There's No Way To Fix Us

*Carla*
My breath was clean pushed out of me, like when you do a belly flop in a pool from a high distance. I couldn't stop the tears from forming and spilling over my eyes. Not only from rejection but the fall from the bed to the floor made me hurt inside my body, regaining in weakness.
"Brad! What in the world!" I screamed at him.
"Carla, I told you we aren't doing it. No sex," he said, shaking his head.
"Brad, are you kidding me? I'm going to lose my virginity one way or another," I complained. Why won't he go ahead and just do it? I mean he's screwed plenty of other girls before. Why not me?
"Well, I'm not taking it anytime soon," he murmured, barely audible, turning his head away from me. He's avoiding my gaze I'm trying to give him.
"But...." I stumble on my words.
"No but's, my love," he whispers softly, and trying to sweetly.
"Mom.... she should be home soon," I muttered to him, looking dead in my eyes. I hold his gaze this time, making him look at me. I'm rather pissed; and he knows it.
"I should really go," he said, looking back at me. I can read his eyes, which are saying that he needed to get out of there.
"Umm, sure. I guess," I say, plopping down on the bed which we were just upon, happy and loving.
He said nothing. He just looked at me like I was crazy. So I also said nothing, just stared at him as turned and left my room. The front door opened, because the alarm goes off to say "Hey the door's open! Now it's closed!" The engine of his car roars over the sounds of the coming liquids, traveling back up my throat, and he drives away. I wish he would have stayed, held me tight. I would do anything to get him back. Even stop my hormones the best I can from overpowering me and stop my urge for sex from his wonderful, wonderful body.
I seriously need to stop crying, but then again, I'm a girl. It's that hormone thing again. I'm not even sure if they stopped since they started earlier, when he pushed me. I sit there on my bed's comforter and rock myself again, hoping I can get myself to stop. My stomach catches up with me and I throw up on my hard-wood floor. I can't get myself to stop, even after the dry ones start. It hurts, but not as bad as Brad stabbing me in my heart. I look at it like this, that puke is my heart's guts, spilled onto the floor, or the pages of my love live.
I'm getting over him faster than I used to, because had this been the first time he hurt me, I would have died, or more likely, bawled my eyes out until I was blue in the face. Now, I am up, out of my room, and walking over to Ms. Sharon's house, wanting one of her delicious strawberry banana smoothies.
She knows me WAY to well because as I step onto the first of her steps to her door, the bright green door swings silently on its hinges and she's standing there with a large smoothie, and guess what kind.
"OK either your spying on me, or your a psychic, now which one is it?" I joke around with Mom all the time.
"I read your mind." She laughed, winking at me.
I step up on her wooden wrap-around porch, take the glass with the pink-ish slush inside and sip on it slowly. A smile grows on my face. Mom wraps her arm around me and walks me inside.
"So hun, whatcha up to today?" Pretty common question.
"Just at home... had a visitor or two." I told her calmly. I can't lie to her.
"Yeah, I saw that. Brad, was it? I heard ya'll aren't going out anymore, like for good? Is this right?" Momma asks this with care. She ALWAYS knew when something was going down. I just sipped my smoothie and nodded.
"Mhmm, I thought so. So are you not going to his party tonight then? It's already all over Facebook." She asks this like I've already decided, when frankly, I hadn't heard a word of it. I stopped dead in my tracks sipping on my smoothie and set it down as I turned my head to face her with a quizzical look. Not only had this confused me, but Mom had a Facebook?
"What?" Is all I could muster. It had only been an hour and a half since he left my house and there was already going to be a party?
"Read it for yourself, it's like the only news on here that's exciting right now." She said as she typed something into her once dormant lap top. She turned the screen toward me and there right smack in the middle was a picture -might I mention a very SEXY picture- of Brad and his status as:

"Party at my house tonight!!! Bring anyone and everyone you can, parents' are out again.... So what else is there to do?"

I took the computer from her and stared into the screen. I was clicking wildly on multiple different things. There were almost one-hundred comments on this. One of the first ones where none other than that skanky head cheer captain, Kara, which said:

Don't you know I'll be there, Big Boy. ;D Haha! I can't wait. ;)

You don't know bad that rubs me the wrong way. Even though we aren't together anymore, there's something about her that isn't right when she's talking about him. There were plenty of other comments from other girls that go to our school that were just like that, but that one, that one comment from that one girl hurt so much to where she started pushing buttons. I tried to stop them before they formed and fell. The warm familiar streams of salty water run down my face again, for probably the millionth time today. I looked up long enough to meet Momma's eyes and to see the urging in them to come over her and hold me. However, she stayed there. Her face displayed hurt and love for me. Her face was just like an open book; I could read it so fluently I mouthed for her to come over here and hold me. I wanted her to hold me. If she didn't nobody else would. She literally jumped up and cuddled me so close I felt like I couldn't breath. But I enjoyed it. I let out all the tears I had been holding in onto her shirt. Afterward, I shook like a fall leaf. I feel so alone.
After I sat there, finished crying, Momma changed her shirt -which was soaked- and finished my smoothie, it had only been 45 minutes. I got up, hugged Ms. Sharon, thanked her for everything, and walked over to my house next-door. Mom's still not home, so I walk in and step into my room. I stride over to my closet and open it. There, right in the middle, was my prom dress that I was going to wear this year. However, I feel that this moment needs it. I thought it looked exquisite which is why I really wanted it. I take it off the velvety hanger it was on and lay it out on my bed. I slip off the t-shirt and pair of jeans that I was wearing and throw them on the pile which was already started in my corner.
"Ugh, I have to do my laundry again." I say to no one in particular. For some reason I feel exceptionally pretty in my underwear. To make myself laugh, I start doing a belly-like dance in the middle of my room. I stare down at the dress. I cock my head to the side like a lost puppy when you ask it to come to you. Why won't I put it on? I was my favorite colors, green, teal, and blue, and when you twirled around in it, it shimmered in the lights. But for some reason, it was telling me something I couldn't grasp. Then I get it; It's telling me not to put it on. It's shouting at me, telling me that it will just cause me trouble. I shiver in fear but I still grab the dress and slip it on, over my head and shoulders. Nothing is going to happen. It's Brad's house; nothing can go wrong, right?
To go with the dress, I picked out the teal heels that were meant to go with it anyway, and I grab the purse to throw over my shoulder. I step out of my room and feel rather pretty, just like when I was standing there half naked. I laugh and stroll out of my house. I call Scarlet to ask her if she was going; she never answered. Then I called Steph and she answered on the first ring.
"Hey, are you going to Brad's party tonight?" I ask her, almost pleading.
"Later maybe, why are you?" She asks, almost surprised.
"Yeah. And you know my mom won't let me have a car, so..." I trail off.
"I'll drop you off, I should be there later though." She says with a slight emotion leaking through her tone. It said:

Come on you know you shouldn't go, girl. It's only going to start stuff!

I just ignored it and waited for her red PT Cruiser to show up. I walk down my drive way and open up her door. The feeling that someone was watching was clawing at the back of my head. I turn as I sit down in the leather seat of her car. Ms. Sharon was staring intently at me from her living room window, not looking happy, but not angry either. Steph drives off and her eyes follow us all the down street.
We pull up to Brad's house not 15 minutes later. I sit there for a second, staring forward, thinking back on what the dress was saying to me.
"Hun, you okay?" Steph's eyes were soft but her gaze was hard.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I mumble.
"Well call me if you need something, or if anything goes wrong. I'll be here in a heart beat." She didn't care if she said it, because she knows it's true; by the end of tonight, something will go wrong, I guarantee it.
"Thanks, hun. I will." I leaned over and gave her a hug, which she took.
I opened the door of the car and stepped out, smoothing the dress before I closed the door. I walked up the drive and smiled the whole time. I stand on his porch and took a big breath. 'Here we go. Everything or nothing.' I though to myself. I knock on the door as loud as I could, because it just sounded loud in there. Keith, a boy in my algebra class, opens the door and I smile.
"Carla, you look great," he tells me.
"Thanks, Keith," and I giggle. I hate it when I twirl my hair. Just as I look up I see Brad, but he didn't see me, so I ignore it. I didn't see it then, but there was something on Keith's face that lead me to the place in my mind that hold all of my worries. But I brushed it off.
I asked him, "So, may I come in?"
He chuckles and says, 'Sure, food's great. Pizza straight from Johnny's."
"Oh, I'm not so hungry, I kinda just had a smoothie." I smile because I couldn't slap my forehead there.
"Ha, okay. Then follow me, if your not hungry." He mumbles something under his breath and laughs. That didn't sound good and it gave me goosebumps. He grabbed my hand and lead me upstairs. My breath stared quickening. I didn't like where this was going. He lead me to Brad's parents' room and shut the door. I sit on the bed. My eyes widen and my body started shaking as he turned around.
"Alright, baby girl. Let's at it. I've heard Brad rejected you, but I won't." He chuckles and starts to unbutton his pants. I knew it. My best friend knew it. Even my damn dress knew it; I was about to get into some serious trouble.
"No, Keith, I don't want to." I told him the best I could without showing my fear through a shaky voice.
"Really now. When Brad doesn't, you want more. But when I am giving it to you, your rejecting?" He leans on top of me, chest to chest, hips to hips.
"Yes. I don't want to get into this with you. Don't do this..." I choke and my voice trails off.
"Carla, come on," Keith said, breathing down my neck.
"Keith, I still love him," I told him. I was one of the only things I thought of right quick that would maybe get him to stop.
"Why? He won't give you anything but trouble. He's just into sluts," Keith stated. This hurt, but it pissed me off.
"He loves me. So what am I?" I was yelling at him.
"Besides you!" Keith chuckled. "Come on, Carla!"
"Keith, stop," I demanded.
"Carla, please. You are such a tease," Keith spoke and laughed again. He stood up and completely unbuttoned his pants to show his boxers. He laid on me again. He had a boner. I shuddered.
I yelped. "Stop. Stop," I was almost in tears. I repeated this over and over and was pounding his chest to tell him to get off. Then Brad showed up.
"Get the hell out of my house, Keith," he said, glaring at him with fury and rage.
"Come on, man. You won't give her none," Keith declared overconfident, laughing at me, at him.
"Let her go," he told him, stepping forward, about ready to deck him in the jaw.
"Whatever," Keith shot at him, standing up, pulling his pants, and brushed pasted Brad.
"Brad!" I screamed in joy, tears leaking from my eyes. He just saved me.
"Go home," he demanded, not touching me.
"What? Why?" I asked him,crushed and stared into his eyes.
"You can't handle yourself. You were about to get raped, in my house," he muttered, sitting down on the bed.
"He wasn't going to, Brad. He was just kidding," I tried to explain, shaking, trying to convince myself.
"You believe that?" he asked me, meeting my lazied gaze.
"Well, Brad...." I choked, starting to cry harder.
"Go home. Please," he spoke, pleading. He was holding back tears.
"Fine," I told him, storming out of the room, small rivers streaming down my face again.
I was at the bottom of the stairs when someone grabbed me and I yelped in fear.
"Hun, hun, it's okay. It's just me." I knew who, too. Steph.
"What are you doing here? I thought you said you'd be here later..." I looked her, helpless.
"You boob dialed me." Her face was hard. I went pale. I quickly dug around in my bra and found that she was right' a 20 minute call was last placed to none other than... Stephanie McCray. I took a deep breath and tried to look strong. But I just broke down. She held me tight as I cried. She petted my head, but I realized that everyone was watching. I looked up and saw that everyone was staring at me. I pushed Steph aside and ran out to the yard next to her car. I huddled against her PT and pressed my knees to my chest. I rocked my body back and forth on the hard concrete and fell to my side, scraping my arm and elbow and shaking, shuddering.
My body felt as if it were going into rigor; felt as though I were dying. Then my whole world when black, every sound diminished, and my breath quickened to fast.
"I'm going to die... I'm doing to die... God help me... Why did they do this to me?"