A Minute Longer
but i'd rather us live in the present day
This is the last time, Sydney promised herself silently. Grabbing the patterned curtain between her thumb and her finger, she pulled the fabric back and peeked out. The large moving truck was still in front of the house, rumbling away as the red-faced driver hurled instructions at the workers. Strange men moved in and out of the front door, carrying cardboard boxes and furniture. Sighing to herself, Sydney pulled back and closed her eyes.
How could she be so…so stupid? How could she let herself think that, for once in his lifetime – just this once – he would follow through with his promise? How could she believe that this time would be any different from the others?
But this time is different, she told herself, blinking furiously, because this time, I’m not coming back.
Sydney was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard footsteps coming down the hallway. Her mother appeared in the doorway, holding a box labeled ‘Lily’s’. “Syd,” she said hurriedly. “Are all your belongings in the truck, or is there something you’d like to add before they leave?”
Looking around her empty room, Sydney shook her head, hoping her mother wouldn’t see that something was wrong. “No, nothing,” she said, turning away to sniffle quietly. “You guys go on; I’ll be there in a minute.”
Her mother said a rushed goodbye, and left. Brushing at her cheeks, Sydney stared at the royal blue walls of what had been her room only a few hours ago. But now it was nothing but empty space, ready to be filled again with new belongings. Her eyes filled with tears at the thought, and she slid down against the wall, hugging her knees close to her chest.
Sydney had had this room ever since she’d been a little girl. The memories of her childhood were swirling in this room, hidden away behind the paint, underneath the wooden plank boards. She’d grown and changed so much over the years, but her room had always been the same. It was the only place where she felt secure in her own skin, where she belonged. All her problems shrank away when she stepped into her safe abode, and life suddenly didn’t seem so bad anymore.
And then, of course, there was the fact that this was where she'd had her first kiss with him. She'd been so shy – blushing, stuttering, willing herself to not start chewing on her hair as she did when she was nervous. But then, then he'd touched her hand and blinked at her through his blonde eyelashes, and she'd almost died. How could a boy like him want to be with someone so clumsy, so awkward? He'd weaved his fingers through her hair and titled her chin up just so, their lips meeting gently – the perfect kiss.
Taking a moment to gather herself, Sydney stood up, wiping at her eyes harshly. She smoothed down her dress and quickly exited, her heart crumbling at the thought of never stepping foot in it again.
*
Her younger brother, Kale, greeted her at the bottom of the stairs, looking rather excited. “Syd!” he exclaimed when she descended the last few steps. Being only seven years old, Kale often had the tendency to say everything in a manner that ended with a big exclamation point. Sydney smiled at that, crouching down so she was eye-to-eye with the little boy.
“Yes?” she asked, looking curious. “What is it?”
He smiled big, showing a gap where his other front tooth should’ve been. “Cooper left you this! He was on his bike, Syd! The one I like, the kind I want when I'm a little bigger—”
The remaining words were lost on Sydney as her breath hitched in her throat at the simple mention of his name. “Cooper’s here? Outside?” She stood up, quickly walking to the front door and peering out, telling her heart to settle down but not quite able to convince it.
“No!” Kale blurted, coming up behind her and tugging on her dress. He took a folded piece of paper from the front pocket of his shorts, and handed it over. It was creased and a little crumpled, but nonetheless, it was there. “He left, Syd; he said he needed to get home to his mommy!”
Sydney would’ve laughed at Kale’s childish attempts to make the situation better – after all, despite his young age, even the child could see that his older sister seemed to have gone rigid – but a sort of white rage bubbled inside her. How could Cooper lie to Kale like that? And to use her brother as some sort of messenger, telling him to go give his sister a fucking note and leaving without an explanation! How could a mere piece of paper explain anything?
Telling herself to calm down, Sydney took the piece of paper, and touched Kale’s soft hair with the tips of her fingers. Smiling, she mumbled, “Go outside and wait with Dad, okay?”
Kale looked up at her, confused for a second before he bolted from the room, shutting the front door behind him.
Sydney stood there, holding the only piece of evidence that proved Cooper had been here only moments ago – and had left without saying anything to her. She blinked back the tears that she knew were coming, and sat down on the bottom step of the stairs, opening the paper and flattering it out against her knee. The familiar swoopy writing came into view, and she swallowed back a choked sob.
A memory flashed behind her eyelids as she closed her eyes for a moment – the first note Cooper had ever written to her, back in their freshman year. She’d been so clueless when she’d seen the words scrawled carefully on the back of some abandoned History notes: You have a pretty smile, and underneath Love, your secret admirer. Of course, at the time, she hadn’t known who this mystery person could be; she only blushed and hid behind curtains of raven hair, afraid that it was a joke.
There had been more notes after that, sometimes written as though the person had taken great care to make sure every single letter was as perfect as possible, and others scribbled hastily as though they’d been in a great hurry. She found them in her locker, in her Math notebook, and, once, in the hood of her winter jacket. She’d giggled to herself when she discovered it, coated with a few snowflakes that had somehow managed to hold their shape, despite the heat radiating off of her body.
The moving truck’s roar as it pulled away from the house brought Sydney back to reality. She blinked and looked down at the words, suddenly not caring – not giving a damn – what Cooper had to say. He’d hurt her, more than once, and even though her friends had warned her against him – “He does this to everyone, Sydney! You’re nothing special; he’s going to leave you, too!” – she’d fallen desperately in love with him. She’d yearned for his light kisses and the way he would gently trace her eyelids with his fingers, whispering to her that she was beautiful, just fucking gorgeous.
Even as something cold and steely seemed to grab a hold of her heart and squeeze the life out of it, Sydney picked up the fragile piece of paper and ripped it once, twice, thrice, until the tiny pieces floated to the floor, littered like dead stars. She blinked back the tears, told herself to be strong, and walked out of the house; leaving behind memories of whispered I love yous and hushed giggles.
How could she be so…so stupid? How could she let herself think that, for once in his lifetime – just this once – he would follow through with his promise? How could she believe that this time would be any different from the others?
But this time is different, she told herself, blinking furiously, because this time, I’m not coming back.
Sydney was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard footsteps coming down the hallway. Her mother appeared in the doorway, holding a box labeled ‘Lily’s’. “Syd,” she said hurriedly. “Are all your belongings in the truck, or is there something you’d like to add before they leave?”
Looking around her empty room, Sydney shook her head, hoping her mother wouldn’t see that something was wrong. “No, nothing,” she said, turning away to sniffle quietly. “You guys go on; I’ll be there in a minute.”
Her mother said a rushed goodbye, and left. Brushing at her cheeks, Sydney stared at the royal blue walls of what had been her room only a few hours ago. But now it was nothing but empty space, ready to be filled again with new belongings. Her eyes filled with tears at the thought, and she slid down against the wall, hugging her knees close to her chest.
Sydney had had this room ever since she’d been a little girl. The memories of her childhood were swirling in this room, hidden away behind the paint, underneath the wooden plank boards. She’d grown and changed so much over the years, but her room had always been the same. It was the only place where she felt secure in her own skin, where she belonged. All her problems shrank away when she stepped into her safe abode, and life suddenly didn’t seem so bad anymore.
And then, of course, there was the fact that this was where she'd had her first kiss with him. She'd been so shy – blushing, stuttering, willing herself to not start chewing on her hair as she did when she was nervous. But then, then he'd touched her hand and blinked at her through his blonde eyelashes, and she'd almost died. How could a boy like him want to be with someone so clumsy, so awkward? He'd weaved his fingers through her hair and titled her chin up just so, their lips meeting gently – the perfect kiss.
Taking a moment to gather herself, Sydney stood up, wiping at her eyes harshly. She smoothed down her dress and quickly exited, her heart crumbling at the thought of never stepping foot in it again.
*
Her younger brother, Kale, greeted her at the bottom of the stairs, looking rather excited. “Syd!” he exclaimed when she descended the last few steps. Being only seven years old, Kale often had the tendency to say everything in a manner that ended with a big exclamation point. Sydney smiled at that, crouching down so she was eye-to-eye with the little boy.
“Yes?” she asked, looking curious. “What is it?”
He smiled big, showing a gap where his other front tooth should’ve been. “Cooper left you this! He was on his bike, Syd! The one I like, the kind I want when I'm a little bigger—”
The remaining words were lost on Sydney as her breath hitched in her throat at the simple mention of his name. “Cooper’s here? Outside?” She stood up, quickly walking to the front door and peering out, telling her heart to settle down but not quite able to convince it.
“No!” Kale blurted, coming up behind her and tugging on her dress. He took a folded piece of paper from the front pocket of his shorts, and handed it over. It was creased and a little crumpled, but nonetheless, it was there. “He left, Syd; he said he needed to get home to his mommy!”
Sydney would’ve laughed at Kale’s childish attempts to make the situation better – after all, despite his young age, even the child could see that his older sister seemed to have gone rigid – but a sort of white rage bubbled inside her. How could Cooper lie to Kale like that? And to use her brother as some sort of messenger, telling him to go give his sister a fucking note and leaving without an explanation! How could a mere piece of paper explain anything?
Telling herself to calm down, Sydney took the piece of paper, and touched Kale’s soft hair with the tips of her fingers. Smiling, she mumbled, “Go outside and wait with Dad, okay?”
Kale looked up at her, confused for a second before he bolted from the room, shutting the front door behind him.
Sydney stood there, holding the only piece of evidence that proved Cooper had been here only moments ago – and had left without saying anything to her. She blinked back the tears that she knew were coming, and sat down on the bottom step of the stairs, opening the paper and flattering it out against her knee. The familiar swoopy writing came into view, and she swallowed back a choked sob.
A memory flashed behind her eyelids as she closed her eyes for a moment – the first note Cooper had ever written to her, back in their freshman year. She’d been so clueless when she’d seen the words scrawled carefully on the back of some abandoned History notes: You have a pretty smile, and underneath Love, your secret admirer. Of course, at the time, she hadn’t known who this mystery person could be; she only blushed and hid behind curtains of raven hair, afraid that it was a joke.
There had been more notes after that, sometimes written as though the person had taken great care to make sure every single letter was as perfect as possible, and others scribbled hastily as though they’d been in a great hurry. She found them in her locker, in her Math notebook, and, once, in the hood of her winter jacket. She’d giggled to herself when she discovered it, coated with a few snowflakes that had somehow managed to hold their shape, despite the heat radiating off of her body.
The moving truck’s roar as it pulled away from the house brought Sydney back to reality. She blinked and looked down at the words, suddenly not caring – not giving a damn – what Cooper had to say. He’d hurt her, more than once, and even though her friends had warned her against him – “He does this to everyone, Sydney! You’re nothing special; he’s going to leave you, too!” – she’d fallen desperately in love with him. She’d yearned for his light kisses and the way he would gently trace her eyelids with his fingers, whispering to her that she was beautiful, just fucking gorgeous.
Even as something cold and steely seemed to grab a hold of her heart and squeeze the life out of it, Sydney picked up the fragile piece of paper and ripped it once, twice, thrice, until the tiny pieces floated to the floor, littered like dead stars. She blinked back the tears, told herself to be strong, and walked out of the house; leaving behind memories of whispered I love yous and hushed giggles.