Between Black and White

I ran along the edge of the wheat field, my head bent to watch my feet and my dress pulled up away from the dirt. I had an hour at the most before I had to be back home. My parents really didn’t like it when I was out after dark, and had demanded that I was back before it was dark. That was fine by me, I didn’t really want to be out after dark anyways.

All day, every day, it was just work, work, work. When I wasn’t helping Mother cook, clean, or taking care of my baby brother Samuel, I was either studying the Bible or sewing. Mother really wanted me to be a seamstress for our town, and I just did what I was told.

But it seemed like I was busy every waking moment, and like my mind never got a chance to just relax. So that’s why I had taken to getting away and going to a grassy hill at dusk, so that my mind could relax and wander. I could daydream as I laid in the tall, tickling grass, looking up into the fading grey sky. The very thought of doing this made me pick up my pace. I reached the end of the wheat field and I started down the narrow path between the wheat and the hay, my dress thwapping at the stalks. Just on the north side of our two fields was the very hill I liked to sit and think at. I was sprinting now, the sensation of my yellow hair being blown behind me was exhilarating, pushing me to get to my escape even faster. In seconds, I was running up the hill and I stopped, panting, at the top. I let go of my dress hems and sat in the grass, looking out over the fields, hill, and trees of Pennsylvania.

Wheat and hay grew in neat rows, and so did the occasional strawberry patches. Our family was currently picking our berries, and Father and Amos would start on the hay in mid-July. Between our house and our barn, way far away in the distance, I could see the glow of electric city lights. I gave them a dark look. We didn’t need their sinful technology; besides, it would only lead them all to Hell someday. And I was perfectly happy with my candles and our hand-made tiny piano in the parlor.

It was one thing that really irritated me, and that was how dependant the world seemed to be on their electronics. It’s not like they were really making anyone any happier, it was just complicating things and making people lazier than they already were. It was just so wrong, and I was glad that there were some people in the world like my family and my town who the Lord had blessed with the abilities to live humbly like we were meant to.

It was like a constant struggle, our way of life, and the ways of life of the city people. Amish vs. Contemporary, Good vs. Evil, White vs. Black. Like some kind of test that the Lord has set for all the people of the land, tempting them with “great” ways of life like that of the city people. Well, this was one girl who would pass the test. I loved my way of life, even though it was strenuous.

The last rays of sunlight were finally starting to fall away, and the lovely grey skies began to fully emerge. I laid back in the grass, watching the clouds above me. My mind started to wander, and I lost myself in a daydream of all sorts of fantastical things.

A giggle over off in the trees woke me up. Who was out here? It sure didn’t sound like anyone I knew. I stood up carefully and crept over to the part of the hill that faced away from my house and where the trees and shrubs began to get thick. There was the giggle again, and I started creeping through the bushes. I knew I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but I promised myself I wouldn’t. I would just see who was there and then leave.

I parted some bushes silently and looking down, found two teens about my age lying in the grass, a boy and a girl. They were obviously not from my town, as they were wearing jeans and sweatshirts, with some kind of white wire that I thought were connected to a music device trailing from one of each of their ears. They didn’t see me, but I could see them, and by the looks of it, they were too wrapped up in each other they wouldn’t be noticing me any time soon.

I was about to leave when they started talking.

“It’s so nice up here Brad, I’m glad you brought me here,” said the girl, cuddling up closer to the boy, her dirty blonde hair tangled.

“It’s great, isn’t it Jade? It’s so nice to just get out of the city and go sit in the country where it’s nice and quiet…”

“Yeah. I kind of envy those Amish people, their lives must be so much less stressful than ours,” commented the girl.

The boy started laughed. “What, you can’t really be serious!”

“I am! Think about it, they don’t have to deal with all the shit we do, like gossiping and worrying about our jobs in the future and money and all that stuff. Sure, they don’t have iPods, probably don’t know who blink-182 is, and have to do everything by hand, but to me, that just seems… peaceful.”

I left after that, creeping away at first, but then running back down the hill to the wheat field. I really, honestly couldn’t believe what that girl had said. She sounded like she actually thought my way of life was a good one, something to be looked up too, unlike a lot of people I had heard talking, who thought we were just ignorant fools. I started to maybe second-guess my earlier thoughts. What if it wasn’t a good and evil, or black and white struggle? They weren’t all bad, and we certainly weren’t all completely good. What if… what if we were all meant to be a mix? Grey, like the sky?

Was this the test the Lord had in store for me?

But just as the first stars were starting to shine, my mother’s voice broke across the air like a fish being pulled in from the water.

“KAAAAA-TIEEE!”

So I took off at a run back to the house, and back home, where I felt I could maybe, just maybe, start a change in my own way of thinking.

Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes.