Something Keeps Pulling Me Back
On My Own.
"Pass it along man, I need some more" I say to Joel as I slump myself back onto my wall.
"You've had enough Frank, your starting to space out like you do and its creeping me out."
He replies somewhat concerned.
"Just one last one, I promise." I plee.
He passes me the bong, and I thumb pack myself a cone.
As I pull I feel my lungs ache, but I ignore them ; besides everything aches these days anyways.
I went out with Joel today and it's like so hard to not fall for him, because I'm done with the whole pouring my love into someones hands and then just slipping through the cracks of there fingers. Besides, Joels perfect as a bestfriend- perfect enough that is.
"Your doing it again..." Joels voice pipes up over my thoughts.
"Doing what?"
"Spacing out..." He continues being conerned.
"Bro, I'm fine." I smile at him.
"Your so cute."
"I know." I laugh back at him.
I'm so coldhearted at times, honestly I think its a good thing- he will never know I enjoy his compliments.
***
"Don't move away." He pleads in his half asleep voice.
I do as I'm told and lay still, and he pulls me back towards his embrace.
He grabs me and rolls me so I'm facing him, his nose pressed against mine.
"I love you Gee." I whisper.
"Babe wake up"
I open my eyes and see Joel, rather than Gerard.
He wraps his arms around my torso and pulls me close.
"What were you dreaming about?
You started shaking again" He asks with his eyes staring into mine.
"Mmm nothing." I reply sleepily. I kill all eye contact.
"I hate how you do that Frank."
"Do what?" I question.
"You never look into my eyes when I talk to you..." He sighs.
"I'm like that with everyone , now its like 2 am - can I go back to sleep?"
"Oh, okay, Sweet dreams.." He replies and kisses my forhead.
My heart pounds, Frank you know what he's like, he does that with his mates, He doesn't like you- don't fall...DONT FALL.
He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my head up and looks into my eyes, and soflty kisses my lips, I kiss back.
Dammit; I've fallen.
"You've had enough Frank, your starting to space out like you do and its creeping me out."
He replies somewhat concerned.
"Just one last one, I promise." I plee.
He passes me the bong, and I thumb pack myself a cone.
As I pull I feel my lungs ache, but I ignore them ; besides everything aches these days anyways.
I went out with Joel today and it's like so hard to not fall for him, because I'm done with the whole pouring my love into someones hands and then just slipping through the cracks of there fingers. Besides, Joels perfect as a bestfriend- perfect enough that is.
"Your doing it again..." Joels voice pipes up over my thoughts.
"Doing what?"
"Spacing out..." He continues being conerned.
"Bro, I'm fine." I smile at him.
"Your so cute."
"I know." I laugh back at him.
I'm so coldhearted at times, honestly I think its a good thing- he will never know I enjoy his compliments.
***
"Don't move away." He pleads in his half asleep voice.
I do as I'm told and lay still, and he pulls me back towards his embrace.
He grabs me and rolls me so I'm facing him, his nose pressed against mine.
"I love you Gee." I whisper.
"Babe wake up"
I open my eyes and see Joel, rather than Gerard.
He wraps his arms around my torso and pulls me close.
"What were you dreaming about?
You started shaking again" He asks with his eyes staring into mine.
"Mmm nothing." I reply sleepily. I kill all eye contact.
"I hate how you do that Frank."
"Do what?" I question.
"You never look into my eyes when I talk to you..." He sighs.
"I'm like that with everyone , now its like 2 am - can I go back to sleep?"
"Oh, okay, Sweet dreams.." He replies and kisses my forhead.
My heart pounds, Frank you know what he's like, he does that with his mates, He doesn't like you- don't fall...DONT FALL.
He puts his hand under my chin and lifts my head up and looks into my eyes, and soflty kisses my lips, I kiss back.
Dammit; I've fallen.