A Life Time of Ice Time

“Taylor, stand up straight.” This only caused me to slouch over more as Sarah quietly hissed in my ear. “It's not ladylike to slouch.” I rolled my eyes and kept my position in front of my uncle where he was rambling on about some boring war story.

“You'll never guess what happened then Tay,” he leaned forward with his breath reeking of wine.

I scrunched up my face and resisted the urge to back away. “Someone got shot?”

He smiled crookedly down at me. “Have I told you this story before?” I smiled weakly back at him and tried to inconspicuously scan the room for an escape.

“Taylor!” For the first time in my life I was actually glad that Sarah called me away. She was looking pointedly at me from across the room with a small smile on her face that made me nervous.“Can I talk to you for a second?”

I hesitantly followed Sarah into the kitchen. Warm and familiar Thanksgiving smells flowed unnaturally from the steel, high tech kitchen appliances that filled their kitchen.“Sure, what's up?”

She shot me a look before turning to toss the salad. I turned my attention to a tiny cinnamon smelling candle that was lit on the island in front of me. There was a beat before she asked,“Will your sister be joining us tonight?”

“She didn't tell you?” I asked surprised. Sarah and Amanda were worse then teenage girl gossiping with each other. She shook her head and then waited for the answer to her question.“No,” I mumbled quietly. “She's going to Jonathan's tonight for dinner.”

“I see.” Those two words caused the familiar awkward silence that settled between us. I leaned on the island and pulled the candle closer to me so that the smell could fill my nostrils. The only sounds in the room was distant laughter from the family outside.“You know sweetie,” I felt myself visibly flinch as the word sweetie escaped Sarah's lips. “You girls aren't going to stay young forever.”

I crinkled my eyebrows in confusion as I intently studied the flame. “Um excuse me? I'm only twenty one.”

“I already had my first husband by the time I was twenty one.”

“And how did that work out for you?” I mumbled to myself as she leaned over to take the turkey out of the oven. There was a small plate of chocolate turtles that my aunt was famous in my family for making. I glanced over at Sarah to make sure she wasn't looking before quickly popping one in my mouth.

She sighed as she placed our dinner on the counter. “Perhaps I'm not phrasing this right.” She smiled slightly again as she leaned against the island in the middle of her kitchen. “Sorry I just never had boy problems with Amanda, so I don't really know how to approach this.”

“Boy problems?” I repeated in surprise and she nodded sadly. “I'm pretty sure that my freshman health class handled that for you so I'll just be going back to the party now.” I pushed myself up off the counter and slowly turned to go. She lightly grabbed my wrist, freezing me right on the spot.

“Taylor please. I'm trying here.” She gently released her hand and sighed as she leaned back against the counter. “Okay, I'm just going to come right out and say it.” I cocked one eyebrow up as I anticipated what she was going to say. “Taylor, you need a boyfriend.”

I shook my head to clear my mind and make sure that I wasn't hearing things.“Um what?” I said, totally off guard by the sudden swerve the conversation took.

“I didn't want to tell you this, but you really are embarrassing us as a family.” My mouth fell open as she continued. “Amanda is in a happy relationship with a rich, nice man who loves her and you couldn't even hold onto that weird kid you work with.”

“Sarah-,” I tried to interrupt her, but she continued over me. I was too shocked to feel angry as she chewed me out.

“We need you to find someone who will take care of you and since you can't seem to be able to do that on your own, I'm going to step in.”

“Sarah-,” I tried again a little louder this time, but she was very good at ignoring me.

“Taylor, I don't want you to put up a fight. You should be happy that I am willing to take time out of my life to help you with this.”

“Sarah!” I yelled and she looked over at me from across the kitchen with a startled expression on her face. “I don't need your help.” I held my hand up when she opened her mouth again to speak. “I don't need your help because I already have a boyfriend.” I turned to go as her eyebrows crinkled in confusion. “But thanks for your concern.” I let the sarcasm drip from my words as I exited the kitchen.

“Taylor!” Sarah called as the kitchen door swung closed behind me. “Taylor do not walk away when I am talking to you!”

I kept walking and ignored Sarah's calls as the kitchen door swung closed behind me. I scanned the room, looking for a place that I could sit down and relax. I spotted an opening by the fireplace so I forced my way over there. The brick was cold through my holiday dress as I sat down on it and let the fire heat up my back. I looked around the room and noticed a little blonde head scurry by in front of me. “Sammy!” I called but he continued. “Sammy!”

He froze where he was, a cookie half way in his mouth. “What?” I waved to signal for him to come over to me. I saw his shoulders physically sag as he made his way to the fireplace. “What Taylor?”

“Wow don't sound so enthused to see me,” I said sarcastically and he made a face when I ruffled his hair. “What's going on Sammy?”

“Stop calling me that.” His lips formed into a small pout as he crossed his arms in front of him. “No one calls me that anymore.”

“Oh I see.” I leaned back on the palms of my hands to make myself closer to the fire. “You're all old in middle school and don't have the time for childish nick names.” He scowled when I laughed. After Sarah and my dad were married, they decided to ruin another life by having a child together. So far, from what I could tell, the kid was turning out alright. In my opinion, it was a miracle. “How's school going?”

“Fine,” he mumbled.

“I heard that you made the school play.” I sat forward again so that I could see him better. “That's pretty cool.”

He shrugged. “I guess.” He absentmindedly started to pull on a loose strand that was hanging off of the horribly ugly green sweater vest that I knew Sarah was forcing him to wear. “Can I go now?”

“Fine,” I sighed as he stood up. “Just leave me all here by my lonesome.” He took a step forward so I started to talk a little louder. “Just sitting all by myself at the fire, sad and so so alone.” He turned back to look at me and I shot him a smile to let him know I was just giving him a hard time. He rolled his eyes before ducking back into the crowded family room, probably in search of some more cookies. I could feel myself start to relax as the fire slowly warmed me up. I closed my eyes and started to breath deeply, imagining myself anyplace else then this stupid party.

I let my thoughts drift as I started to disappear from the living room and inside my head. Jonathan kept popping up in my thoughts and I had to repeatedly clear my head before the visions went too far. Like I needed to make my situation any more complicated. I was shaken out of my day dreams when I heard the front door slam extremely loud.

“Where is she?” Amanda's shrill voice filled the room as she said each word slowly. “Where is that backstabber!?” Uh oh, I thought and started to rise to make an escape to the bathroom. “Taylor! Where is Taylor!?” I closed my eyes as everyone's head shifted in my direction. My foot froze in the air mid-step as Amanda stomped her way over to me. “How could you!?” I flinched as her high pitched scream split my ear drums.

“How could I-”

“Don't even try to play dumb with me Taylor,” she interrupted me. “I knew that you were jealous of Jonathan, but I didn't think that you would go this far.”

“What?” I asked, finally opening my eyes and turning towards her. “What are you talking about?”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes furiously. I noticed Sarah pushing her way through the crowd of family members that had formed a semi-circle around us, like they were watching a high school cat fight. That's what it looked like by the way that Amanda was standing with the mascara running all down her face and her hair all tousled about. I unconsciously took a step back as she yelled in my face. “Jonathan broke up with me and it's your fault!”

“How is it my fault?” I asked as I took another step back.

“What's going on in here?” By this time, Sarah had pushed her way to the front and I noticed my father was in the process of doing so. “Amanda?” She looked purely confused as she studied her daughter. “What are you doing here?” There was a beat before she asked, “And why do you look like that?”

“Because your stupid excuse for a boyfriend told Jonathan what was going on.” Amanda ignored her mother and continued to scream at me in frustration. She poked my hard in the chest, causing me to stumble back slightly.

I slapped her hand away quickly. “First of all, don't talk about Patrick like that.” She rolled her eyes as I regained my balance. “And second of all, I'm not his babysitter. How am I supposed to be held responsible for what he does?”

“You didn't have to tell him.” I let out a loud sarcastic laugh. “It was my business and you had no reason to get involved with it.”

“You dragged me into it!” I protested. Sarah came up slowly to Amanda and placed her hand on her shoulder. Amanda turned into her mother and started sobbing into her which only made me angrier. “You know what? I'm happy that Patrick told him.”

“Taylor,” my father said sharply as he joined in the conversation, but I ignored him and continued.

“He deserves someone way better then you.” She let out a loud cry and Sarah let her gaze shift to my father as a sign to make him handle the situation. “Someone who won't lie to him, or cheat on him, or break his heart.” My father lightly grabbed my arm but I yanked it back. “Someone who really loves him.” Amanda lifted her eyes to scowl at me. Her mascara was running all down her face, making her look more like a horror film character then she normally did. My breathing became a little more ragged as I gained the courage to force the words though my lips.“Someone like me.”

“Get out of here.” Sarah demanded as Amanda's wails got louder. “Get out Taylor!”

My breathing was heavy as I looked around the room at all of the relatives that had been pretending to be mine for the past fifteen years. All of the faces stared back at me like I was the bad guy in this situation. My eyes caught Sammy's for a second and I felt myself calm down as I noticed the startled expression on his face. I took in a ragged breath before walking right up to Sarah and whispering, “happily.”

* * *

“In the year 1621, the Pilgrims held their first Thanksgiving feast. They invited the great Indian chief Massasoit, who brought ninety of his brave Indians and a great abundance of food. Governor William Bradford and Captain Miles Standish were honored guests. Elder William Brewster, who was a minister, said a prayer that went something like this: 'We thank God for our homes and our food and our safety in a new land. We thank God for the opportunity to create a new world for freedom and justice." I stared way to intensely at my television screen as Linus explained to me what Thanksgiving was supposed to mean.

“Amen,” Charlie Brown concluded to echo my thoughts. I twirled around the slowly cooling Chinese food in my lap as I folded my legs underneath me. Yep, this was totally how I pictured spending my Thanksgiving this year. Sitting alone in my apartment, in sweatpants, and shoving orange chicken down my throat. God I'm pathetic.

It was only about eight o clock when I placed the tray in my hands down on the glass table in front of me. I grabbed the quilt that was laid lightly over the side of the coach and wrapped it tightly around my body in a cocoon fashion. I took deep breaths and could slowly feel myself drifting off to sleep as I started to relax. It wasn't long lived though, since the blasting of my doorbell rang throughout the apartment. I groaned quietly but my curiosity eventually took over as I dragged myself to the front door. I looked through the tiny hold in my front door and pulled my head back in surprise. I quickly pulled open the door when I saw who it was.

“Jonathan?” I asked, crossing my arms across my stomach self conscientiously. “What are you doing here? I thought you were with your family.”

He shrugged as he shifted awkwardly outside the door to my apartment. “I decided you could use some company.” I smiled as I let him in. His eyes shifted around my apartment before landing on the Chinese box on the table. “And some food.” He lifted us a small Tupperware container he held in his hands.

“Thanks.” I took the box from his hands and led him into the kitchen. “How did you know that I would be here?”

He shrugged again. “I didn't really I guess.” He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck as he spoke. I took a long whiff of the food that Jonathan had put in the container for me before grabbing two plates and laying them out onto the counter. “I was just hoping.”

He watched me carefully as I took a fork and lifted the left over turkey onto the plate and placed it into the microwave. The beeping of the buttons on the microwave filled the silent kitchen. “Oh well thanks for coming.” He nodded slightly, but didn't say anything. “This is probably a lot more boring then being with your family.” He smiled slightly, but let the awkward silence settle in. I leaned against the counter and let my eyes roam everywhere around the room except for him. I tapped my foot quietly underneath me to try and make some noise in the room. I could feel as Jonathan stared right through me.

I eventually forced my eyes to him when I heard him clear his throat. “Did you, um, talk to Amanda?” He asked quickly. He ran his fingers through his hair and stared intensely at the microwave as he awaited my answer.

“I wouldn't call it talking exactly.” I turned to take the food out of the microwave and set it out on the counter. “It was more like her yelling and accusing me.”

His face contorted slightly in sympathy. “Sorry about that. I just couldn't wait and I didn't think that she would go all psycho on you guys.” His face soured up as I placed a plate of food in front of him.

“It's Amanda,” I said as I dug through one of our draws to grab silverware. “What did you think was going to happen?” He smiled slightly and I was glad that I was able to make him feel a little bit better. “It's not that big of a deal though,” I assured him. “I would've used any excuse to get out of that stupid party.” He smiled again and as I looked up at him, the words I spoke to Amanda echoed through my mind. Someone like me.

He cleared his throat and thanked me as he took the fork from my hand. I led him around to the living room and gestured for him to sit down on the couch beside me when I hesitated. I laughed slightly when the I was pulled in his direction of the couch when it was pulled down by his weight. He blushed slightly. “Sorry.”

I smiled as I shook my head. I leaned over and pat his leg gently. “It's okay. It's all muscle.” He smiled before putting a forkful of mashed potatoes in his mouth. “Did your mom make all of this?” I asked as I cut into the turkey. He nodded slightly. “Wow I'm impressed. Tell her she is an excellent chief.” He smiled and nodded again, but I could tell that something was very off about this scene. We both shifted uncomfortably as the silence settled in. I was having a mental debate over what to say when Jonathan interrupted it.

“Taylor?” He asked and my heart beat was loud as I kept my attention down on my food. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” I leaned over to mute Charlie Brown before waiting to see what he was going to ask. “What is it?” I prompted him when he didn't ask it right away.

“You don't have to answer,” he stammered quickly as his face turned an ever deeper red then normal. “I 'm just curious.” He nervously twirled around the food on his plate, mixing several of the foods into a mess. “What, um, what did you think of me the first time we met?” I laughed slightly in surprise and he snapped his head up at me. “Never-mind.”

“No, no I'll answer,” I said, instantly feeling guilty. “The very first time we met at the Cubs game I thought you were an arrogant jerk.” He crinkled his eyebrows down at his food in discomfort as I bit on my lip to keep from laughing. “I mean, why would I want some guy who spilled beer all over my clothes autograph? I didn't care how hot you were.” He smiled even though his blush deepened. “But then when you guys took the time to come back to another game-.” I tucked my legs underneath me as I continued. “I thought you were sweet for inviting me. A little shy, maybe,” I smiled as I remembered that day. “But nice.” He nodded in satisfaction as he leaned back on the couch. “So what about me?”

“What?” He asked, playing dumb before leaning forward to finish off the rest of his food.

“What did you think about me the first time we met?”

“Oh.” He shrugged as he finished off the rest of his stuffing. “The same.”

“What?” I asked, following him into the kitchen as he took both of our empty plates and placed them in the sink. “Come on, you can't just cop out like that. I answered so you can too.”

He stared intently down at the dishes as he placed them into the sink and started to spray them with water. I grabbed a towel out of the cabinet and went to the other side of the sink so I could dry them off and place them in the cabinet. “Fine,” he said finally. “The first time we met,” my heart beat was loud in my head as I awaited his answer. “I thought you were the clumsiest chick alive for running into me like that.” He laughed as I slapped him in the shoulder with the towel.

“Excuse me? You ran into me!” I scrubbed the dishes a little harder then necessary and I hoped he wouldn't be able to see my disappointment. “But you seemed pretty drunk so at least you had an excuse.”

“Hey,” he started to defend himself. “That was your boyfriend's drink. I was the designated driver.”

“Uh huh.” I laughed to cover up the fact that my face fell when he mentioned my boyfriend. “Now are you really going to answer my question?”

He smirked slightly as he turned towards me. “Fine, the first time we met I knew I wanted to get to know you better.” There was a beat before he asked, “happy?”

I sighed deeply. “No.” He laughed slightly as he followed me back into the living room. “But that's the best I'm going to get.” I paused before adding a second thought. “For tonight anyways.”