Smiling at Everything

The members of RxN sat on the couches provided by the organizations for the interview. The two red couches were separated by a single lounge chair, stationed in its spot so the interviewer could see all the members equally. Three members sat on each couch: Neon, Lestat and Dante on one, Jazz, Dorian, and Arpeggio on the other. For All Time Low's interview, which happened earlier, it had been two and two: Alex and Rian on one and Zack and Jack on the other.

The members of All Time Low were standing behind the soon-to-be rolling camera. RxN watched them and they would return the favor. Neon's children were with them, sleeping in their father's and Jack's arms. They wouldn't be making an appearance during the interviews. They never did.

Jazz sat with her back straight, smile forced across her face, while Dorian rambled off another story about life on a bus without her.

Dorian was going through separation anxiety.

"Sorry I took so long," the interviewer said, taking a seat at his chair and successfully ending Dorian's story, "I had to get a few things settled before this interview."

"It's fine," Neon returned.

"Let's get the camera rolling and start this interview, shall we?"

"Of course."

The interviewer nodded to the cameraman. The red light on the camera switched on, signaling they were filming.

"Hi, I'm Ryan Lane and here with me today are the members of RxN," the interviewer said, "How are you all doing."

"Fantastic," Neon replied.

"Couldn't be better," Lestat said.

"That's great to hear," Ryan said, "So you guys just started a tour a few days ago. Why don't you tell the viewers a little bit about that?"

"The tour is called the After School Special tour and its being hosted by To Write Love On Her Arms and LOVE 146," Neon stated.

"The name comes from after school specials that used to play when we were kids. Things would get bad but would resolve over time. Both organizations do encourage the idea that things get better, sometimes with excruciating work and sometimes without any work at all," Lestat continued.

"This tour is about two months long and covers a variety of areas so we encourage everyone to come out and see us," Dante said, "A portion of the profits from our merch booths go to the organizations. It's awesome because we're giving kids the opportunity to contribute to these organizations when they may not have gotten the chance otherwise."

"We also get to educate our fans on issues they may not be aware of. Not every teenager knows what trafficking is. But we get to inform them and give them organizations that are trying to help end problems like that so they can find another way to contribute if they want," Arpeggio said, "And we can show them organizations that are existent to help them. If they feel they're drowning too deep in a problem, they know they're not alone. Sometimes that's the best thing to be aware of."

"You guys are strong supporters of these organizations, and there's a clear connection you have with To Write Love On Her Arms," the interviewer stated, "Arpeggio, you've admitted to attempting suicide and speak often about the issue."

"Yes, I do. I'm a member of the To Write Love On Her Arms team," Arpeggio said.

"Neon, you also have a problem you've faced that you're open about: your eating disorder. You don't have the same outlet Arpeggio has through an organization. Are you planning on creating your own?"

"There are already a few eating disorder awareness organizations out there. I don't know if I'll try making one of my own though. It seems like a huge task," Neon answered.

"But you could probably handle it."

"Maybe," Neon laughed.

"Obviously you two aren't the only ones who have something that you've faced and you guys did a special shoot for the tour showcasing some of those problems."

"There's one purely fictional shoot," Lestat said, "And I'd like to make clear that though we've never outright stated those problems, we've never actually hidden them."

"Right," Dorian cut in, "No one's asked so we've never had a reason to talk about anything."

"Then let's talk about them now," the interviewer said, "Lestat, your shoot was oriented around alcoholism and Dante, you were featured in the shoot as a sort of support for him. Any comments?"

"I suffered from alcoholism at a young age," Lestat said, "I drank for the first time when I thirteen and I quickly found it a good way to escape from my family life. My father was abusive to my brother, my mother, and me. My mom always made excuses for him. I was actually the one who got her to divorce him when I was ten. But I was always really angry that she wanted to stay with this man who would hurt her and her children. Alcohol was readily accessible and I took to it like a fish to water."

"He didn't try getting help. He never wanted help," Dante said, "When the band first started, we realized he had a problem with drinking. He denied, we fought him on it, and we were the ones to help him through it."

"Dante had a major hand in helping Lestat," Dorian commented, "He would constantly take alcohol away from him, would deal with him throughout his hangovers and relapses. Dante was on it."

"Dante was stern with me," Lestat stated, "He yelled in my ear during a few intense hangovers to prove a point and made sure I understood the consequences of my actions. But he took care of me and made sure nothing too bad happened."

"You two must be close then," the interviewer commented.

"Like brothers," Dante said.

"But everyone in our band is pretty close," Lestat said.

"That tends to happen in bands," the interviewer said, "Dante, you don't have a shoot highlighting any problem. Is there anything you went through that was particularly troubling for you?"

"I have an intense fear of needles," Dante said, "When I was younger, my mother was pregnant. She had to go through a set of Rh shots to make sure she could have the baby without complication. The needle the nurse used was infected and no one knew. My mother ended up with HIV and she died of AIDS a year after my sister was born. I was about five at the time so the event was extremely traumatic for me. Unfortunately, they didn't catch the illness in time so my sister has been infected with HIV since birth. She's eighteen now, still living, thank God. But I've had problems with needles since then."

"Which is weird because he sews almost daily," Neon said.

"My mother used to sew. And I make sure my needles as sterilized."

"That's true," Arpeggio said, "Dante has an extreme needle cleaning ritual. If it's not done, he won't use the needle."

"You guys haven't done anything to try to get him over his problem?" the interviewer asked.

"We tried. His sister tried. There's nothing that can be done," Lestat said, "He's too damn stubborn about it."

"It's not a problem that needs fixing," Dante said.

"It's understandable that you're afraid. After losing your mother and having a sibling infected before either of you were knowledgeable on the disease would cause a great deal trauma," the interviewer said, "Dorian, you're shoot was based on a coming out story in which a lot of abuse is seen. Is that fictional?"

"Not at all. I was one of those teens whose father didn't want a gay male for a son. I think we both knew from the beginning that I was gay because he pushed hard to get me involved in masculine activities. A great deal harder than he pushed my older siblings. When I came out, he beat the hell out of me and kicked me out. I moved in with Joseph Alan's family. His parents were incredible and they still treat me like I'm their son. I'm dating Joseph though, so that might be why. Everyone was there for me through it all," Dorian said.

"Have you reconnected with your dad?"

"I haven't gotten the chance to try. He moved out of the state. I don't think he wants to reconnect."

"That's terrible."

Dorian shrugged, "I don't really care anymore. I'm happy where I am."

"You've grown from the situation. That's something to be proud of," the interviewer said, "Jazz, your shoot incorporates a student-teacher affair. Have you ever had any relationship with your teachers, consensual or forced?"

Jazz's smile tightened across her face. Before she could answer, Dorian cut in.

"Jazz isn't a rape victim. They tend to be really sad and lose motivation. Not to mention they close off from everyone."

"He's right," Lestat stated, "Jazz is always happy and bubbly. She loves people. As far as motivation goes, she's always done amazing in school and with the band. She has a genius IQ. There's no way she could have suffered from rape."

"Plus, she would have told us. We're her friends," Neon said.

Guilt weighed on Jazz's mind. She should have told them. She didn't like lying. But she couldn't tell them.

"So, Jazz, you've never been raped?" the interviewer asked.

"Of course not," Jazz responded, keeping a smile on her face.

"Well, that's not what I've heard."