Love Like Woe

Arriving was somewhat disorienting. I was in a different country, practically on the other side of the world and I hadn’t the slightest idea how to find you. The city was a very wise hiding place but who said that this was even your original destination? You could have decided to leave and go to some of the outlying regions.

Or maybe you were staying with someone. A friend or something more? You’d probably be asleep right now from the plane ride. So what was I going to do now? Wait? That didn’t sound very appealing. Where have you always wanted to go?

The Louvre, Notre Dame, there’s just so many.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

The Eiffel Tower. You said the first thing you would want to do in Paris was visit the Eiffel Tower for a day. Knowing you that means you would want to spend a whole twenty-four hours. I hope I’m right; otherwise I’m out of options.

Everything was in metric here. And mostly in French. It was hard to navigate myself through the area once I had gotten a hold of a map. It took me almost two hours seeing as I had to stop at a store for supplies. I had enough common sense to transfer enough money over into Euros. It was very hard to find a store open at 10 at night but I found one, luckily.

My heart was racing and my head was pounding. I was full of jitters looking for you around that magnificent statue. I needed you so much. If you rejected me I don’t know what I would do with myself. Nothing probably. I’d just sit around hoping that you would change your mind and wait until you left again, and then the cycle would repeat. If that’s what you wanted that’s what you would get.

If you did go along with my plan would you regret it later? Would you wake up one day and realize that you made the wrong decision? I would never want you to resent me for this.

Of course if this was really something you didn’t want you would say no. You always have had a way to get what you want and to avoid what you don’t. So either way you’ll be happy, right? At least for a little while.

You’ve always searched for that one thing that you needed most in life and I’m trying to show you it’s me.

I finally spotted you. You were lying on the ground staring at the night sky. Everything was illuminated so well and your features seemed to be glowing.

I took out the sketch pad that I had recently purchased and the blue marker and wrote down the words you needed to hear a long time ago. You once told me that written words were closer to the heart than spoken ones so I hoped this would work.

Through all the years we had been together we’d never spoken these precious words to each other. Not once. I’ve tried to work up the courage to many times but I never wanted to be shut down. Now it doesn’t matter because if you were to shut me down it wouldn’t be because I said I loved you, because I know you love me too.

I called your name loud enough for you to hear me, but from a safe distance away. I had the words facing me so you couldn’t see them until I was ready.

You were startled when you saw me standing there. You called out my name and arose from the ground. That’s when I turned the book. Your eyes went wide and you brought your hands to cover your mouth. You were shocked to say the least. I had surprised my little natural disaster.

You started running for me, arms opened wide and you ran into my embrace. Tears were leaking from your eyes as you told me you loved me too.

I wasn’t satisfied yet.

I pulled away slightly so I could see into your eyes. I just starred at you for the longest time, a smile on both of our lips. Then I leaned your forehead against mine gently and I popped the question. I asked you to elope with me, not marry, but elope. Marriage suggests planning but eloping is a spur of the moment idea, one that I always figured you’d love, and requires very little.

My heart beat was so loud I feared I wouldn’t be able to hear your reply. It didn’t matter though because all you did was nod your head yes as more tears started. I was so fucking happy.

I picked you up, you wrapped your legs around me and we shared the best kiss of my life. I hadn’t even realized that a small crowed had formed until after we had pulled away and the applause became noticeable. We both laughed a little at that.

You’re eyes just showed happiness and you just kept repeating ‘my Lake’ over and over again.

And I could call you mine too.