29 Ways to Get Rid of Your Roommate

I got back to find Alex asleep on the couch. He looked so peaceful. His eyelids would flutter every once and a while, his pale pink lips were parted slightly with soft snores coming from them. That’s the only reason why I couldn’t kick him out on the first day, because of his snoring. I told my parents that if my roommate snores, she’s out, simple as that. Little did I know that it'd actually be a guy.

I placed my hand on my head as I left the living room. My head’s throbbing and I feel kinda weird. I walked into the room to find Georgey asleep as well. Roger told me that he has to be fed every four hours, so I’m assuming Alex fed him or he’d be up.

I went to walk into the bathroom and tripped over nothing. The shelf in the bathroom came crashing down on me and I screamed in terror as little do-dads and thing-a-ma-bobs bombed me. Alex ran into the bathroom and pulled the damn thing off me. I had a gash on my arm from a crystal bowl that I use to hold ponytails.

“Are you okay?” he said as he set the shelf upright. I shook my head and whimpered, trying my hardest not to look at my arm. I may be strong most of the time, but I’m weak when it comes to blood. Especially my blood. I can't stand the sight of my own blood.

“Oh gods, that looks nasty.” He muttered as he helped me off the ground. He set me on the bathroom counter like a child, carefully stepping around the shattered glass. “You sure know how to make an entrance.” He laughed as he looked under the sink for the first aid kit. I glared at him and he laughed again.

“It’s not my fault. I’m zonked from the fire and staying out late with Mike.” He looked up and me suddenly.

“Fire? What fire?” he said rapidly, completely forgetting to search for the first aid kit.

“There was an arson fire at Starbuck’s. Mike stayed until the EMTs were done checking me out and we hung out after. The EMTs told me I might be a little out of it soon from the fumes.” I said, well more slurred. My brain was starting to go fuzzy. I think I might’ve hit it when I went down. Wait, I meant my head. I can't hit my brain; not unless I take it out and whack it on something. But I'm almost certain that'll kill me.

“Look at me.” He said, standing in front of me. I zoned back in and looked at my arm only to see a wet washcloth pressed to it. Good, no blood. I hate blood.

“Look at me.” He said firmly and gripped my face. Oh, I forgot that he spoke. I looked into his melted chocolate eyes and became immediately entranced like I had the day he first arrived. One of the most attractive things on a man are his eyes and Alex sure had some sexy ones.

“Your pupils are dilated, are you feeling okay?”

“The EMT said this might happen. Dilated pupils, confusion, illogical thinking, and nausea. He, or was it a she, yeah she, no it was definitely a he, or maybe…” I trailed off thinking about the actual sex of the EMT. I can’t really remember.

“I’m calling 911.” Alex said and started to leave. I freaked out and grabbed onto his arm.

“Please don’t leave me here alone. What if I hurt myself again?!” I squeaked out. I’m a danger to myself, but Alex can protect me. He’s strong enough. I looked at the muscles slightly hidden under the long sleeve shirt he wore. They rippled as he moved his arm. Yummy. And suddenly I was in the air.

“Holy fuck! What’re you doing?!” I squealed.

“You told me not to leave you but I have to go get the phone so you’re coming with me.” He said matter-of-factly as he me carried bridal style into the living room.

“Why can’t I walk? Oh gods, am I paralyzed?!” I started hyperventilating.

”Are you hemophobic?” he asked as he picked up the phone and carried me into the kitchen. I nodded my head, not seeing how that relates to my sudden paralysis.

“Okay, well don’t look but you cut your leg too.” He said and set me on the counter. I looked down at my leg and immediately felt sick. I hate blood. Oh wait, haven't I thought that before...?

“I told you not to look!” Alex yelled. His voice seemed to echo around the room.

“Don’t yell at me!” I screamed, forgetting about my churning stomach. He just shook his head and dialed 911.

“Hello, my name is Alex Johnson. I’m calling because my friend was involved in the fire at the Starbuck’s on the college campus. Yeah, she’s been checked out, or at least that’s what she tells me. …Well, she’s acting weird. …Yeah, her pupils are dilated and she’s severely confused. …Oh really, well is there anything I can do? …Just keep her up and if it worsens to take her to the ER? How will I know if it worsens? …Well, damn. Okay, I’ll watch for that. Okay, thank you, bye.”

Alex hung up and looked at me. I stared into his gorgeous eyes. Who was he talking to? “The operator said to not worry, just keep you up for 24 hours, and if you start puking black stuff then take you to the hospital. Oh and if you stop breathing, then call back.” He said.

He then held my face in his hands and searched my eyes. I leaned into his hands and sighed contently, he’s so warm. And his hands are so… sexy? They’re slightly calloused, especially at the tips of his fingers, and big. Big hands are a turn on, Jared had smallish hands. Alex retracted his hands quickly, but had to place them on my arms to keep me from falling over. I wasn’t balanced, I was leaning into him. He just shook his head and said “Okay, I’m going to go get the first aid kit. Try not to hurt yourself while I’m gone.”

He walked away and I watched him leave. Damn, that boy has a nice ass. I leaned over some more to watch him and fell face first off the counter and onto the floor. “Owwie, owwie, owwie!” I screamed and held my face. Alex ran back into the kitchen and threw the first aid kit aside, rushing over to me.

“Are you okay? What happened?” He held my face in his hands again, but didn’t look at my eyes.

“Fuck.” He muttered. My eyes stung and my nose hurt. I felt like I had a runny nose, so when he looked away I wiped under my nose. I screamed bloody murder when I saw the blood on my hand. He looked back at me and pressed a cold cloth to my nose. Woah, where did that come from?! He then place my hand over it and applied pressure.

“Stay like that for a bit and don’t look at your hand.” He said that as I looked at my hand. I suddenly got lightheaded and fell backwards. I hit my head before he could catch me.

“Fucking A, Arley! Stop moving before you kill yourself.” I laughed at the sight of him staring down at me. He’s so cute and funny. How come I never saw the real him before?