Poison.
addicted.
I tend to crave too much.
I long for that warm feeling. That light, cushioned feeling that welcomes you with open arms, that gets your heart in a flutter. Knowing you found a place, a person, that can bring the peace you crave so strongly, that tranquility that dulls your senses, melding the five into one. When, although you don't realize it, you start to subconsciously knowingly blur the rational part of your mind, allowing your heart to pull the strings. You listen to those impulses that you usually think over and suppress, and give into those wants you’ve ignored for so long. That moment when you no longer put your mind over your heart.
I want to lose my sense of self, forget the role I play. To get that feeling when you're dancing on the line between reality and fantasy, lightly touching a toe on each side, but never fully setting down a foot on either half. When you balance on the boundaries you set for yourself, testing the waters of the unknown, unsure if it's shallow enough to stand in or if you'll slip under completely, losing all control. When you forget to care about the consequences that will follow the actions you make, and are fully aware of it.
I suppose what I’m trying to say, is that I want to indulge myself in a poison.
The place where I found this addiction—the person who I discovered it in, I used to never expect to.
Although, in a way, I guess I always..knew that he would be the one to flip over my world. That he would be the one to bring out everything in me, in ways both good and bad. He’d be the one to bring out the intensity in me, to make it surface and form into this feeling..this feeling that pulls at my heart in a way I can’t begin to hope to describe.
He is my poison, my poison that’s as addictive as the world he’s drawn me into. His soft, white world that he’s made for himself, and now…for me, too.
I long for that warm feeling. That light, cushioned feeling that welcomes you with open arms, that gets your heart in a flutter. Knowing you found a place, a person, that can bring the peace you crave so strongly, that tranquility that dulls your senses, melding the five into one. When, although you don't realize it, you start to subconsciously knowingly blur the rational part of your mind, allowing your heart to pull the strings. You listen to those impulses that you usually think over and suppress, and give into those wants you’ve ignored for so long. That moment when you no longer put your mind over your heart.
I want to lose my sense of self, forget the role I play. To get that feeling when you're dancing on the line between reality and fantasy, lightly touching a toe on each side, but never fully setting down a foot on either half. When you balance on the boundaries you set for yourself, testing the waters of the unknown, unsure if it's shallow enough to stand in or if you'll slip under completely, losing all control. When you forget to care about the consequences that will follow the actions you make, and are fully aware of it.
I suppose what I’m trying to say, is that I want to indulge myself in a poison.
The place where I found this addiction—the person who I discovered it in, I used to never expect to.
Although, in a way, I guess I always..knew that he would be the one to flip over my world. That he would be the one to bring out everything in me, in ways both good and bad. He’d be the one to bring out the intensity in me, to make it surface and form into this feeling..this feeling that pulls at my heart in a way I can’t begin to hope to describe.
He is my poison, my poison that’s as addictive as the world he’s drawn me into. His soft, white world that he’s made for himself, and now…for me, too.