The Pain Within

At about 6 o’clock Jane arrived. Callum and Julia were still at Lucy’s bedside when Jane walked across to them, but as soon as she saw Lucy clearly she stopped in her tracks and her face dropped. She was trying her best to keep the look of shock off her face and to hold back the tears but the sight of little Lucy who she loved like a daughter, lying in a hospital bed covered in bandages and tubes was too much to bear. Julia immediately went to her side and gave her a huge hug, before the pair returned to Lucy’s bedside. Lucy was unconscious, and no-one expected her to wake up any time soon, so Jane was getting the update from Julia whilst holding Lucy’s hand. Jane’s reaction was exactly the same as Julia’s, and she said what Julia had been trying not to think; “When she comes round and hears this we will be very hard pressed to stop her trying to repeat her actions!” This happened to be the moment when one of the doctors came to check on Lucy, and as soon as he heard this he said; “Well she will struggle to do anything with the state she’s in, and she will be on a locked psychiatric ward on 24-hour observation for quite a long time when she is strong enough, So I doubt she will do any more damage. Also, you are being too confident that she will wake up, don’t get your hopes up.” With that parting shot he finished his checks and left. Jane was reeling at his attitude and Julia explained that she had experienced a few attitudes like that during the day. She said it was because the staff, like many other people, didn’t understand depression and suicidal thoughts so they judged first and asked questions later.
The conversation came to an abrupt stop when Lucy stirred. Callum, Julia and Jane all waited with bated breath, they desperately wanted her to wake up, but at the same time they didn’t want to have to give her the heartbreaking news. Jane hurried off to fetch a nurse and Julia held on to Lucy’s hand for dear life. A nurse and a doctor came running and they decided to see if Lucy could breathe for herself. They set about removing the tube from her throat, and at this point Anne arrived. Anne looked as pale as Jane, and they all exchanged hugs before standing in a tight semi-circle at the end of Lucy’s bed.
They took the tube out and nothing happened. Every person standing around Lucy’s bed had their hearts in their mouths, willing her to take a breath. The atmosphere was almost tangible. Still nothing happened. Then, just when the hospital staff stepped forward to replace the tube, Lucy took a huge gasp of breath. Keeping her eyes closed, she continued to breath for herself. Looking around, the doctor saw the relief wash over everyone’s faces as he checked Lucy over. “Her breathing is laboured and it’s taking a lot of strength for her to keep it up, but for now she can stay off the ventilator. This is very unexpected progress, but don’t be lured into a false sense of security, she is by no means out of the woods yet.” Julia thanked the doctor and he and the nurse left, saying that they would be checking on Lucy every fifteen minutes.
After the shock of what just happened, it took a little while for conversation to start up again. Jane went off in search of more chairs for herself and Anne, whilst Julia filled Anne in on what had happened during surgery. Surprisingly, Anne offered to be the one to break the news to Lucy when she came round. She was shocked and upset like everyone else, but she knew Lucy had to be told sooner rather than later and she was confident that with all of her friends round her, Lucy would be able to handle it better than if it was just Julia with her. It was very helpful having Anne there, because her straight talking attitude meant that she was happy to go and talk to Vanessa about what had happened. She also tried to ease the atmosphere between Julia and Lucy’s family, with some success. Vanessa agreed that Julia could be involved, but that it was up to Lucy about how much that was. Julia agreed to this instantly and promised that if Lucy wanted her to back off at any point then she would do so. As a final plus, Anne managed to convince Vanessa that Lucy would talk to her when she was ready, and that pushing her on that point before hand would do much more harm than good.
Whilst all this discussion was going on, each friend of Lucy’s took it in turns to spend time sitting with her and holding her hand. The doctors had said that there was a chance she could hear what was being said, and they encouraged the visitors to talk to her. This whole time Julia just sat quietly in the corner next to Callum at Lucy’s bedside, not saying a word or leaving her seat at all. She was glad that Jane and Anne were there, because it gave her time to absorb everything that had happened during the day. It had all gone so fast! Her mind was absolutely buzzing with thoughts and feelings about it all, and she was trying to make sense of them.