There's No Way To Fix Us

*Brad*
I don't know why I'm making this decision. She's my princess, my baby girl. I love her so much, yet I can't do this to her. I can't let her stay with someone she doesn't know.
She is perfect in every way. I can't bear to see her face when I do it.
Text her? I can do that. I know I shouldn't do it like this, but it'll be easier for both of us.
I slowly type "I'm so sorry but I have to break up with you."
I know she'll be crushed. 5 days from our 1 year mark. It isn't fair to her, but I can't do it anymore.
I couldn't date her. Not when I couldn't tell her the truth.
After having to deal with these anger management problems, I didn't want to hit her. It's only gotten worse, and I can't hurt her.
She doesn't know, but I still cut too. It feels great, but she hates it. She doesn't want me to hurt myself. If I stop though, the anger will get terrible.
I'm afraid to hurt her. In any way. I want to have sex with her, but I don't want to get her pregnant. She wouldn't survive it. She's too young for me to ruin her life.
Everytime I smoke, dip, or drink, I feel bad. She hates my dipping, smoking, and excessive drinking, but I'm going to die eventually.
There are so many problems. She wants to think I'm great when I do horrible things. I can't keep putting her in danger.
It's the best choice. For her, at least. I know I'll regret it, but I can't keep doing it. Hurting her because of who I am and the choices I make.
When she doesn't text me back, I figure she is just upset with me.
I get dressed and I know I'll see her later. Then, if she wants it, I'll explain everything. Let her know it's for her. Only if she wants me to.
I know she will be fine, after crying and talking to her friends about me. She will get over it soon.
It won't get bad. I'm not her world. I can't be. She will get over it by the end of this week.