Don't Waste Your Breath, It's Too Late

Eliza's Point of View:

I slammed my door and stumbled back against it in pure anger. I hadn't been here for more than fifteen minutes and they already knew a huge secret about me that I had tried my best to keep from everyone for the past year. I turned the small lock and glanced around at the room that was now declared mine. It was a simple bedroom with a bed, nightstand, desk, dresser, a closet, and a walk in bathroom, which was plenty for me. I sighed aloud as I walked over to the queen sized bed and plopped down on my back.

It pissed me off that mom had just decided to pass me off to my father, especially after not seeing him for a year. I knew there was a part of him that loved me, but I also knew that I wasn't his number one priority. It scared me a bit to be living with the man for two years when I hardly knew him. That was just how it was though, we both knew little about each other.

I could honestly say that I had only been to Huntington Beach a few times in the sixteen years I had been living. I used to live here when I was toddler, but mom decided it was best for everyone if we left, so that's exactly what we did. Dad wasn't really apart of mine or Elijah's life growing up. We spent a Christmas with him and the Avenged family up in Big Bear once, and we spent two summers with him in Huntington. The last time we had saw each other was at Elijah's funeral, and he barely acknowledged me. I didn't hate my dad for not being there for me or not spending time with me, in fact I didn't hate him at all. I just hated the fact that I basically grew up without a father.

A month after Elijah's funeral, I met the amazing Noah. He became my best friend, my partner in crime, and practically my brother. After a few weeks of hanging out with Noah I learned that he did drugs. Heroin, Cocaine, and Ecstasy, were the three that he mainly did besides Weed. I didn't want any part of it, but Noah had me convinced that if I did some it would help the emotional pain I was feeling from loosing Elijah. Cocaine was the first thing I did, and afterward I felt guilty as hell knowing Elijah was looking down at me and shaking his head in disappointment. Drugs were something Elijah hated and never approved off. Him and Nathan always told me not to act stupid and get involved with them, because they could ruin my life within seconds. After awhile though, I stopped caring. Noah and the drugs made me happy, I wasn't going to just stop.

“Eliza, open up.” Dad demanded as he knocked on my door thirty-three minutes later.

“Leave me alone,” I grumbled loud enough for him to hear me, before yawning and closing my eyes.

“Everyone is here, don't you want to see them?” He asked.

“Not really,” I said, adding some attitude hoping he'd get the hint and leave me alone.

“I know you're angry with me, Eliza, but can't you at least come down and say to everyone.”

I narrowed my eyes at the door before picking up the pillow next to me, and chucking it at the door. “You have no fucking idea how angry I am with you! So, I suggest you leave me the fuck alone.” I shouted.

“Fine,” He sighed heavily, before I could hear his footsteps disappear down the hallway.

I chewed on my bottom lip as I stood up from the bed and walked over to my bag. I smiled slightly as I pulled out my black drumsticks that had my name engraved on them. Elijah bought them for me for my fifteenth birthday, and they were by far the best present I received that year. Drumming was my talent unlike Elijah who played the guitar like dad. When Elijah and I were born Jimmy predicted that one of us were going to be a drummer, and it just so happened to be me.

Of course I can't take all the credit, Jimmy did work with me on occasion when I was younger. He taught me the basics and from then on I learned the rest. Jimmy's not only my Godfather he's my hero. Instead of looking up to mom and dad, I look up to him. He taught Elijah and I a lot about life and music. He told us to live everyday with a smile attached to our faces and to be happy with what he had.

Unfortunately since the car accident, I haven't been doing that. It's hard to live happily with out Elijah and Nathan by my side. Plus I didn't understand why God would take someone you love so much away from you without the slightest explanation, and honestly it pissed me off. I ask myself everyday why I didn't die instead of Elijah and Nathan. I don't see a reason as to why I was so lucky and survived. What's so special about me? What do I have to live for?

"Eliza, can I come in?" Jimmy asked from the other side of the bed. I sighed and walked over to the door.

"What do you want?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him as I pulled open the door.

"To talk," He shrugged and walked past me. I shut the door and watched as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "You're drumming again?" He asked with a small smile as he motioned to the drumsticks in my hands.

"I never stopped." I told him as I sat down beside him.

"That's not what Michelle said." He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Yeah, well, mom doesn't know much."

"Don't say that, she's still your mother and she still loves you." I rolled my eyes at what he was saying and lowered my gaze to the floor.

"That doesn't mean anything, Jimmy. All she does is go out with her friends or yell at me for stupid shit."

"She's trying her best Eliza, you have to understand that you aren't the only one who lost him.” He told me with disappointed eyes, before getting up and walking out the door.

“Jimmy...” I trailed off as I watched him shut the white door behind him.

I squeezed my eyes shut hoping to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. It was never my intention to disappoint anybody, but then again I seem to mess up everything these days. Maybe one day they'll all forgive me for what I've become, but for now I'm not ready to change.

--

“Stupid fucking stomach.” I grumbled as I climbed out of bed. “Why must you want food right now?” I questioned it, looking over at the digital clock that sits on the dresser.

The red numbers told me that it was one fifteen in the morning, causing me to hope that dad was already in bed so I didn't have to run into him. I slipped out my door and quietly tip toed down the hallway. I cringed and stopped abruptly as the floorboard beneath me creaked. Why must the floor sound so loud during the night? I took a deep breath before taking another step, and continuing to the staircase. I wanted to mentally slap myself as I stared down at the creaky wooden stairs, knowing damn well they were going to make a lot of noise. I took each step carefully, but since I'm terrible at being sneaky, each step creaked and echoed through out the foyer.

“What the hell are you doing?” Dads firm voice demanded to know from the top of the staircase.

“Nothing...” I trailed off with a small shrug as I turned to face him. Even though it was dark, I could still see his figure.

“It's late, shouldn't you be in bed?” He questioned as I watched him fold his arms over his chest.

“Shouldn't you be in bed?” I retorted with a small smirk.

“Eliza,” He warned, not that it would do any good, considering I'm not remotely afraid of him.

“Am I seriously in trouble for getting up to find something to eat?” I asked as I placed my hands on my hips. “In case you didn't notice, I didn't eat dinner, and I'm not one of those anorexic chicks who don't eat for days at a time.”

“Come on, I'll fix you something.” He offered as he walked down the stairs behind me.

“I don't need you to fix me anything.” I muttered. He kept on walking though, ignoring my comment.

"I can make you a sandwich." He offered as he flipped on the light and pulled open the fridge.

I sat down on a stool at the bar and folded my arms over my chest. "I don't eat sandwiches, remember?" I questioned knowing damn well he didn't remember.

"Oh, yeah." He muttered. "How about cold pizza? The girls brought it over earlier."

"Sure, whatever." I shrugged.

He pulled out the box of pizza and laid it on the bar beside me. I grabbed a slice from box and started devouring the cheesy goodness.

"Here," Dad said as he placed a bottle of water down in front of me, and sat down beside me with a cold beer in his hands.

"Can't I-"

"No, Eliza." He cut me off, knowing what I was going to ask.

"Fine," I huffed. He turned his gaze towards me and watched me for a minute as I took a sip of my water.

"What are you looking at?" I questioned as I twisted the plastic cap back onto the bottle.

"Did you really think you would get away with stashing Smirnoff in your suitcase?" He asked me with a small smirk. I laughed aloud not believing I had actually forgotten about it.

"It was worth a shot." I shrugged.

"Your mom told me what those pills are for." He said changing the subject.

"Okay cool," I gave him a simple reply, now knowing what else to say.

"Mixing those pills with alcohol can be really dangerous. Don't you care?" He questioned.

"Nope," I said popping the 'P' as I shook my head. He looked baffled and for a moment there he seemed speechless.

"You survived that car accident for a reason, Eliza. You shouldn't be wasting your life on drugs and alcohol.”

I rolled my eyes at everything he told me. "You have no right to say all of that shit! This is my life, not yours. So, stop acting like you care and leave me the hell alone. Just because I'm stuck here with you until I'm eighteen doesn't mean you can start playing the dad card." With that being said I got up from the stool and went to my room.