Don't Waste Your Breath, It's Too Late

It was now Saturday morning bright and early. Dad had to run some errands, while Jay and I cracked open our Calculus books to study for an upcoming exam. We had been drinking our weight in soda to help us wake up, and we had pigged out on some doughnuts dad had picked up the night before for breakfast. So we were pretty hyped up at the time. We were in the middle of going over a problem that neither of us both could understand, when the doorbell rang.

“Don’t leave me!” He yelled as he grabbed a hold of my arm, stopping me from getting up from the kitchen table. “I can’t fight off these Calculus problems alone, Eliza!”

I laughed and rolled my eyes as I pulled my arm away from him. “I’m sure you’ll last for five minutes while I answer the door, Jay! And no more fucking sugar or soda for you, you’re crazy enough without it.” I said as I walked out of the kitchen, dodging a pencil he threw at me on the way.

“Ass!” I shouted over my shoulder. The doorbell rang several times over and over again, and I narrowed my eyes slightly. People just couldn’t be patient these days, which really irked me. “I’m coming! Jeez.” I muttered that last part to myself as I pulled open the front door. “Impatient are– holy shit!” My sarcastic remark was cut short when I looked up from the ground and saw someone I never thought I would see again.

There he stood right before my eyes. The guy who convinced me drugs would make everything better, the guy who got me drunk and sweet-talked his way to getting into my pants to take my virginity, the guy who I thought was my best friend until I left, the guy I recently realized was no good for me. I couldn’t move as my heart raced against my chest. Why was he here, and how did he find me?

Running a hand through his shaggy blue hair, his brown eyes connected with mine and he smiled. “Well aren’t you going to give me a hug, Eliza?”

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. I was stunned. I couldn’t believe that he was here.

“Eliza, babe, who’s at the door?” Jay questioned as he came up from behind me.

“Uh, this is, uh,” I stumbled over my words as I moved over against the doorway for Jay to see.

“I’m Noah. Who the hell are you?” Noah questioned Jay, a hint of anger in his voice.

I gave him a look that said ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’ before turning to Jay. “Just give me a minute. I’ll be right in and we can finish studying before the movie later.” I said to him with a small smile.

“You sure?” He asks, raising an eyebrow. I could tell he sensed something wasn’t right, but Noah was my problem to deal with, not his.

I nodded, “I’ve got this.” I assured him.

Hesitantly, he nodded and looked back in forth between Noah and I, before finally leaving us alone. I turned back to Noah as I ran a hand through my black locks. A small glare was spread over his face, and I couldn’t help but wonder what his problem was.

“What are you doing here, Noah?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest.

Suddenly a small smirk danced across his lips smugly. “I came to see you, Lizzie.” He said, calling me by the nickname he had given me not too long after we had met.

I shook my head and sighed. Things were finally getting better, and I wasn’t about to let Noah ruin everything for me again. “Don’t call me that, Noah.” I told him. “I don’t know what you want, but I’m finally in a good place here, and I’m actually happy now. So please, just leave and forget you ever met me.”

“You can’t be serious!” Noah scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re my best friend! How am I supposed to just forget you and pretend we never even met?”

“No, Noah. That’s where you’re wrong. I’m not your best friend, and as far as I’m concerned, I never was.” It may have been harsh, but I wasn’t holding back. I was determined to tell Noah exactly how I felt about our so-called friendship.

“How can you even say that?” He demanded to know. “We spent a year with each other. We were un-fucking-separable, Eliza!”

I swallowed hard and looked away from him. “I think you should leave, Noah. Go home and just leave me be. I’m so happy right now. No more drugs, no more cutting, and my dad and I are finally fixing our relationship. Please don’t try and ruin this for me.”

“You act like that shit was my fault, when the truth is Eliza, it wasn’t. I didn’t force you to do those drugs if you remember correctly. I didn’t force you to become some emo little bitch who cuts themselves, and I sure as fuck didn’t screw up your relationship with your father. Don’t blame me for your screw ups.” He spat.

“You may not have made me cut my self, and you may not have fucked up my relationship with me and my dad, but the drugs were your fault!” I growled as I stepped outside and closed the door behind me, not wanting Jay to hear our conversation. “I was broken when Elijah died, and you told me that they would help. You got me addicted when I was in my most vulnerable state, Noah, not the other way around. I wasn’t myself then, and I didn’t know how to say no, but I do now.”

“So the magazine must be true! You’ve really started to go to therapy and shit, and now you’re fucking brainwashed.” He narrowed his eyes and shook his head at me.

“Are you fucking stupid, Noah? I’m not brainwashed! I got help for my mistakes, and you should think about doing the same. If you don’t stop these drugs and shit, you’re either going to wind up dead from an overdose or in Jail.” I told him. “Now I think you should leave. My dad will be home soon, and he doesn’t want me around you.”

Noah looked angry when I said that, but I didn’t care. “Fine, Eliza. I’m leaving. But don’t expect to ever see me again.” He said before turning around and walking away.

I watched as he walked down the driveway, got into his car, and drove off. I’m not going to lie and say that wasn’t hard for me to do, because it was. He was my best friend, or at least I thought he was, and I felt a little bad for acting like such a bitch towards him. But everything that was said between us needed to be said. Noah was apart of my past, and as far as I’m concerned, my past is now behind me, and he needed to know that.