Even If

Her Point of View...

I was back at Hogwarts again after being gone for so long. The first person I searched for was Lily Evans. It wasn't long before I found her at the usual place, the Black Lake. The scenery was beautiful. It had beautiful lush green trees, bushes, and anything mother nature has to offer. And of course, nothing beats the beautiful lake that Hogwarts held as the sun shined against the waters, giving the sparkling shine of beauty that would never fade through time.

Before I spoke her name and without a second to waste, Lily saw me, ran to me, and welcomed me with open arms. She was a beautiful girl inside and out. Nobody could hate someone like her. She would be considered as an angel under disguise.

Even though she had beautiful red hair, her green eyes were the most beautiful feature she had. It was always sparkling and loving. Sometimes, I would envy her, but it would fade when she smiled. She is and will be my best friend that was worth more than my life.

I then told her that I would be attending Hogwarts again from now on. And of course, her eyes lit up. She jumped up and down joyously and hugged me. If I was a guy, I would have definitely fall for her. But then, she suddenly stopped her joyous celebration and frowned. Afterwards, she looked at me seriously.

"Are you sure, Anne?" Lily Evans asked. I sighed but nodded. Her eyes suddenly lit up again. and hugged me.

"Oh, that's good news, Anne! Severus will be certainly be happy about the news," she told me before she let go of me. I suddenly froze from the name that I abhorred so much.

"Don't you ever say his name in front of me. Ever!" I yelled at her. And of course, her eyes widened and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Anne. I didn't mean to remind you, but when will you let go of the past? It's been two years already, and it isn't like you to hold a grudge for so long." Her voice was light and gentle just like an angel.

I looked over to the sky and shook my head. The painful feelings emerging inside me once more. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have this kind of hatred.

"He's the very reason my brother committed suicide, along with his filthy posse," I told her as she put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sure that his friends forced him. You know how peer pressure is. It could make someone do things that they don't want to do," Lily tried to reason with me as I looked at her. Tears starting to form in my eyes.

"Do you honestly," I paused as I closed my eyes and tried to restrain myself from crying. My teeth clenched while my fist shivered from the emotions erupting inside me.

"Anne?" I could hear Lily's worried voice. I breathed in slowly and let it out. I, once again, opened my eyes and looked at her.

"Do you honestly think that Snape would have no other choice but to join in with his Slytherin friends and bullying my only brother to death?"

Lily's eyes widened as she bit her lower lip and looked away. And of course, she was speechless. I laughed in contempt.

"My dearest brother who I cared so much about is dead, Lily. Dead! You don't understand the feeling of losing someone close to you. You don't!" I yelled at her and left.

It wasn't long before I met the man that started it all. After two years, he hasn't changed one bit. His hair was still greasy and in front of his face, hiding his black beaded eyes.

Feelings started to erupt in me again. Never have I thought, he would be the one to hurt me so much. The pain he gave me, I knew, would never subside.

"Snape," I greeted. "It's been a while."

"Yes, quite so, Darrens," he answered with a nod.

"Hmph," I sounded with a smirk. "Unfortunately, this beautiful weather has been disrupted by your presence." Oh, how much I hated him.

"I see." He walked around me and observed me. "I never thought you would become like those other Gryffindors, Darrens. Arrogant and with an attitude. Thought you would be more out of their circle like Lily."

I shook my head and laughed with hatred.

"I never thought, you, of all people, would be the one to be responsible to my brother's suicide. I never expected that you would be the one to bring this kind of hatred in me." He was quiet and speechless while I continued, "So yeah, nothing can be expected."

I, then, passed him before our hands accidentally touched each other. Silent tears fell from my eyes as I never looked back.

Severus Snape, I will never forgive you even if I loved you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

His Point of View...

It's been two years since I last saw her. After the death of her brother, I've never heard from her since, and Lily would not speak about her in front of me. Now, she's standing right in front of me. The only other Gryffindor that I learned to accept as a friend because of Lily. I was rather surprised to see her suddenly, yet she's changed greatly. Her brunette hair was no longer at her shoulders but to her waist. She always said that she hated long hair because it would get in her way. I wondered why she let it grow out. And her eyes, they were no longer the excitable chocolate brown eyes that I knew. They looked more sad than anything. And instead of seeing a smile on her face, she looked more solemn and emotionless. Those new features never suited someone like her. She was more beautiful being cheerful and full of energy. This wasn't the girl I knew. This wasn't the Anne Darrens that I've become friends with.

"Snape," she greeted. "It's been a while."

I was surprised to hear her voice; it wasn't what I was accustomed to hearing from her. She usually had such a light but energetic voice that would boom in my ears. Now, her voice was void of all emotion.

"Yes, quite so, Darrens," I answered with a nod, never allowing myself to show how I felt about her change. Where was the Anne Darrens that I knew? Why did she call me Snape?

"Hmph," she sounded with a smirk. "Unfortunately, this beautiful weather has been disrupted by your presence."

Inside, I frowned. What was the reason why she hated me? Did I do something that made her hate me this much?

I see." I walked around her and observed her to see if this was really Anne. "I never thought you would become like those other Gryffindors, Darrens. Arrogant and with an attitude. Thought you would be more out of their circle like Lily."

I didn't want to show her my real feelings, afraid that other people would use it to their advantage. Feelings of hurt erupted inside me. It seems she sees me as her enemy now.

She suddenly laughed in contempt. No, this was not Anne. She would never laugh like that. She had such an innocent and childlike laugh that would make other people smile or laugh with her. Anne would never have such hatred in her. This cannot be Anne.

"I never thought, you, of all people, would be the one to be responsible to my brother's suicide. I never expected that you would be the one to bring this kind of hatred in me." I became quiet and speechless when she said that. I was responsible for her brother's death? He committed suicide? "So yeah, nothing can be expected."

I didn't understand what she just told me. I never talked to her brother nor did I bully him. But then, I remembered the time when Evan Rosier drank the Polyjuice Potion I made, pretending to be me so he could go to Hogsmeade. I didn't feel like going to Hogsmeade that day, so I allowed him to be me because he was banded to go for misbehaving and almost killing a student.

Anne, then, passed by me our hands accidentally touching each other. I watched her leave and never explained my side. Even if she was misinformed, I would never tell her the truth for I am a proud Slytherin. Pride was the one thing that got in my way. I would rather let her think it was me than telling on my Slytherin friends. I am a man. I never want to revert back to being a weak little kid like I was before. I am never going back to being Snape the crybaby.

Even if she hates me all her life, I will never admit the truth just like the truth that I had feelings for her.