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Just a Handful of Letters
Andrew - A Little Piece of My Mind
You know, you shouldn't get today's letter? You're my ex. This isn't supposed to be, but it said 'your crush' and you were the first to come into my head. Go figure. I always did care too much. We dated for 2 months and 3 weeks, to the day, yeah. I remember. You broke up with me 2 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days ago, yeah, I remember that too. But I'm not keeping track. I had to count off on my fingers. But you know something else? Did you know that even if I'm not counting the days, I still think about it every day.
Somewhere we made a mistake. Maybe it was me asking you to Sadie's. Maybe it was you saying yes.Maybe it was you saying that dancing with me made you happy and that it felt right. Maybe it was me writing that note on Valentine's day. Maybe it was you checking yes. Maybe it was the letter I wrote and sent home with you two weekends later. Maybe it was you coming back and saying that you did want to talk. Maybe it was me asnwering the questions that night the way I did. Maybe it was you saying yes that night. Maybe it was us staying together but not spending that much time together. Maybe it was that 3 weeks of the 2 months and 3 weeks we dated was spring break, 9 days of that I was in Europe and we couldn't talk. Maybe it was that a week after school started again, I had to leave for a week for my grandpa's funeral. AMybe it was me thinking you cared enough to talk to me, or even just sit on the other end of the phone while I cried. Maybe it was stayign together after that. Maybe it was me never saying it was over all those nights you didn't want to spend with me. Maybe it was the weekend before school was over, the weekend I asked you what we were going to do after school was out. Maybe it was the night before the last exam, when you decided to go to that stupid pizza party instead of spending one last hour with me.Maybe it was all those nights you did walk with me, did talk to me, when you'd give me a hug goodnight, maybe it was that I didn't say what I mouthed. Maybe it was always mouthing that I love you, but never saying it out loud. Maybe it was after Commencement concert, when I said I wanted to talk to you. Maybe it was actually talking to you. Maybe it was ending it. I don't know what the mistake was, or where it went wrong, but maybe you do.
There was a mistake, whether it was starting it, ending it, or somewhere in between. Maybe you just didn't care enough. And maybe saying goodbye hurt you as bad as it hurt me. I honestly don't have a clue, but something needs done. Either you need to say you never cared, or maybe you need to say you miss me too. Whatever is said, maybe that will get it through my thick skull. When you said goodbye, you said it wouldn't work because the distance would be too much. But something in my head, or maybe in my heart says distance isn't a good enoguh reason to actually say goodbye.
You know, my friends think I'm crazy for still caring this way. They think it's insane. But they can't understance how much you meant to me. How much you changed me for the better. Maybe you don't even realize it. But all those nights you said you didn't want to talk to me, or go on a walk, all those nights you played D&D instead spending the night with me somewhere, those nights taught me to be patient, and to forgive. Patience and forgiveness are the two best things a person can teach someone. You taught me both in the 3 short months we were together.
Your sister even thinks I'm crazy because I don't plan on looking for another guy this school year, but she doesn't get on what level I care about you. Maybe it's just that it's your sister, and she doesn't want to see it, but maybe it just hasn't hit people that I can fall in love, not say anything about it, and then I can't get over the person. Maybe no one wants to believe that a 16 year old can fall in love with someone in 3 months and then have it still be true over 2 months later.
I really don't know what's going on right now, but I know two things. I still love you. And I still miss you, more than anything.
Me
Somewhere we made a mistake. Maybe it was me asking you to Sadie's. Maybe it was you saying yes.Maybe it was you saying that dancing with me made you happy and that it felt right. Maybe it was me writing that note on Valentine's day. Maybe it was you checking yes. Maybe it was the letter I wrote and sent home with you two weekends later. Maybe it was you coming back and saying that you did want to talk. Maybe it was me asnwering the questions that night the way I did. Maybe it was you saying yes that night. Maybe it was us staying together but not spending that much time together. Maybe it was that 3 weeks of the 2 months and 3 weeks we dated was spring break, 9 days of that I was in Europe and we couldn't talk. Maybe it was that a week after school started again, I had to leave for a week for my grandpa's funeral. AMybe it was me thinking you cared enough to talk to me, or even just sit on the other end of the phone while I cried. Maybe it was stayign together after that. Maybe it was me never saying it was over all those nights you didn't want to spend with me. Maybe it was the weekend before school was over, the weekend I asked you what we were going to do after school was out. Maybe it was the night before the last exam, when you decided to go to that stupid pizza party instead of spending one last hour with me.Maybe it was all those nights you did walk with me, did talk to me, when you'd give me a hug goodnight, maybe it was that I didn't say what I mouthed. Maybe it was always mouthing that I love you, but never saying it out loud. Maybe it was after Commencement concert, when I said I wanted to talk to you. Maybe it was actually talking to you. Maybe it was ending it. I don't know what the mistake was, or where it went wrong, but maybe you do.
There was a mistake, whether it was starting it, ending it, or somewhere in between. Maybe you just didn't care enough. And maybe saying goodbye hurt you as bad as it hurt me. I honestly don't have a clue, but something needs done. Either you need to say you never cared, or maybe you need to say you miss me too. Whatever is said, maybe that will get it through my thick skull. When you said goodbye, you said it wouldn't work because the distance would be too much. But something in my head, or maybe in my heart says distance isn't a good enoguh reason to actually say goodbye.
You know, my friends think I'm crazy for still caring this way. They think it's insane. But they can't understance how much you meant to me. How much you changed me for the better. Maybe you don't even realize it. But all those nights you said you didn't want to talk to me, or go on a walk, all those nights you played D&D instead spending the night with me somewhere, those nights taught me to be patient, and to forgive. Patience and forgiveness are the two best things a person can teach someone. You taught me both in the 3 short months we were together.
Your sister even thinks I'm crazy because I don't plan on looking for another guy this school year, but she doesn't get on what level I care about you. Maybe it's just that it's your sister, and she doesn't want to see it, but maybe it just hasn't hit people that I can fall in love, not say anything about it, and then I can't get over the person. Maybe no one wants to believe that a 16 year old can fall in love with someone in 3 months and then have it still be true over 2 months later.
I really don't know what's going on right now, but I know two things. I still love you. And I still miss you, more than anything.
Me