Teenage Angst
I'm Paralyzed.
You don't understand. I can't tell you directly, but I'll speak in riddles and hope you know what I mean. I send you subliminal messages and pray you figure them out. I'll give you as many hints as I can manage, hoping that you'll decode it correctly, but you don't seem to be catching on.
Do you remember the song I sent you? You probably don't, and I can't go into greater detail than that. Maybe you'd remember the lyrics if I posted them in there, but you could easily copy and paste those into the search bar and remember.
I'm trapped in you. I have been for God know's how long. Every relationship failure is because I can't forget you. You're the truth in my lie of a world and the only way I can get rid of you is through self inflicted heartbreak from the stoners, assholes, and cheaters of the men I'll date.
I'll tell you that I don't believe in love or relationships and feel my heart break with every letter, because I know that, for the most part, it's not true. I can't believe in love or relationships unless they're with you.
For a while, I forced myself to hate you because I hated myself for loving you. I would look at you and shut down all feeling, and in that I became bitter. I don't know what brought me back to my senses again, but suddenly the way you moved made me shudder.
All my life I've been told that I was loved. I was never exempt from that, though it made me shift awkwardly in my seat and mumble a half-assed response. But I never believed those words until I heard them come from your mouth. I never meant them until I said them to you.
I've stayed up too many nights contemplating what we could be, and each time I felt a mix of despair, anger, and infatuation well up in my throat. It should have made me cry, but I've already shed many tears on you. Now, it makes my skin prickle and my head spin.
When we say we're not meant for each other - when we say we're too scared of messing up - I've lied through my teeth and held back the truth.
We're so different and so alike at the same time. You're the one who can brighten my mood after a shitty day. You're the one I haven't gotten sick of. You're the glimmer of hope in my Manson songs. You're the answer to every doubt of my existence.
You might know who you are. You probably won't. I don't know if I want you to. But I won't be sending you this any time soon.
I'm trapped in you, and I'm petrified.
Do you remember the song I sent you? You probably don't, and I can't go into greater detail than that. Maybe you'd remember the lyrics if I posted them in there, but you could easily copy and paste those into the search bar and remember.
I'm trapped in you. I have been for God know's how long. Every relationship failure is because I can't forget you. You're the truth in my lie of a world and the only way I can get rid of you is through self inflicted heartbreak from the stoners, assholes, and cheaters of the men I'll date.
I'll tell you that I don't believe in love or relationships and feel my heart break with every letter, because I know that, for the most part, it's not true. I can't believe in love or relationships unless they're with you.
For a while, I forced myself to hate you because I hated myself for loving you. I would look at you and shut down all feeling, and in that I became bitter. I don't know what brought me back to my senses again, but suddenly the way you moved made me shudder.
All my life I've been told that I was loved. I was never exempt from that, though it made me shift awkwardly in my seat and mumble a half-assed response. But I never believed those words until I heard them come from your mouth. I never meant them until I said them to you.
I've stayed up too many nights contemplating what we could be, and each time I felt a mix of despair, anger, and infatuation well up in my throat. It should have made me cry, but I've already shed many tears on you. Now, it makes my skin prickle and my head spin.
When we say we're not meant for each other - when we say we're too scared of messing up - I've lied through my teeth and held back the truth.
We're so different and so alike at the same time. You're the one who can brighten my mood after a shitty day. You're the one I haven't gotten sick of. You're the glimmer of hope in my Manson songs. You're the answer to every doubt of my existence.
You might know who you are. You probably won't. I don't know if I want you to. But I won't be sending you this any time soon.
I'm trapped in you, and I'm petrified.