Don't Waste Your Breath, It's Too Late

Jayden ran a hand through his black, shaggy hair, a heavy sigh passing through his lips. “Stop calling me Jayden.” He said after a few minutes of driving around in a thick silence.

I turned to him, “Well then what do you want me to call you?” I questioned.

A small smile danced along his lips while glancing over at me for a moment. “It’s Jay.” He said, “Jayden sounds too girly.”

I stifled a laugh. Was he serious? Jayden sounded too girly? I didn’t think that one bit, but whatever. “Alright, I’ll call you Jay for now on, although it doesn’t necessarily fit you.”

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” He asked, laughing, as he changed lanes.

I licked over my dry lips. “Well, I guess I was just use to calling you Jayden. I mean, if you think about it, going from Jayden to Jay, is a pretty big difference.

He rolled his eyes playfully and nodded. “I know, but you’ll get over it.”

“Okay then.” I nodded with a small laugh. “So, where are we going, Jay?” It was going to take awhile to get used to that.

He turned down a gravel road, his eyes locking with mine for a moment, before turning his attention back to the road. “It’s a surprise.” Was all he told me.

“I should have known you wouldn’t tell me.” I said, leaning my head against the cool window.

Two minutes later he pulled over into the grass next to the gravel road and put his car in park. “Come on,” he said, motioning for me to get out of the car.

Raising an eyebrow at him, I chewed on my lip before grasping onto the door handle and pushing it open. I climbed out of his car with ease, and we both met in front of the car. He was grinning from ear to ear as he held out his hand. I studied his facial expression for a moment before finally holding out my hand for him take.

“Where the hell are we going, Jay?” I questioned again. “And where the fuck are we?” I didn’t care if I annoyed him with those questions one bit. I looked around and noticed we where literally in the middle of nowhere land, so I seriously needed to know what was up and where we were going.

“Eliza,” He began, “Stop asking me questions. Jesus, you can really get annoying.” He rolled his eyes playfully, letting me know he was sort of kidding. “I come here all the time to think and shit. There’s a trail that leads to a really beautiful lake. I brought you here because I have a feeling you’re gonna like it.” He explained, squeezing my hand.

“Okay.” I nodded slowly, before following his lead. I had a feeling he had been here more than just a few times, considering he knew his way around pretty damn well.

“You don’t trust me do you?” He asked softly as we walked through the trail.

For a few minutes nothing was said between us. Birds chirping, the wind blowing, and random animal noises was all we heard before he finally broke the silence between us.

I shook my head, disagreeing with what he had said.

“No, it’s not that. I trust you just fine, Jay.” I assured him.

He glanced at me for a moment before nodding sharply, letting me know that he believed me. “Then what is it? What’s wrong?”

I almost wanted to laugh at his question. It was stupid to ask me such a thing. Of course something was wrong. “Everything,” I murmured. “Everything’s wrong, and for once I just…I don’t know how to fix it.”

Jay let a sigh pass through his lips before smiling softly at me. “I’m sure you’ll figure out how to fix everything eventually.”

“I sure as fuck hope so.” I nodded. “But lets not think about that right now. I just want to try and enjoy this somewhat before going home and having to deal with my father.”

“Do you not like your father?” He questioned with a small laugh.

“Well,” I folded my arms over my chest. “It’s complicated. I mean, I love my dad and I always will. But things haven’t been great with us. He wasn’t around much growing up, and I don’t blame him for that. I know that it was my moms decision to leave and move away, but I feel like he still could have tried to see me and my brother more often than just three or four times a year.”

“I get that,” He nodded. “I’m pretty much in the same predicament, except it’s my mom that’s not around instead of my dad.”

“I’m sorry,” I frowned. “It sucks not having both of your parents around while growing up.”

Jay waved it off, as if it different matter to him anymore. “Yeah, but you get used to it. Am I right?” He questioned with a slight smile.

Twigs crunched underneath my feet as I looked over at him. I smiled back and nodded. “You’re definitely right about that. After awhile we get used to it.”

--

Jay and I spent hours sitting by the lake just talking. There was no pressure to talk about certain things that had happened over the past few weeks, and I was glad. We talked, we laughed and we enjoyed each others presence. I knew that I had definitely made a mistake when I told him that we shouldn’t be friends and slammed the door in his face, but thankfully he didn’t care. All was forgiven, and an amazing friendship started to bloom.

When we decided to head back it was already getting dark, and I knew I was in a shit load of trouble, but I didn’t care. I had spent the entire day not thinking about anything remotely bad. Jay was so good at distracting me and keeping my mind occupied on other things rather then everything that had been going on.

“Good luck,” Jay chuckled as he parked next to the curb in front of my house.

I chewed on my lip, as I looked at all the cars in the driveway. I knew that wasn’t a good sign. I turned to Jay and laughed slightly. “I’m dead, but it’s okay. It’s worth it after having such an amazing day with you. Thanks, Jay. I really needed this today.” I told him softly.

“You’re welcome,” He nodded. “Good luck in there. And remember, if you need me, you have my number. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need me.”

“Okay,” I gave him a small smile. “I’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” He said as I climbed out of his car with my backpack slung over my shoulder.

I stood in the grass and watched him drive off after waving at one another. Finally, I turned around and headed up the driveway. Chewing on my lip, I pushed open the unlocked front door and closed it softly behind me. I could hear all the guys in the living room talking, which made me swallow hard. I set my bag down softly next to the front door and ran a hand through my hair. Nervously, I took very small, quiet steps until I reached the entrance of the living room. The guys were all sitting around the living room, while Dad stood pacing back in forth in front of them.

“Hey,” I said softly, rubbing my arm slightly.

Dad looked up and I was instantly met with a harsh glare from him. The guys all sat there starring at dad and I, waiting for what was about to happen.

“Where the fuck have you been, Eliza Lyric Haner?” He questioned through gritted teeth.

“I was uh, I was with Jay. I’m sorry.” I apologized. “We lost track of time.”

Dad crossed his arms over his chest, and I swear I saw steam come out of his ears from how angry he was. “Who the fuck is Jay?”

I chewed on my lip for a moment before answering. “I was with Jayden. You know, the kid that Dr. Russell wants me to hang out with.” I told him honestly. “I’m sorry I worried you.” When I apologized, I actually meant it for the first time in a long time.

Dad’s eyes soften before dropping his arms, seemingly defeated. “Go upstairs. I’ll be up in a few to talk.”

I sighed heavily before nodding. Before turning away and going upstairs, I looked him in the eyes once more. “I really am sorry.” I tore my eyes away from his and went up to my room