the book that Alex got me. I opened to the page I left off from yesterday.

"Oh, and I got this for you," he said as he pulled something out of his backpack.

"Fruit cups?" I asked in surprise as he handed me a four-pack of fruit cups. He smiled at me.

"Your mom told me that you loved those," he explained. He was right; I did love those.

"Thanks..." I muttered. He smiled.

"No problem," he said. Just as I was about to continue reading the book, Alex began to speak. "Listen," he started. I glanced up at him from my book. "I'm begging you..." he pleaded. I slowly lowered the book onto my lap.

"Why?" I asked him. "What's so special about that girl that you're begging me for my forgiveness for?"

"She..." he started. He sighed and unceremoniously plopped down onto the chair next to my bed. "She's amazing," he sighed out dreamily. I felt a pang at my heart.

"And?" I prompted. He glanced at me quickly before he looked away and continued.

"She's beautiful. She's smart. She's nice. She's funny," Alex listed. He just listed everything I'm not. Well... except for the funny part. I'm funny. Right...?

I sighed. "You really love her, don't you?" I asked him. He looked towards me and smiled wide.

"Yeah," he replied. I looked away from him and stared at the wall to my other side.

"Will you forgive me?" I could hear the desperation in his voice. I flipped open the book and lifted it up to eye level.

"...No," I said. He sighed heavily and stood up.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he said in disappointment.

"Mmhmm..." I replied, not bothering to look up from the book.

"Leah?" he called out just before he left.

"What?" I asked nonchalantly.

"You're my only hope to be with this girl. Please..." His voice pained me to hear it. I didn't reply. I mean, how could I? What would I say? What could I say? I heard another sigh escape from him before he left.

I set down the book in front of me. What was he doing to me? Why was he making me feel like this? I clutched my stomach.

"Go. Away. You. Stupid. Butterflies," I gritted out. I flopped down into my bed. "Why are you doing this to me, Alex Layton? Why do make my heart flutter when you're near me? Why do you make me feel so horrible when you mention her? Why, why, why?!" I called out to the ceiling, trying to not raise my voice any louder than a whisper. "Why?" I said one last time before I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

Day 5

"Leah, are you okay? Your eyes are red and puffy," Alex said as soon he saw me the next day.

"Good morning to you too, Alex," I said sarcastically.

"Oh sorry, it's just... Are you okay, Leah?" he asked me again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't get much sleep last night," I lied. Truth was, I cried myself to sleep last night.

"You sure? Because it really looks like you cried yourself to sleep..." he trailed off.

How did he know? Was it that obvious? Am I that transparent?

I thought to myself. "Yeah, I'm sure. And why the hell would I cry myself to sleep?!" I snapped.

"I-i don't know... You tell me..." he muttered. I rolled my eyes. Alex coughed nervously. "Anyways, I bought something for you," he said, finally showing me the small shopping bag he hid behind his back.

"Oh joy..." I cheered sarcastically.

"Ha-ha..." Alex replied dryly. "I thought you might like it..." he said. He placed the bag on my lap.

"What is it?" I asked, peering into it slightly.

"Why don't you find out?" he said with a smile. I looked at him suspiciously for a second or two, before I finally reached my hand into the bag and took out whatever was in the bag.

"It's a teddy bear," I stated. It was a light brown teddy bear with a red bow tie around it's neck.

"Yes, it is," he said with a chuckle.

"It's cute," I said with a small smile.

"Is that a smile I see?" Alex said teasingly. I quickly replaced the smile with a frown.

"No!" I exclaimed.

"It was!" he accused, pointing his index finger in my face.

"No, it wasn't!" I said, looking away from him. I blushed. He laughed.

"Don't be ashamed to smile," he said as I slowly turned back to face him. He had his usual playful smile plastered on his face.

"I'm not ashamed to smile. I'm just angry at you still," I murmured. He sighed, the smile wiped off his face. He ran his hands threw his dark brown shaggy hair as he replied.

"I know."

Day 6

Alex stood by his word. He came to the hospital every day, practically begging me for my forgiveness. Each day, my anger would fade slightly and then I would remind myself why he ran that red light, and then I would get angry again. And each day, despite my anger and mood swings, he would come and visit me everyday, bearing gifts. Just like that teddy bear yesterday. I hugged that teddy bear like there was no tomorrow. I even slept with it in my arms. As soon as I woke up though, I stuffed it back into the shopping bag before Alex showed up. I didn't want him to see me like that. I was still angry at him, remember? If he saw me cuddling something he got for me, he wouldn't forget it. Ever.

Today, like always, he came into my room, a big, fat smile on his face.

"Good afternoon, Leah!" he exclaimed as soon as he saw me.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked him, closing the book he bought for me and setting it aside on the table next to my bed. I was about a quarter into it.

"I had an amazing dream last night!" he smiled brightly.

"Do I want to know?" I asked. He nodded energetically. I sighed. "Fine. What was it about?" I asked in a monotone voice.

"It was about her," he grinned. My jaw dropped. I quickly composed myself.

"I don't think I want to hear it," I said, voicing one of my thoughts. I had so much thoughts already running through my mind.

He dreamt about her...? Her?! Does he have any idea how he's making me feel right now? Can't he tell that I don't want to hear about her? Can't he tell he's hurting me?

So much more thoughts whirled through my head. I started to get slightly dizzy.

"Oh, come on. It's not that bad," Alex said. "She and I were holding hands," he began to tell me his dream. It seemed to be a silent agreement between the two of us that he wouldn't tell me her name. It was a good thing too. Because if I ever did find out her name, I would have probably killed her. Or worse, I would have found her, and then cried and begged for her to let me have him instead of her. I almost cringed at the thought of me crying and begging in front of this girl. The thing I only really heard about his dream was the first sentence he said and the last sentence he said. That was all I needed to hear though. "...Then we both leaned in and... you know..." he trailed off, blushing slightly.

"I didn't need to know that," I said, brushing my hair out of my eyes. "Too bad it was only a dream though," I said, completely crushing his hopes. I saw his happy eyes turn sad.

"Why do you have to crush my hopes?" he asked me. His tone wasn't angry, it was... curious.

I shrugged. "It's fun?" I offered. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Leah..." he began. He pulled his chair closer to my bed. He hesitantly reached his hands towards mine. I almost fainted as his warm hand closed over mine. "I beg you, please forgive me..." I sighed.

"I..." I started. "No," I said, moving my hand away from his. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"You know, just because you're angry at me doesn't mean you can't laugh or smile," he stated, standing up and walking around my bed to look out the window. I didn't bother to reply. He was right. This wasn't like me. I was always the happy, jumpy type. I would laugh and smile all the time. It was rare to see me sad and depressed like I always seem to be at the moment.

"Why does it matter to you?" I retorted. He sighed. We both seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

"I don't want you to be angry at me."

"Why? Because if I forgive you and stop being angry at you, you can finally get with the girl of your dreams?" I snapped at him. He sighed again.

"I feel guilty too," he said. "I made you angry. And I made you stop smiling! Of course I would feel guilty." I stared at him as he stared out the window. The sun was just setting, casting orange, red, and purple rays of light on him. I couldn't help, but admire his beauty. He truly was gorgeous. I turned away, before he caught me staring at him. I blushed as I looked down.

"Well, yeah. That might be your fault..." I muttered. He chuckled. He turned back to face me.

"I need to make you smile again," he stated, sitting on my bed.

"And how are you going to do that?" I asked him, raising my eyebrow up in question.

"I don't know," he replied, tapping his chin with his index finger. I rolled my eyes at him. "I guess I'll do just anything that would make you laugh," he said.

"And how would you know what would make me laugh?" Alex shrugged.

"I'll find out," he said with a smile. He stared at the wall in deep thought before an idea came into his head and he had a look on realization on his face. "Oh! I know!" he exclaimed. He stood up from the bed and started doing some weird dance, flailing his arms around.

"What are you doing?!" I asked incredulously. He stopped to reply to me.

"I'm doing my victory dance!" he said brightly, continuing to do his weird dance.

"That's your victory dance?!" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, as matter of fact, it is," he said defensively. "Everyone laughs when they see it." I giggled at that. "Ah-hah! You giggled! That's a start!" He pointed at me and then continued to dance. I couldn't stop the giggles that were escaping my lips. By the time he was almost done dancing, I was full-out laughing myself to tears.

"Stop that! My stomach hurts!" I said through fits of laughter. He stopped and smiled at me.

He sat on the bed next to me as I tried to calm myself. I wiped the tears of laughter from the corner of my eyes. When I went to put my hand down, Alex caught my right arm. I looked at him questioningly.

"Leah..." he murmured before leaning in closer to me.

"Wha-" I started, but I never got to finish what I was going to say.

Alex kissed me. Alex Layton kissed me!

He pulled away from me, his hand still gripping my arm. My eyes were wide open from shock and I just stared at him. Alex seemed to have realized what he had just done, because he suddenly let go of my hand and stood up.

"I... I'm so sorry!" he apologized before grabbing his backpack and quickly leaving the room.

I just sat there, stunned. All these thoughts just started flying through my head.

What was that?! What does that mean? What happened to that other girl? Why would he do that? Didn't he just have a dream he was kissing her instead?

I brought my fingers up to my face and traced my lips.

His lips are warm.

I licked my lips, hoping to still taste him. But then these negative thoughts kept popping in my head.

The kiss must have meant nothing to him. He didn't mean it. It was an accident. Yeah, an accident! He still loves that girl. He's told me so many times.

I shut my eyes and slowly laid down in my bed. I felt warm tears cascade down my cheeks before I even realized I was crying. I felt my chest tighten as I tried to keep my sobs silent.

Why do you make me feel like this, Alex Layton?

Day 7

An hour before Alex was to come by, I was rehearsing how I was going to act. I was going to act nonchalant about the whole thing. The kiss didn't faze me. Nope, not one bit.

Okay, maybe that's a lie. But he didn't need to know that, right?

When the time when Alex was supposed to be here, he didn't come. He didn't stop by the hospital once today.

Was my kissing that bad?

I thought as I looked out the window, biting my nails.

Day 8

Alex still hasn't dropped by.

Day 9

It's been three days and I still haven't seen Alex. Did he have that much of an effect on me that I couldn't go seventy-two hours without seeing or hearing him?

I was going to be discharged tomorrow. I don't even know why I had to stay in the hospital for that long anyways.

I sighed as I looked at the cover of the book Alex got me. I haven't read one word since I last saw him. Since I kissed him. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I pursed my lips before looking out the window and whispering to myself.

"I want to see you, Alex..."

Day 10

Today was the day I was supposed to be discharged. I was changed out of the hospital gown and into my regular clothes. All my things were packed and ready to go. I sat down on the bed as I waited for my mom to come pick me up. I grabbed the book off of the bedside table and just stared down at it.

I saw a teardrop fall on the cover of the book. I quickly wiped my eyes as I heard my mom's voice in the hallway. I stood up when she came through the doorway. Big mistake. I fell back down into the bed, clutching my head.

"Ow..." I muttered. My mom dashed over to me, checking to see if I was okay.

"Are you okay, honey?!" she asked frantically. I nodded my head slowly.

"Yeah, it's nothing. I'm fine. I just stood up too quickly," I explained, slowly getting up this time.

"Well, okay..." she said hesitantly. "Do you have everything?" she asked me, looking around the room. I glanced around quickly.

"Yeah, that's it," I replied. I grabbed my book off of the bed and my bag off of the chair. I slung my bag loosely over my shoulders. "Let's go now," I said. I couldn't look at this plain white room anymore. It was so nauseating just thinking of it. When I was halfway out the door, my mom spoke up.

"Honey, is this yours?" she asked me.

"Hm?" I hummed, turning around. I looked at what she was holding in her hand and my breath hitched in my throat. My mom was holding up the teddy bear that Alex gave me. I breathed before answering.

"Yeah, that's mine. I must have forgotten it," I muttered, walking towards her and grabbing it from her hands. I placed it back into the shopping bag where she took it out from and let it hang from my forearm. "Can we go now? I wanna get out of here," I said impatiently. She sighed and nodded.

"Fine. Let's go," she replied, following me out the door. "I never knew you had a teddy bear like that..." I heard her mutter. I ignored that and kept walking.

Day 11

I was back at home and settled back in. I still haven't heard from Alex. But I shouldn't be worried, right? I mean, why would he even need to contact me anyway? Oh right. Because he hit me with his car and I still haven't forgiven him yet. He should be here right now, groveling for my forgiveness. That little douchebag...

I sighed as I left my house. I needed something to drink. I needed coffee. I needed Starbucks. I walked on my driveway and got into my car. While I was in the hospital, my mom got my car fixed. And guess who payed for half of the damages? That's right. Alex Layton did. That rich bastard...

When I got to Starbucks, I parked my car and walked inside, holding a certain book in my hand. I ordered my drink and sat in the back, placing the book on the table in front of me. While I was waiting for my drink, I just stared down at the book.

I was startled though when a grande caramel frappuccino with my name of on it was placed in front of me. I looked up at the person who gave it to me and gasped.

"You!" I hissed. Alex smiled his care-free smile. I glared at him. "What are you doing here?" I asked harshly. He didn't answer me as he sat in the seat in front of me.

"Long time no see," he simply said, leaning back into the seat. I gritted my teeth. "How have you been?" And then I exploded.

"First, you hit me with your car," I whispered/yelled leaning forward a bit. "then you stick around me until I forgive you, then you make me laugh, then kiss me, and then just leave without a single word for nearly five days! What the hell is wrong with you?! Are you fucking bi-polar?!" I dropped the f-bomb and the only thing he could do was stare at me.

"Leah, I'm-" he started. I wouldn't let him finish.

"Get out of my sight, Alex. I don't ever want to see you anymore." I stood up with my drink and book and started to walk away. When I passed by him, I turned around. "And what ever happened to that girl you love?" I asked him.

I don't know if I heard him correctly, but I heard him mutter words which made me start to feel guilty.

"The girl I love rejected me..."

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and walked out of Starbucks.

Day 12

I woke up early and got ready for school. I haven't been to school in over a month already now. I started to miss going to school. Yes, I know, shocking.

When I got to school, I instantly regretted coming today. Because the first person I saw at the school doors was none other than Alex Layton. Why the hell was he everywhere?!

I pushed past him, but he grabbed my arm and stopped me. "Listen-" Alex tried to say.

"What did I tell you yesterday?" I seethed. He froze and slowly let go of my arm. I dusted off my arm and continued walking to my locker.

"Leah!" I ignored him.

I got to my locker and opened it. I stared at what was in it. A single white tulip was placed in my locker. A little white card was placed in front of it. I picked up the card and read what was inside.

Please forgive me, Leah. Please. =[

A white tulip meant forgiveness. Of course I knew who sent me these. I glanced behind me and saw Alex looking at me, a puppy-dog look in his eyes. I gritted my teeth and slowly crushed the note in my hand. I grabbed the flower, shut my locker, and walked back to him.

"What the hell is this?! Just let it go! I'm not forgiving you for what you did to me!" I crushed the tulip in my hands and threw it into the trash in front of him, along with the crumpled note.

The look in his eyes made me cringe. He looked as if he was about to cry. What was there to cry about? He should have just forgotten about me from the very beginning. Maybe then, this whole thing wouldn't have happened.

Alex looked at me one last time before he looked down, defeated. "I'm sorry..." I heard him murmur before he slowly walked away. I felt a stab at my heart.

Was that too harsh?

Day 13

I was feeling like shit. And I knew exactly why I did. I hurt Alex. But he deserved it.

No, he didn't. He didn't deserve to be treated that badly. I couldn't face him. He wouldn't even look at me anymore. I messed up. I messed up big time.

Day 14

It's been exactly two weeks since I woke up from my coma. These past fourteen days has been the most boring, most thrilling, most simplest, most complicated, most saddest, most happiest, most contradictory days of my life.

But I guess I have Alex to thank for that. I never thought he would be the one to hit me that night six weeks ago. I never thought I would miss an entire month of my life.

And I never thought Alex was this determined. He was so determined to get my forgiveness, he stood up with my bitchiness and anger. He went so far as to come see me at the hospital and just spend time with me. He even bought me gifts. Shouldn't he have done all this to the girl he loved, not me. Unless... No, that's silly. He would never... or would he? Did Alex love... me?

No, it's not possible. It's not.

Anyways, why was I so stubborn?! I don't even care anymore that he hit me with his car. I was totally over it. I mean, I'm alive now, right? I'm doing fine. The car accident didn't leave any permanent damage, so it's fine. Why didn't I forgive him sooner?

Okay, maybe there are some things I still haven't forgiven him for. But the things I still haven't forgiven him for are for things he doesn't even know about! I can't forgive him just yet for loving another girl. Or the fact that the only reason why he wants me to forgive him so badly is so he can get with that girl. But he must love that girl that much to go through so much to just be with her.

I guess I had to forgive him then. I mean, the only reason I haven't forgiven him yet is probably because I never wanted him to get with that girl. I wanted him all to myself. I just wanted to be with him. I wanted him near me. But I don't want him to be unhappy because of my selfishness. I don't want to be the reason he's miserable.

I had to talk with him and tell him everything.

Day 15

This was the most nervous I've ever been in my life. I was about to tell my crush of a little bit over a year that I loved him and the only reason I hadn't forgiven him yet was because I wanted him all to myself and no one else. I'm sure he'll hate me then.

I cornered him at lunchtime and forced him to look at me; to talk to me. I pulled him out of the cafeteria and into an empty hallway.

"Look, Alex, I'm sorry," I blurted out, facing him. He looked at me in shock.

"Why are you apologizing to me? I should be apologizing to you," Alex said. I shook my head.

"No, you shouldn't. I forgave you already," I admitted, wringing my hands together.

"You... what?" he asked me. I sighed before replying.

"I've forgiven you for when you hit me with your car," I clarified.

"Then, w-why?" He looked as lost as a puppy. "Wait... So I'm forgiven?" he asked, his spirits high.

"Well, yes..." I trailed off.

"Oh thank goodness!" he exclaimed, a big smile spread across his face. "You have no idea how happy that makes me!" I just looked at him as he did his weird happy dance again. I tried to laugh, but I couldn't. I was too nervous. I still had something else to tell him.

"But Alex, there's something else I have to admit..." I started timidly.

"No need!" he said. I gaped at him.

"W-what?"

"There's no need to tell me. It's fine." He smiled widely before engulfing me in a bear hug. "Thank you so much, Leah..." he whispered in my ear. "You have no idea how happy I really am..." I slowly hugged him back. I let myself be held by him a few more seconds before pulling away. "Now, I'm going to confess to her!" Alex grinned. "Time to prepare!" he exclaimed before skipping down the hallway and back into the cafeteria.

I sighed deeply before wrapping my arms around myself. "I guess I won't tell him I love him..." I muttered.

Day 16

I found a single peach rose in my locker today. A little note was in front of it. Seriously, how does Alex know my locker combination?! I sighed and picked up the note.

Thank you, Leah. Thank you so much! =]

So a single peach rose meant thank you. I smiled sadly.

When I was about to sleep that night, I couldn't. It was hard to fall asleep when things kept running through your head. I tried to force myself to sleep, but I just couldn't. I looked over to my bedside table and saw the teddy bear. I grabbed it and cuddled with it. This was the closest thing I had to Alex. That and the book he got me. Which I still haven't finished reading.

I couldn't tell him how I felt yesterday. And I still couldn't do it today. I felt pathetic. I was never like this before. I usually just told it how I thought, but ever since spending time with Alex, I can't seem to say what's on my mind without me trying to watch what I say. I sighed one more time before shutting my eyes closed and pulling the teddy bear closer to my body.

Day 17

I was in the library during lunchtime, just staring at the book Alex got me. I have no idea how many times I've done this already. Just as I reached my hand out to touch the cover, Alex suddenly appeared behind me, scaring the shit out of me.

"What the fuck?!" I nearly screamed at the top of my lungs. Luckily, the library was completely empty at lunchtime. Hell, even the librarian wasn't here. I turned around and saw him laughing at me. I glared at him. "What do you want, Alex?" I asked him nonchalantly, turning back around. He walked around me and sat in front of me.

"You enjoying that book?" he asked me, leaning his head on his palm.

"More or less," I said.

"Have you finished the book yet?"

"No," I admitted.

"Why not?" He looked disappointed.

"Why does it matter? I'll finish it when I finish it," I said a bit too harshly. He sighed and grabbed the book from the table.

"You know what?" he asked, flipping to a page. It's like he knew which page exactly he was looking for. "I've waited too long," he said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. He turned to the page he was looking for and flipped it back over for me to read. "What? What am I..." I trailed off. I noticed red ink underlining a certain sentence in the middle of the page. It contrasted a lot compared to the white paper and black ink. The page it was on was a page I wasn't even close to. It was near the end of the book.

"Do you see it?" he asked me impatiently.

"I... I don't understand..." I muttered, shaking my hand. I took the book from his hands and reread the sentence over and over again. "I love you. Yeah, and?" I asked. Alex sighed exasperatedly.

"Do you still have that teddy bear I got for you, Leah?" he asked me. I blushed.

"Oh? That thing? I think I still have it..." I trailed off, feigning being indifferent.

"On the tag of the teddy bear, there's something written on there," he explained.

"O-kay..." I said slowly.

"Put what's written in here," he tapped the underlined sentence. "and what's written on the tag of the teddy bear and put them together," he said as if talking to a child. I was not a child, dumb ass...

I rolled my eyes at him. "Fine, whatever..." I muttered. I picked up my book and left the library, leaving him all alone.

You have no idea how fast I drove home after school. I was lucky I didn't get into another car accident. I quickly parked and turned off my car in my driveway, and dashed into my house. I ran up the stairs and once I made it to my room, I flung the door open.

As soon as my eyes came upon the teddy bear, I pounced on it. I quickly grabbed it and flipped it over. I read the tag - which was located on it's ass - and in red sharpie, one word was written. Or should I say, one name was written.

Leah.

Leah? Why would it say my name? I thought back to what he told me in the library. "Put them together? That would make..." I whispered to myself. "I love you, Leah." I stared at the teddy bear's ass in confusion. "...What...?" I muttered. I thought about it.

What did this mean? Since Alex gave me this teddy bear, then he must have written my name on it. Then what about the book? He bought the book for me, so maybe he underlined that sentence...?

"But why...?" I started. Then I facepalmed myself. "How could I be so stupid?!" I screamed at no one in particular. Thinking back at everything, I finally realized what everything meant.

The girl Alex is in love with... is me. I'm the girl he loves!

"I can't believe I was so late in realizing this! Alex loves me. He loves me! Me!"

The reason why he said the girl he loved was so stubborn was because she was. The reason why he wanted me to forgive him so bad so he could get with the girl he loved was because he wanted to get with me! He wanted me to forgive him and then go out with him!

Jeez... Alex was such a dumb ass! He should have just told me this, like, seventeen days ago! Things would have been a lot easier on both of us!

"But wait!" Okay, now, I was just talking to myself. "What if I'm wrong? What if I'm completely wrong? No! That would be terrible! That would be so embarrassing!" I smashed my face into my pillow. I screamed into my pillow to let off some steam. "I have to be sure this is what he meant! What would he do next? What would he do?" I pondered this, tapping my chin. Then I thought of it.

Day 18

I stood in front of my locker during lunchtime, my breathing unsteady. No one was in the hallway at the time, which was good for me. I slowly opened my locker and sighed in relief at what I saw. My assumptions were correct.

I found a single red rose in my locker with a little white note in front of it. I bit my lip and slowly reached for the card.

I love you, Leah. I love you so much. <3

And a single red rose means love.

I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind. I almost gasped if I didn't already know he was there, waiting for me. He pressed his warm lips against my ear and I waited for him to speak.

"I love you, Leah. I love you so fucking much..." Alex spoke softly. I grinned.

"I know," I started. "But why couldn't you tell me that sooner?!" I scolded him, reaching behind me and hitting his head.

"W-what?" he asked in shock, pulling away from me.

"Why the hell did you do that?!" I asked him, turning around.

"Do what?"

"Make everything so cryptic! You could have just told me you loved me from the beginning!" I said.

"Well, I wasn't sure if you felt the same way..." He rubbed his neck awkwardly.

"I felt this way about you for a little over a year," I admitted. "And you?" He gulped before answering.

"Just about the same," he said timidly. I gaped at him.

"Are you serious?! We could have done this a year ago!" I threw my hands up in the air. "Ugh... I blame this on you..." I said.

"What?! On me?! Why me?"

"Because. You're the guy. You're supposed to have the balls to do these kind of things."

"Excuse me?!" he said incredulously.

"Oh, come on! You're gonna be the man in this relationship, so you better have the balls for it!" I said before pulling him by his shirt closer to me. "Right?" I prompted him, looking up at him. He sighed in defeat.

"Right," he said hesitantly. Huh... Maybe he wasn't the man in the relationship after all...

"And Alex?" I asked, looking down at the ground. I looked back up at him before continuing. "I love you too," I said. He smiled the biggest smile I've ever seen. And let me tell you, I've seen him smile big. He hugged me so hard, I'm pretty sure I heard a crack in my bones here and there. "Okay, I can't breathe!" I gasped out. He let go of me and almost instantly his lips crashed onto mine. I pulled back in shock and I licked my lips.

"What? What'd I do wrong?" he asked, panic clearly in his voice. I shook my head.

"No, nothing's wrong. You just did the right thing," I said with a smile. He smiled back at me before replying.

"Don't scare me like that again!" he chided me, pulling me in for another kiss. This one was a bit more softer. I pulled away again to ask him a question.

"So on the day of the accident, when you were rushing to get flowers for the girl you liked, you were getting flowers for me?" I asked, a grin slowly forming on my face. Alex blushed.

"Yes..." he replied meekly.

"Aww! That is so cute!" I said in a baby voice, pinching his cheeks. He whined and I let go. I pulled him down into another kiss. This time, he pulled away. If only for a fraction of an inch.

"I'm the bi-polar one, huh?" he mumbled. I didn't bother answering him, but just smiled instead.

"You hit me with a car. You can't say anything," I said teasingly, pulling him once more into another kiss.