Status: Work in progress, currently got writers block though :(
The Pain Within
Part 3
Walking down the corridor, the characteristic smell of disinfectant hit Julia’s nostrils. The wards were full of people moaning from everyday injuries and illnesses. Oh, how Julia wished it had been a case of bad flu that had brought her here, rather than the grim truth. She couldn’t take it all in, it had happened so fast! She’d been rushing around at home getting ready for work, worried sick about Lucy because she hadn’t heard from her that morning, and the next minute Vanessa was on the phone asking her to come to her house because Lucy had attempted suicide. Julia had not been in Vanessa’s good books for taking Lucy in when she had thrown her out of the house, so to be called to help was a big shock, although it was definitely a welcome one. The hustle and bustle of the hospital became more intense as Julia got closer to the resuscitation room, as did the smell of cleaning products. There were nurses trotting backwards and forwards as well as patients hobbling along on crutches or attached to drips. She walked through the big red doors and the heartbreaking scene met her eyes once more.
Lucy looked so young and fragile in that big bed, her slim frame was almost lost amongst the white sheets, and there were hospital staff buzzing all around her. She had a drip coming from her hand and wires attaching her to the heart monitor that was bleeping away beside the bed. Her thick brown hair had lost its wave and lay limp and flat against the pillow, she was so pale... It reminded Julia of how young she really was, eighteen. Barely more than a child, and yet there she was, lying in a hospital bed at death’s door. To an outsider, apart from her pale colour and surroundings, Lucy seemed fine. It wasn’t until you looked at her arms and legs that you realised the truth. They were covered in gauze and bandages, but even that wasn’t enough, you could still see the blood that was seeping through. Lucy had ‘made a good job of it’, as one of the doctors had said. She had been allowed to stay in the room while Lucy’s cuts were examined, and she had been very disturbed by what she saw; Lucy had deep cuts all over both thighs and there was barely an inch of un-cut skin left. Her left arm was another matter, it had half the number of cuts her legs had, and yet the damage was much greater, because what Lucy had lost in number, she had made up for in depth. She had horizontal cuts running from her wrist to half way down her arm, and it was hard to describe them in any more detail, simply because they were so deep that it was hard to see where one cut finished and the next one began. There were two nurses standing next to Lucy who had the lovely job of changing the bandages every few minutes, and when Julia returned she could see by the looks on their faces that they were panicking by the amount of blood Lucy was losing. This didn’t ease Julia’s concern, and she went straight over to Lucy’s bed and started stroking her head.
The Doctor informed Julia that they had just given Lucy the drug that would bring her round from unconsciousness and she was beginning to stir already. Julia was nervous, this would be the first time Lucy had been properly awake since before her attempt despite the fact that she had been drifting in and out of consciousness since arriving to the hospital. ‘How will she react? How much pain will she be in? Will she want me here with her? Can I bear to watch her go through this?’ Julia felt angry at herself for the last thought; ‘of course you can, you have to’, she corrected herself. It was too late to walk away now, and she would never do that to Lucy.
Lucy started murmuring as she came round from unconsciousness; the room came into focus as her deep blue eyes flickered open. She blinked. Once, twice, three times, but everything was still blurry and then it dawned on her that she was not wearing her glasses. Slowly she began to take it all in; she was in hospital, she could see that much, and there were two nurses standing by the bed with dressings in their hands. She was also in indescribable pain. The first thing she though was; ‘Oh hell, I’m alive.’ Julia could see the realisation sweep over Lucy’s face, and this was immediately followed by a look of utter horror.
Julia took hold of her hand and said softly, “I’m here Lucy, try and stay calm. We’re going to get you through this.”
Without warning, Lucy started crying silently and Julia hugged her as she too had begun to cry. The pair hugged silently for what seemed like a lifetime, neither uttering a word to each other, because they both knew that sometimes tears say everything that needs to be said. After a few moments, one of the Doctors came over. He didn’t ask how Lucy was feeling, or say anything, other than explain the procedure they were about to do.
When he said that she had to be fully awake while the whole thing took place, Lucy just nodded and said; “It’s nothing less than what I deserve.”
She was so weak that she could barely move and speaking even that tiny amount, completely exhausted her. The doctor explained to both of us that until they got to surgery they wouldn’t know how bad the damage was, but from what he could see it looked very severe and he was convinced that there would be long-term damage.
“Of course” he added, “this is just in regard to the cuts you have, the internal damage you have done is another matter.” Julia could not believe his attitude, but she held back her retort, after all, despite his opinions, this man was doing his best to save Lucy’s life.
Lucy looked down at her bandaged arm and legs, she could see the blood that was everywhere and she had a sudden strong desire to pull the dressings off and finish what she had started. Julia however, seemed to have realised what she was thinking because at that precise moment she said “Don’t you dare, we have both been through enough already.” Lucy hesitated and then did as she was told. There was so much that both friends wanted to say to each other, but it just wasn’t the right time or place and neither wanted to be the first person to bring up the painful subject of conversation. “Let’s get this over with”, Lucy said to the doctor.
Lucy looked so young and fragile in that big bed, her slim frame was almost lost amongst the white sheets, and there were hospital staff buzzing all around her. She had a drip coming from her hand and wires attaching her to the heart monitor that was bleeping away beside the bed. Her thick brown hair had lost its wave and lay limp and flat against the pillow, she was so pale... It reminded Julia of how young she really was, eighteen. Barely more than a child, and yet there she was, lying in a hospital bed at death’s door. To an outsider, apart from her pale colour and surroundings, Lucy seemed fine. It wasn’t until you looked at her arms and legs that you realised the truth. They were covered in gauze and bandages, but even that wasn’t enough, you could still see the blood that was seeping through. Lucy had ‘made a good job of it’, as one of the doctors had said. She had been allowed to stay in the room while Lucy’s cuts were examined, and she had been very disturbed by what she saw; Lucy had deep cuts all over both thighs and there was barely an inch of un-cut skin left. Her left arm was another matter, it had half the number of cuts her legs had, and yet the damage was much greater, because what Lucy had lost in number, she had made up for in depth. She had horizontal cuts running from her wrist to half way down her arm, and it was hard to describe them in any more detail, simply because they were so deep that it was hard to see where one cut finished and the next one began. There were two nurses standing next to Lucy who had the lovely job of changing the bandages every few minutes, and when Julia returned she could see by the looks on their faces that they were panicking by the amount of blood Lucy was losing. This didn’t ease Julia’s concern, and she went straight over to Lucy’s bed and started stroking her head.
The Doctor informed Julia that they had just given Lucy the drug that would bring her round from unconsciousness and she was beginning to stir already. Julia was nervous, this would be the first time Lucy had been properly awake since before her attempt despite the fact that she had been drifting in and out of consciousness since arriving to the hospital. ‘How will she react? How much pain will she be in? Will she want me here with her? Can I bear to watch her go through this?’ Julia felt angry at herself for the last thought; ‘of course you can, you have to’, she corrected herself. It was too late to walk away now, and she would never do that to Lucy.
Lucy started murmuring as she came round from unconsciousness; the room came into focus as her deep blue eyes flickered open. She blinked. Once, twice, three times, but everything was still blurry and then it dawned on her that she was not wearing her glasses. Slowly she began to take it all in; she was in hospital, she could see that much, and there were two nurses standing by the bed with dressings in their hands. She was also in indescribable pain. The first thing she though was; ‘Oh hell, I’m alive.’ Julia could see the realisation sweep over Lucy’s face, and this was immediately followed by a look of utter horror.
Julia took hold of her hand and said softly, “I’m here Lucy, try and stay calm. We’re going to get you through this.”
Without warning, Lucy started crying silently and Julia hugged her as she too had begun to cry. The pair hugged silently for what seemed like a lifetime, neither uttering a word to each other, because they both knew that sometimes tears say everything that needs to be said. After a few moments, one of the Doctors came over. He didn’t ask how Lucy was feeling, or say anything, other than explain the procedure they were about to do.
When he said that she had to be fully awake while the whole thing took place, Lucy just nodded and said; “It’s nothing less than what I deserve.”
She was so weak that she could barely move and speaking even that tiny amount, completely exhausted her. The doctor explained to both of us that until they got to surgery they wouldn’t know how bad the damage was, but from what he could see it looked very severe and he was convinced that there would be long-term damage.
“Of course” he added, “this is just in regard to the cuts you have, the internal damage you have done is another matter.” Julia could not believe his attitude, but she held back her retort, after all, despite his opinions, this man was doing his best to save Lucy’s life.
Lucy looked down at her bandaged arm and legs, she could see the blood that was everywhere and she had a sudden strong desire to pull the dressings off and finish what she had started. Julia however, seemed to have realised what she was thinking because at that precise moment she said “Don’t you dare, we have both been through enough already.” Lucy hesitated and then did as she was told. There was so much that both friends wanted to say to each other, but it just wasn’t the right time or place and neither wanted to be the first person to bring up the painful subject of conversation. “Let’s get this over with”, Lucy said to the doctor.