Status: Rewritten and being updated as the chapters are finished<3
Freedom to Starve
Disbelief
There was no way to describe the agony that was moving through every fiber of his being, generating from his heart. His heart. Zacky could feel it in his head, it felt like his heart had been moved to his skull and everything was pounding as he stared at the older man across from him. Nothing was making sense. Not the way his heart was pounding. Not the way everything was blurring. Especially not the way that he couldn’t breathe, no matter how hard he tried to pull oxygen into his lungs.
“Pa, who set you up to this? Why are you joking about something like that?” Brian’s pained voiced brought him back to reality as he chanced a quick look at him. Brian’s face showed little emotion, he didn’t feel the pain that Zack did. Only because he didn’t believe what he had just been told. He couldn’t believe it.
“I wish I was.”
If anything else had been said, the rhythm guitarist would have probably laughed and the feelings of despair instantly broken up but he hadn’t been expecting those words. Not those words. A comforting laugh followed by a dismissal of what he’d said was what the two band mates had been expecting.
Brian didn’t know what to do as the feeling hit him. Disbelief. He sneered toward his father, ripping his hand away from his boyfriend as he moved to stand. His shoulders were tensed, giving the appearance that he was larger than he actually was. Trying to appear tough, like this didn’t bother him. Even if he only believed it deep down, Brian instinctively tried to play it off like it hadn’t happened. That this was some sick little joke the guys and his father was playing on him. “You’re fucking lying,” he seethed, eyes narrowed as he glared at his father.
With a shake of his head, Brian let out a small growl before twisting around on his heel and stomping toward the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he leaned into the middle shelf and grabbed a beer before popping off the cap and taking a long gulp of it. His eyes closed, fist clenched around the bottle as he tried to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. Jimmy wasn’t dead. He wasn’t allowed to die, he was Brian’s best friend and past that, he had been his brother for nearly twenty years.
Meanwhile, in the living room, Zacky’s legs had moved to rest against his chest as his body began to rock back and forth. His breathing labored as he buried his face into his hands, fingers wrapping into his hair as a sob escaped his lips. As the first tear traveled down his cheek, he made no effort to wipe it away as his body began to tremble. Brian’s father had taken a seat by Zacky and wrapped his arms around the man, taking the place his son should have been at the moment.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay. You know Jimmy wouldn’t want this.” The words brought little comfort to the pained guitarist, dried of tears at the moment himself.
Zacky wanted to argue, he wanted to scream and yell at tell Papa Gates that he was wrong. That there was no way Jimmy would want them to just act like Jimmy passing was fine. But that was true and whether he wanted to admit it or not, he realized that. The whole Jimmy being gone sent his sobs to a harsher level, he was struggling to breathe as he buried his face against his god-father’s neck. Zacky wrapped his fingers into the older man’s shirt, searching for some sort of comfort.
A crash was heard from the kitchen, followed shortly by a few choice words. “Fuck!”
“I-I...” Zacky trailed off, stuttering as he untangled himself from Brian Sr.’s arms. He stood, his legs a bit unstable as the cries continued to shake his body. Moving forward into the kitchen, he surveyed the scene for a moment. Brian stood by the sink, his beer bottle broken against the wall on the opposite side of the kitchen. Eyes traveled up the other’s chest, Zacky saw for the first time, his boyfriend in true, emotional pain. His features were scrunched, his cheeks tinted red as tears rolled down them.
“Z-Zack,” he blubbered, standing there. Zacky took the hint and moved forward, wrapping his arms tightly around the lead guitarist’s waist. Nothing had prepared them for this, nothing could have either.
“Pa, who set you up to this? Why are you joking about something like that?” Brian’s pained voiced brought him back to reality as he chanced a quick look at him. Brian’s face showed little emotion, he didn’t feel the pain that Zack did. Only because he didn’t believe what he had just been told. He couldn’t believe it.
“I wish I was.”
If anything else had been said, the rhythm guitarist would have probably laughed and the feelings of despair instantly broken up but he hadn’t been expecting those words. Not those words. A comforting laugh followed by a dismissal of what he’d said was what the two band mates had been expecting.
Brian didn’t know what to do as the feeling hit him. Disbelief. He sneered toward his father, ripping his hand away from his boyfriend as he moved to stand. His shoulders were tensed, giving the appearance that he was larger than he actually was. Trying to appear tough, like this didn’t bother him. Even if he only believed it deep down, Brian instinctively tried to play it off like it hadn’t happened. That this was some sick little joke the guys and his father was playing on him. “You’re fucking lying,” he seethed, eyes narrowed as he glared at his father.
With a shake of his head, Brian let out a small growl before twisting around on his heel and stomping toward the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he leaned into the middle shelf and grabbed a beer before popping off the cap and taking a long gulp of it. His eyes closed, fist clenched around the bottle as he tried to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. Jimmy wasn’t dead. He wasn’t allowed to die, he was Brian’s best friend and past that, he had been his brother for nearly twenty years.
Meanwhile, in the living room, Zacky’s legs had moved to rest against his chest as his body began to rock back and forth. His breathing labored as he buried his face into his hands, fingers wrapping into his hair as a sob escaped his lips. As the first tear traveled down his cheek, he made no effort to wipe it away as his body began to tremble. Brian’s father had taken a seat by Zacky and wrapped his arms around the man, taking the place his son should have been at the moment.
“Shh, it’s going to be okay. You know Jimmy wouldn’t want this.” The words brought little comfort to the pained guitarist, dried of tears at the moment himself.
Zacky wanted to argue, he wanted to scream and yell at tell Papa Gates that he was wrong. That there was no way Jimmy would want them to just act like Jimmy passing was fine. But that was true and whether he wanted to admit it or not, he realized that. The whole Jimmy being gone sent his sobs to a harsher level, he was struggling to breathe as he buried his face against his god-father’s neck. Zacky wrapped his fingers into the older man’s shirt, searching for some sort of comfort.
A crash was heard from the kitchen, followed shortly by a few choice words. “Fuck!”
“I-I...” Zacky trailed off, stuttering as he untangled himself from Brian Sr.’s arms. He stood, his legs a bit unstable as the cries continued to shake his body. Moving forward into the kitchen, he surveyed the scene for a moment. Brian stood by the sink, his beer bottle broken against the wall on the opposite side of the kitchen. Eyes traveled up the other’s chest, Zacky saw for the first time, his boyfriend in true, emotional pain. His features were scrunched, his cheeks tinted red as tears rolled down them.
“Z-Zack,” he blubbered, standing there. Zacky took the hint and moved forward, wrapping his arms tightly around the lead guitarist’s waist. Nothing had prepared them for this, nothing could have either.
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The next one's going to be a good one. ^.^