Status: active(:
Crawling in the Dark
First Move
Xenith
What went on in my head those days was mostly limited to three categories.
One: Cursing myself for being such a pussy that I couldn't even confess my feelings.
Two: Pining after the girl of my dreams (I wonder who that was).
Three: Hating the monster that I was.
Self loathing was at an time high, especially after the happenings in the alleyway which, due to my conscience, were less and less frequent lately. Although, perhaps they wouldn't have to end if I just confessed.... But, unfortunately the chances of that happening were... Well, nonexistent.
It's not like I wasn't confessing because I feared her reaction (well, maybe that was part of it)... With my love for her grew my fear of screwing shit up. I couldn't even look in the mirror. My face wasn't even mine. How could I trust a face that didn't belong to me? I couldn't even trust my own face.
Thankfully, I wasn't left to screw things up any more, because one of Charlie's friends decided I needed a push in the right direction (which I did).
Pandora came up to me as I headed for my 7th period class.
"Hey, X," she called.
I nodded.
"So, about Charlie."
I sighed.
Wrong move.
"Don't you EVEN give me sass! I see what you're trying to hide, mister. Yeah, I gotcha. And dude, make a move, already! Seriously, I'm gonna grow a fucking beard by the time you two get your shit together!" I opened my mouth to interrupt. "Go ahead, try to deny! Lover boy, the only person who can't see the absolute adoration in your eyes is the person who the aforementioned adoration is directed towards. And In case you are just as oblivious as her, she feels the EXACT SAME WAY! So talk to her, ask her out, do something! Motherfucker, kiss her SOBER! I know you know what I'm talking about so quit the naive shit! I won't tolerate some selfish bastard using my friend so stop the alleyway crap. This is a bookstore, not a library! There are no rentals, so buy something or GET THE FUCK OUT!"
I didn't even get a chance to respond before she stormed down the hallway like a super pissed off tornado. It's not like there was anything I could say to that.
All of my self loathing was pushed out of my head. All that was left was determination.
This was going to take some fucking guts.
What went on in my head those days was mostly limited to three categories.
One: Cursing myself for being such a pussy that I couldn't even confess my feelings.
Two: Pining after the girl of my dreams (I wonder who that was).
Three: Hating the monster that I was.
Self loathing was at an time high, especially after the happenings in the alleyway which, due to my conscience, were less and less frequent lately. Although, perhaps they wouldn't have to end if I just confessed.... But, unfortunately the chances of that happening were... Well, nonexistent.
It's not like I wasn't confessing because I feared her reaction (well, maybe that was part of it)... With my love for her grew my fear of screwing shit up. I couldn't even look in the mirror. My face wasn't even mine. How could I trust a face that didn't belong to me? I couldn't even trust my own face.
Thankfully, I wasn't left to screw things up any more, because one of Charlie's friends decided I needed a push in the right direction (which I did).
Pandora came up to me as I headed for my 7th period class.
"Hey, X," she called.
I nodded.
"So, about Charlie."
I sighed.
Wrong move.
"Don't you EVEN give me sass! I see what you're trying to hide, mister. Yeah, I gotcha. And dude, make a move, already! Seriously, I'm gonna grow a fucking beard by the time you two get your shit together!" I opened my mouth to interrupt. "Go ahead, try to deny! Lover boy, the only person who can't see the absolute adoration in your eyes is the person who the aforementioned adoration is directed towards. And In case you are just as oblivious as her, she feels the EXACT SAME WAY! So talk to her, ask her out, do something! Motherfucker, kiss her SOBER! I know you know what I'm talking about so quit the naive shit! I won't tolerate some selfish bastard using my friend so stop the alleyway crap. This is a bookstore, not a library! There are no rentals, so buy something or GET THE FUCK OUT!"
I didn't even get a chance to respond before she stormed down the hallway like a super pissed off tornado. It's not like there was anything I could say to that.
All of my self loathing was pushed out of my head. All that was left was determination.
This was going to take some fucking guts.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry guys, uber short chapter. I just wanted to do the next one in CPOV! I hope you enjoyed Pandora's rant. Sorry for the language, it was necessary!