Sick or Sane

"What's your name?" she asked as we headed for the hotel room.

"Bill," I answered bluntly.

"Well Bill, what would you like tonight?" She giggled.

"I want you to tie me to the bed of my mistakes," I said quietly.

"What did you say, darlin'?"

"Nothing. Just give me what I paid for," I said coldly, sliding a key card in the door. It clicked open.

"Don't worry, honey. I'll give ya' a good time." She grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me inside the room.
I locked the door, making sure there was no way she could open it.
She pushed me against the wall and slowly slid her hand down my chest.

"Let's give you what you paid for, big boy." She purred and slowly walked towards the bed.
I sauntered over to her. She doesn't know what's going to happen.

"Kiss me like I paid for this," I whispered crawling on top of her.

My hands slid under her shimmery top and brushed against her breasts. She wrapped her legs around my waist as I grabbed hold of her. She unbuttoned my shirt and slid her hands down towards my stomach. My heart was pounding with anticipation. I left trails of kisses on her neck. As soon as she started for my pants I grabbed her hands.

"You're a rough one aren't you?" She said seductively.

"You haven't seen rough," I growled and brought her imprisoned wrist above her head. I continued to kiss her.

"Ow darlin' you're getting a little too rough," I didn't hear her. I was lost in my mind. The throbbing of it. The voice inside telling me how to get rid of the pain.

I wanted the pain to stop. So I listened.

"Ow stop. Stop that hurts!" She continues, pain lacing her voice. But it was too late, there was no turning back. There were no second thoughts left in my head. I bit into her neck and a piercing scream came with it. She kneed me and I grunted in pain.

She clutched her neck, "you bastard!" She started for the door but I regained myself and tackled her to the floor, holding her in place.

"Get off me! You asshole, let me go!" She struggled trying to push me off.

There was a part of me -maybe the last sane part- that wanted to stop, let her go, and beg for her forgiveness. But the pain increased and the insane part took over once more.
I grabbed a lamp from the nightstand and brought it above my head.

Do it... the voice inside my head whispered.

She started screaming.

I looked into her eyes and saw fear clouding them. I found that oddly comforting. To have her yelling, begging me not to kill her.

I felt like...God.

I brought the lamp down to her face and the screams grew louder then...silence. Blood seeped out and landed on me. Every time the lamp and her face connected there was a sound. A sound of sweet bliss.

I continued until I heard the sirens coming.

By the time the police got inside, there was blood everywhere and she was unrecognizable.

"Oh my god," one of the police men said, horrified at the scene before him. There was that word again. God.

I knew what he was seeing. The girl, bloody and disheveled. Me, holding the lamp and smiling menacingly. The wall behind her was red like anger, and the room looked as if a tornado had hit.

Someone took hold of me and then...darkness.

---

"Isn't he the head doctor here?" Someone asked with disbelief lacing their voice.

"Yes." Another said bluntly.

"What's wrong with him? What do the test say?" The first voice yelled hysterically.

"Nothing! They say nothing is wrong with him..."
The white coats just don't get it. I'm a genius with a headache.

"He's just...sick. You should have seen what he did," The blunt voice came again.

Am I a little sick or a little sane? I don't feel sick, but I don't feel sane.
I started to stir.

"He's waking up!" Someone yells in horror.

"Hold him down!"

I didn't struggle as the bright lights of the hospital blinded me. I felt fear and anger in the air around me.

"Sedate him and take him away," A nurse said.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked weakly.

"Where you belong," The officer from the hotel said to me, and once again I was swallowed by darkness.
---

"He's coming around," I heard someone say faintly.

"Doctor, can you hear me? Doctor!" I felt hands grab me.
I regained full consciousness and found 5 people crowding me.

"What happened?" I ask sitting up. The floor was cold or maybe it was just me that was cold.

"You fell. The janitor was mopping and you must have not seen the wet floor sign," A nurse said concern in her voice.

I looked over to find water and blood dancing along each other.

"We stopped the bleeding. No concussion, " said the nurse again.

"That's...good." I said.

"Doctor maybe we should-" I cut her off.

"I'm fine, Janice. Go back to work now." I said firmly and stood. The crowd dispersed and I was alone.

"Nothing but a dream," I whispered to myself and turned to go.

Deep down inside of me I knew...it was nothing but the truth.