Something Keeps Pulling Me Back
Opposites.
“I’m sorry Jeanne, I know you hate me and I know I act horrible towards you; I wish I didn’t hold all of this as anger towards you, I just don’t know how to blame Gerard.”
I breathe in deep, knowing she will not say anything back.
“You realise the reason I get so shitty with you is because you don’t say anything right? Because you just continue to sit there and think I’m some asshole. Because Gerard has you convinced I’m one; especially with the way I snap at you because I don’t want anyone else to want it him.”
I begin to get angry.
“All you do is lie and make up excuses...” She says with an annoy amount of calmness.
“No I’m not lying or making up excuses, what I did, I did myself. I know all this that’s why I’m asking for forgiveness, because I know I’ve made mistakes.”
“Whatever you sick fuck, go fuck some random guy!” She retorts.
“Okay then.” I don’t argue; I walk off, I don’t need to make things worse.
As I walk through the streets on the way to Ray’s house I stare at the two streets on opposite sides of each other.
One street leads to Jacobs’s house, the other Gerard’s.
Opposite just like they are.
If I got to chose what street to walk down again I know I’d pick Gerard’s; no matter what shit he put me through, he was still my love and that’s enough to shun away any pain.
But unwillingly my legs walk me through Jacobs street I stare at his house. He’s not home, he’s in the centre of the city getting high on acid somewhere.
I turn up the alley way that leads to the main road to Ray’s .
As I reach his house I hear him tuning his guitar.
“You obsessive freak!” I yell loud enough for him to hear through his open window.
He pokes his head out and laughs.
“ Like you can talk look at who’s slung around your shoulder!”
I rub my shoulder to feel Pansy’s strap. I giggle to myself.
I walk straight into his house.
The pleasant smell of potpourri incense and weed fill my lungs.
“Don’t tell Gerard.” Ray says as he lowers his head.
“Nah it’s sweet man, I won’t ; you know that!”
He pulls me into an embrace.
“So how’s shit going Frank, I must admit I worry about you everyday.”
I breathe in deep, knowing she will not say anything back.
“You realise the reason I get so shitty with you is because you don’t say anything right? Because you just continue to sit there and think I’m some asshole. Because Gerard has you convinced I’m one; especially with the way I snap at you because I don’t want anyone else to want it him.”
I begin to get angry.
“All you do is lie and make up excuses...” She says with an annoy amount of calmness.
“No I’m not lying or making up excuses, what I did, I did myself. I know all this that’s why I’m asking for forgiveness, because I know I’ve made mistakes.”
“Whatever you sick fuck, go fuck some random guy!” She retorts.
“Okay then.” I don’t argue; I walk off, I don’t need to make things worse.
As I walk through the streets on the way to Ray’s house I stare at the two streets on opposite sides of each other.
One street leads to Jacobs’s house, the other Gerard’s.
Opposite just like they are.
If I got to chose what street to walk down again I know I’d pick Gerard’s; no matter what shit he put me through, he was still my love and that’s enough to shun away any pain.
But unwillingly my legs walk me through Jacobs street I stare at his house. He’s not home, he’s in the centre of the city getting high on acid somewhere.
I turn up the alley way that leads to the main road to Ray’s .
As I reach his house I hear him tuning his guitar.
“You obsessive freak!” I yell loud enough for him to hear through his open window.
He pokes his head out and laughs.
“ Like you can talk look at who’s slung around your shoulder!”
I rub my shoulder to feel Pansy’s strap. I giggle to myself.
I walk straight into his house.
The pleasant smell of potpourri incense and weed fill my lungs.
“Don’t tell Gerard.” Ray says as he lowers his head.
“Nah it’s sweet man, I won’t ; you know that!”
He pulls me into an embrace.
“So how’s shit going Frank, I must admit I worry about you everyday.”
♠ ♠ ♠
:3