Status: New. Keep or Kill?
Bitter Sweet
My Prayers
We lived in a small country town and because of that, everyone knew everyone. Did you know that I knew you in elementary school but I never had the balls to speak to you? You were so pretty, that’s what I thought when I was little and when we reached high school, which was grades seven through twelve, I was scared.
I was scared I’d never see you again but it was fate or maybe just dumb luck that we ended up in the same class for the entire year. But even then I couldn’t speak with you because my two best friends happened to be the prettiest girls in our grade and you, you were the cutest and most popular.
You wore those baggy tripp pants, studded bracelets and band t-shirts but even then the girls loved you. That attitude of yours was what drew them in. You weren’t afraid to speak your mind and you were always so funny, cracking jokes and trying to make everyone smile and laugh and enjoy themselves. Your qualities are admirable, even now, because you still care about others more than yourself.
I thought that I’d never speak with you. I was just so quiet and so shy that I couldn’t go up to you. You were always surrounded by your friends and I just didn’t know what to do or what to say. I was scared…
But like I said, you care more about others than yourself.
You came up to me one day, it was two months after school started, I know. We were in our first period math class and my “best friends” weren’t speaking with me. They were too infatuated with you but you pushed that conversation aside and looked at me.
I couldn’t breathe and when you spoke I knew that you had me. I would do anything you wanted, as long as it made you happy, as long as I saw you smile.
“Kale,” you laughed and for once, I loved my name. It just seemed to slide off your tongue with such ease and it made me smile. “You can talk, I won’t bite.”
I smiled and somehow I managed to speak to you, “I-I know.”
That day during lunch you took a seat across from me and within those forty minutes of free time I spoke more words to you than I have to probably anyone in my life. Suddenly, I felt so right and I didn’t feel like I had to watch what I said anymore and you, you changed me for the better.
You opened my eyes and showed me a new world. You taught me to laugh again and how to have fun. You made me smile daily and blush. You were so funny and so nice and although I wasn’t part of your normal group of friends you welcomed me with open arms and said, “You’re too cool, Kale.”
Maybe that was a normal thing for you to say but to me it wasn’t. The thought of you thinking that I was cool, because when we were 12 being called cool was the best thing ever, made me blush, which you seemed to be capable of doing a lot.
But of course, things aren’t fair and my feelings for you were not what you had for me.
Things got complicated when you started dating who I thought was my best friend, Celine. She was such a sweet girl and she listened to me talk about you for hours on end and she’d giggle and say how cute I was but…it seems she wasn’t the friend I thought she was.
She broke the biggest code in “the book.”
She started dating her best friend's, that’s me, crush. I was furious with her but I didn’t say a word. I bit my tongue and I looked away. I kept the tears at bay by saying things like “it’s only high school.”
You just seemed so happy with her. You two would hold hands and kiss and hug and flirt like love birds. Sure, my heart was aching terribly but the moment I saw your eyes twinkle with happiness and that smile break out onto your face I knew that this was for the best.
I just wanted you happy and she made you happy so I put up with it. I went through the pain everyday that you two were together and when the relationship only lasted three weeks, I cheered. Oh, but it seemed that the world hate me because you dated her again…and again…and again.
It was a strange thing, what you two had. When we all thought you two would be done for good, you’d just get back together. This “thing” that you two had going on lasted through seventh and eighth grade.
Every time you broke up, I was happy, but not long afterwards you’d get back together. I thought it’d never end and I actually started praying before going to bed. Yes, I prayed and I know that if you somehow found that out now you’d freak because I never really believed that asking God for anything would work.
But for you, I did it. I’d get on my knees and I’d close my red eyes that were sore from crying and I’d look up towards the sky. I’d clench my hands together and I’d pray, I’d wish for you two to stop and to just give up on each other and for you to find your one and only and be happy forever, even if that one wasn’t me.
I didn’t think my prayers would be answered…but they were.
You two broke up again and I just thought that you’d get back together. But you didn’t and before I knew it people were telling me things that I couldn’t believe. Your friends were leaning into me, telling me things that made me want to break down right then and there.
“He likes you,” they would say and me, having such low self esteem, couldn’t, wouldn’t believe them. I’d always shake my head and tell them, “It’s mean to tease people like that.” They would scoff and leave it at that.
Maybe I did believe them a little because sometimes I’d catch you looking at me. You’d realize I caught you and look away fast while chewing on your bottom lip and I’d smile so wide. I’d get up and I’d go over to you and we both seemed just so excited to talk to the other.
Or maybe it was me that was excited, I’m not sure but you seemed to be so happy with me next to you. You leaned in and you’d peck my cheek and I blushed so bad but thought nothing of it. You said such perverted things too and wiggled your eyebrows suggestively and I’d fight back a giggle because it was just so girly to do but you have and always will make me melt.
I remember yours and my friends always saying, “You two flirt so much.” I’d deny it but you laughed and shrugged as if it were perfectly normal because that’s just how you were, how you are.
And I never thought you’d be mine...
I was scared I’d never see you again but it was fate or maybe just dumb luck that we ended up in the same class for the entire year. But even then I couldn’t speak with you because my two best friends happened to be the prettiest girls in our grade and you, you were the cutest and most popular.
You wore those baggy tripp pants, studded bracelets and band t-shirts but even then the girls loved you. That attitude of yours was what drew them in. You weren’t afraid to speak your mind and you were always so funny, cracking jokes and trying to make everyone smile and laugh and enjoy themselves. Your qualities are admirable, even now, because you still care about others more than yourself.
I thought that I’d never speak with you. I was just so quiet and so shy that I couldn’t go up to you. You were always surrounded by your friends and I just didn’t know what to do or what to say. I was scared…
But like I said, you care more about others than yourself.
You came up to me one day, it was two months after school started, I know. We were in our first period math class and my “best friends” weren’t speaking with me. They were too infatuated with you but you pushed that conversation aside and looked at me.
I couldn’t breathe and when you spoke I knew that you had me. I would do anything you wanted, as long as it made you happy, as long as I saw you smile.
“Kale,” you laughed and for once, I loved my name. It just seemed to slide off your tongue with such ease and it made me smile. “You can talk, I won’t bite.”
I smiled and somehow I managed to speak to you, “I-I know.”
That day during lunch you took a seat across from me and within those forty minutes of free time I spoke more words to you than I have to probably anyone in my life. Suddenly, I felt so right and I didn’t feel like I had to watch what I said anymore and you, you changed me for the better.
You opened my eyes and showed me a new world. You taught me to laugh again and how to have fun. You made me smile daily and blush. You were so funny and so nice and although I wasn’t part of your normal group of friends you welcomed me with open arms and said, “You’re too cool, Kale.”
Maybe that was a normal thing for you to say but to me it wasn’t. The thought of you thinking that I was cool, because when we were 12 being called cool was the best thing ever, made me blush, which you seemed to be capable of doing a lot.
But of course, things aren’t fair and my feelings for you were not what you had for me.
Things got complicated when you started dating who I thought was my best friend, Celine. She was such a sweet girl and she listened to me talk about you for hours on end and she’d giggle and say how cute I was but…it seems she wasn’t the friend I thought she was.
She broke the biggest code in “the book.”
She started dating her best friend's, that’s me, crush. I was furious with her but I didn’t say a word. I bit my tongue and I looked away. I kept the tears at bay by saying things like “it’s only high school.”
You just seemed so happy with her. You two would hold hands and kiss and hug and flirt like love birds. Sure, my heart was aching terribly but the moment I saw your eyes twinkle with happiness and that smile break out onto your face I knew that this was for the best.
I just wanted you happy and she made you happy so I put up with it. I went through the pain everyday that you two were together and when the relationship only lasted three weeks, I cheered. Oh, but it seemed that the world hate me because you dated her again…and again…and again.
It was a strange thing, what you two had. When we all thought you two would be done for good, you’d just get back together. This “thing” that you two had going on lasted through seventh and eighth grade.
Every time you broke up, I was happy, but not long afterwards you’d get back together. I thought it’d never end and I actually started praying before going to bed. Yes, I prayed and I know that if you somehow found that out now you’d freak because I never really believed that asking God for anything would work.
But for you, I did it. I’d get on my knees and I’d close my red eyes that were sore from crying and I’d look up towards the sky. I’d clench my hands together and I’d pray, I’d wish for you two to stop and to just give up on each other and for you to find your one and only and be happy forever, even if that one wasn’t me.
I didn’t think my prayers would be answered…but they were.
You two broke up again and I just thought that you’d get back together. But you didn’t and before I knew it people were telling me things that I couldn’t believe. Your friends were leaning into me, telling me things that made me want to break down right then and there.
“He likes you,” they would say and me, having such low self esteem, couldn’t, wouldn’t believe them. I’d always shake my head and tell them, “It’s mean to tease people like that.” They would scoff and leave it at that.
Maybe I did believe them a little because sometimes I’d catch you looking at me. You’d realize I caught you and look away fast while chewing on your bottom lip and I’d smile so wide. I’d get up and I’d go over to you and we both seemed just so excited to talk to the other.
Or maybe it was me that was excited, I’m not sure but you seemed to be so happy with me next to you. You leaned in and you’d peck my cheek and I blushed so bad but thought nothing of it. You said such perverted things too and wiggled your eyebrows suggestively and I’d fight back a giggle because it was just so girly to do but you have and always will make me melt.
I remember yours and my friends always saying, “You two flirt so much.” I’d deny it but you laughed and shrugged as if it were perfectly normal because that’s just how you were, how you are.
And I never thought you’d be mine...
♠ ♠ ♠
Gosh, writing this makes ME want to cry, such bitter sweet memorieswhich is why I named the story "Bitter Sweet"But I'd like to thank you first 10 commenters [sp?]
I LOVE YOU! -hands you cookie-
And you silent readers and subscribers...yeah I love you too ;D
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