I Found Someone I Loved.

I was sitting in the park alone. That was my only haven. Not school, not home. Just the park. It was the only time I could really be myself. School was horrible and it didn't get any better at home; in fact it got worse back there. I had no place to go, without being made fun of and laughed at, or put down. Why? The answer is simple. It seems as though I'm too smart. I'm not conceited, but that's what I'm told.

Every day began and ended the same for me. It began with getting yelled at and hit and that's the way it ended before I went to bed. You see, here's the thing with my family, they don't want me to be smart. I know crazy, but there's logic behind it-or so they think. My parents want me to work for their company. Sounds great right? Not for me, though. You see my parents owned this run down, toy store. Sure toy stores are great, but the company is on its last leg. They want to hand it over to me, once I was going, to graduate high school. The only problem is, that's not what I want. The career path I want to take is in music literature. It's not easy it takes time and dedication and passion. I'm pretty much the top one in the class and it made me feel good.

After being and the park for thirty minutes, I knew I needed to head home. My parents gave me a maximum of an hour after school. Sure I could have used it all up, but I just didn't want to take that chance. The last time I did that it wasn't pretty; it was so horrible that I don't even want to bring it up again.

As I was walking home in the peaceful and serene environment; I began to wonder. Looking at each of the houses I walked by, I wondered what was really going on, on the inside. Were all those people truly happy or was it like my home? On the outside we were the perfect family, a mother, a father and the perfect son. The son who did as his parents wished and had his life already planned for him? Yes that was the perfect son. We'd put on a show every time we went out. No one would suspect what I go through in my home. If I told anyone they'd think I was a liar.

That's why I kept everything bottled up inside me and I needed an escape. That escape was only found through music, music of one man in particular. His name was Desmond Larson. His music spoke out to me, and he was the reason I wanted a career in that filed of work. I put my headphones in my ears and cranked up his music and continued to walk back home.

As I walked in the door I saw my dad's shoes. Great, he was home already. When he was home, I knew how it was going to end up. There were times that I'd get home before him and would be able to avoid him a little.

"Adam is that you?" My dad asked.

"Yea it's me." I responded.

"Can you head out into the kitchen?" He asked.

I was so tempted to say no and head up to my room. Although I was pretty sure that would have ended badly so I gave the "perfect" son answer.

"Yes." I said and walked toward the kitchen.

"Take a seat." He said.

"Okay,"

As I took my seat at the table, he began to speak.

"Son we're thinking about expanding the store." He said.

"Okay." I said.

"Yea we're going to expand the store." He repeated for a second time.

"Good for you?" I questioned.

"We might just expand the store Adam." He said.

"What's your point?" I asked annoyed.

"Well we'd put you in charge of the new store. You'd be the one to bring it to its feet." He said.

Not this stupid conversation again. How many times do I have to tell him; music is my passion not running a dumb toy store!

"No dad!" I said simply.

"What do you mean no?" He asked with his voice being raised.

"I don't want to run the store!"

"Why the fuck not?!"

I knew he was getting even more mad, as the time ticked by.

"I've told you many fucking times dad! I want to pursue a music and writing career. I don't want to own or run the business." I said.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm saying the truth." He said.

I was worried with what he was going to say next.

"You will never never make it with music! Face it son, you're just not good enough." He said.

That comment he made, hurt like taking a stake to the heart.

"That's bullshit! I can make it dad. Really far too, if I try hard enough. I can make it farther then running you're stupid store!" I yelled.

"Now the store's stupid?" He asked.

"Yes it's always been stupid!" I said

"Really? Let me tell you something that store pays for everything you do. All your mother and I are asking for is a thank you. You can't even say thanks to us by running the store." He spat.

"It's not even that, it's just running a business isn't my calling. Music is." I said.

"You're only sixteen what do you know? Music is a waste of time and you will end up running the store." He said.

I couldn't take the bullshit anymore, I just got up and left. My dad didn't seem to understand, how much he effects me. Music and writing is really what I was meant to do, nothing else.

The second I was in my room, I locked my door. Once I had done that, I cranked up Desmond's music and cried.

Fridays were always the worst. That was when I'd be bruised and run to the park at the end of the day, and sobbed. Fridays were the days where, the picking on got doubled. Some Fridays I'd be left out there laying on the floor bleeding. They felt that since there was going to be no me over the weekend; the bullying needed to be rougher. I had told my parents about it more than once. They didn't seem to give a flying fuck about it. I was pretty sure they didn't care because, I didn't want to run that business. They also claimed that I brought that upon myself.

"Hey Faggot!"

I kept on walking maybe whoever was behind me, would just leave me alone.

"Faggot!"

The voice was closer now, I was able to tell. I hoped that I could still make a run for it.

"You! FAG! You think, you can walk away from me?"

I didn't say a word, I just froze in place.

"That's right bitch, you stop for me!" He yelled.

I knew now that I had no chance. Might as well face the fucking moron.

I turned to face him and I felt a fist to my right eyes. It hurt so bad, I didn't know what to do. I ended up wincing in pain. I was then to the floor and it was like a swarm of people.

I was a helpless creature laying there. Yep, you guess it; no cared to help me up.

By the time everyone cleared out of the spot; and I got up, it used up the time I used go to the park. I had no choice, but to head straight home.

When I reached my house, I ran up into my room on a limp and in pain. I locked my door again and sobbed. This was going to be a long night and dreadful weekend.

Tuesdaywas a special day. We had an assembly second period and I was excited. I wondered what it would be about. I thought some assemblies were cool and others were dreadful. The main reason I liked the assemblies; was because it was the only place where I was safe.

"All right everyone, I need your attention." The principal said.

Everyone looked toward her and sat down in their seats.

"Welcome here everyone. Today is a special day." The principal said.

"On behalf of Winston Highschool and the music association on the East; I would like to present Desmon Larson."

My mouth hung open, I couldn't believe that Desmond was at our school. This was just crazy he was my idol. I had pictures and posters of him everywhere. I had the biggest crush on him. There were times I'd kiss his poster and pretend he was my boyfriend.

He walked out and I was freaking out.

"Hey guys, I'm Desmond. How are you today?" He asked.

The students barley said anything and I just wanted to scream: "I LOVE YOU!". Of course I held that back. I couldn't be viewed as even more of a freak, it would have been the end of my life today.

Boy was I happy that I was sitting in the first row and he was talking and looking right at me sometimes.

"For the first part of the presentation, I want to perform a song." He said.

I loved his music. My favorite song that he did was the cover of "Dirty Little Secret." by the All American Rejects. I loved that he slowed the tempo down and made it a little more "erotic" per se.

He took out his guitar and played the first chord. Right from that moment, I knew he was playing it. I was so excited. My face lit up brightly.

Man his music was simply amazing. Through him playing the music it felt like I was in another world.

He was getting close to the finish of the song and I was getting excited.

"I'll keep you my dirty little secret, who has to know."

As he closed the song with that line, he shot a wink in my direction. I blushed a deep red color, I hope no one saw that.

Everyone clapped. I was still shocked at what just happened.

"So how many of you here have a CD or know of a song of mine?" He asked.

I was the first person to put my hand up and there were a few others. These people were pathetic, how could they not know a man as great as him?

"That makes me pretty happy to know that some of you know of me. It means the world to me that you lovely people buy my CD's. It also makes me thrilled that I have the privilege to come and speak to you! I was asked to come here and talk about: life, dreams, your futures and setting goals for yourself." He said.

Once again we all clapped our hands.

"I want to start off by saying hopes, dreams and goals are very important for someone to have. I always recommend for people to set goals for themselves." He said.

I think that I was going to be interested in this speech.

"There are many different kinds of goals you can have, which is also great. For example: wanting to score a ninety on the next test you write. That does count as a goal. One thing make sure your goals in life are realistic. An unrealistic goal is: I want to have all the money in the world. That is a pretty impossible task."

Everyone giggled.

The presentation continued on and he spoke about his childhood fantasies. The fantasy was just too funny. He told us how he always dreamed of being a princess and how he wanted to find his prince. I thought it to be just so cute. I laughed my ass off though. I loved how he was so open about something like that.

"I was also asked if I could speak about different industries like: fashion and law. To be honest, I don't know very much about those topics. The one industry I do know is music. So I decided to dedicate my presentation to that."

I was ready to hear what he had to say.

"First off, the music industry is tough, a lot of people get rejected and it's very competitive. If you're entering the music industry you have to have passion. That's the most important thing to have, is passion. Without passion there's no chance of hope at all for you. Passion is key. I want to try something with you.

A man goes to school for eight years after high school to further his education in the history of music. He's a very very smart man and he wants to be on top. He's very competitive by nature. He has the want but not so much passion. He walks with his head held high and has a massive amount of confidence. Some would almost say arrogant. He goes to audition and get a job and gets rejected.

A girl who dropped out of school at age fourteen, decided she'd take a few singing lessons. She has all the passion and dedication in the world. She attends the same audition as the man and she gets accepted. Why is that?" He asked.

The answer to that question was so simple. I knew it right away. I needed to answer it. I wanted to make a good impression for the fine man of Desmond.

I raised my hand as high as it could go. I hoped he'd choose me.

"You." He said.

I couldn't tell if he was pointing at me or the person behind me. I pointed at myself.

"Yes you. The good looking one with the smokey brown eyes, amazing eyeliner and bright pink lips." He said.

I stood up and blushed. Desmond just called me good looking.

"Name please?" He asked.

"Adam." I said.

"Love the name. So why does the girl make the cut, but not the guy?" He asked.

"I feel that the answer is a fairly simple one to be honest. The girl has passion and dedication. Sure she doesn't have the knowledge the guy does, but not once was his true passion and dedication for music mentioned. Sure you need a little education, but music is about more than that." I said.

I was so proud of myself. The presentation proceeded and he was at his last point. Questions. He would take about ten questions in total. I knew I should ask him one, but I wasn't sure if that was such a good idea. Although I was pretty able to guarantee that my question would be better than some of these ones being asked.

Someone asked him if he was gay. First off: not a true fan. All of this true fans know he's gay, he came out and said it once on an interview. Two: was she not paying attention to his childhood fantasy? He wanted to the princess, NOT the prince. He had already taken nine questions so I had no choice, it would be my last chance.

I raised up my hand.

"For the last question, I choose Adam." He said with a smile.

I was so excited.

"What do you do if your heart wants a career in music, but your parents want you to run a toy shop?" I asked.

"Honestly to that I would say follow your heart. Sure your parents raised you, but in the end you know what's best for you. If your heart wants music and you're dedicated and passionate; all I can say is go for it." He said.

I was happy.

It had been about two weeks since Desmond and I hung out for the first time. Yes, after school I managed to run and find him still in the auditorium. We spoke for a little and it ended with a ride home and his phone number. That was so exciting. I was getting to talk to my favorite artist of all time.

Did I mention we're going on an "official" date tonight? Yes Desmond asked me out on a date the other day and I'm excited.

To be honest I was surprised that he even asked me out. I mean there is a pretty big age difference with him and I. I'm sixteen and he's thirty-eight. That's a pretty big deal to me. I was still jail bait to him. We'd make a joke about that sometimes, but it was a serious truth.

He'd have to be really careful with me.

I waited around until the door bell finally rang. I got all nervous inside, he was here and I was going on a date with him.

"Hey there handsome." He said.

"Hey," I said shyly.

"All I get is a hey?" He asked.

I blushed and nodded my head.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked.

"Somewhere you will love, it's where I started out my music career." He said.

I was all smiles. That was amazing. He was taking me to the 'RockBerry Cafe.' That was just a huge deal.

I couldn't believe that he and I were actually in the place where he was noticed. This was just huge. I mean this felt so serious. I wondered how serious he took us though. Was I just a little toy for him? That was the only thing that worried me a little.

"Desmond." I said.

"Yes Adam?" He asked.

"I'm scared being here." I said.

"why?" He asked

"There are so many amazing people here and I'm not." I said.

"Are you crazy? You're amazing really, so so amazing at singing." He said.

"I'm nothing compared to them though, am I?" I asked.

"We both know that's a lie. You're more talented than some of the people in this place. You will love it, I know you will." He said.

I smiled and we walked in hand in hand.

When we walked in, it was amazing. I felt so at home; everyone loved music. I could see and feel the passion these people had. I would fit right in.

Desmond and I were in bliss here together. It was where we were so comfortable; in a place where music was the way of life. This was where I belonged.

The date was going amazing. Desmond and I had just so much in common it was great. We both had similar issues when we were back in school. We both had the same type of hopes and dreams and that made me happy. Desmond was such an amazing guy and I had this urge to just kiss him. I knew I couldn't though he was going to be viewed as a pedophile. I never wanted that to happen.

Desmond and I kept hanging around and talking and getting closer. That was just great. Desmond told me many times, I was the best guy he ever dated. That made me blush and smile, I couldn't believe he was saying those words.

"Desmond I had a great time." I said as he was walking me home.

"So didI." He said.

"I don't want this to end." I said.

"Neither do I." He said.

"sucks that it has to." I said.

"It doesn't. Come to my place." He said.

"Okay." I agreed without even thinking.

What if this was just a trick and he was going to rape me? He was just going to use me tonight, wasn't he?

We arrived at his house and I was amazed. I couldn't believe that houses like this existed here, in the town I lived in. I wanted to go inside and at the same time I didn't. I was a little scared to be honest. I really cared for Desmond, but I was a little uneasy with being here. If he was going to try something I wasn't able to just leave. He had me trapped.

"Is something wrong?" He asked.

"Uh..." I paused.

"Tell me what you mean, please." He said.

"I'm just a little nervous being here that's all." I said.

"Don't be, you will be totally fine." He said.

I believed him.

Turns out he was right, he was the sweetest thing ever. He treated me like I was his prince. He was so sweet and so kind. He showed me his music room. This is where he let me start writing a song. I was amazed, I didn't think he'd let me do that. Talk about an honor. He said that I had great potential so he said I should go for it. Just because he suggested it, I would go for it. If someone like Desmond tells me to go for it, I would.

"Adam, come join me on the couch." He said.

I walked over to him happily and sat down. He wrapped his arm around me and he laid his head on my shoulder. I was in a different world; a perfect world though.

"You're so hot." He said out of nowhere.

Before I knew it, his big luscious lips were up against my pasty chapped ones. The kiss was fiery and hot and I was in heaven. He was such a great kisser.

"Desmond that was amazing." I whispered.

"I know." He agreed.

"How would you like to be my boyfriend?" He asked.

"I would love that." I said.

Our lips met once more and I was in total bliss. His lips and mine fit together perfectly, it was just amazing. It was almost as if his lips were destined to be on mine.

This was just so crazy, here I was a sixteen year old boy kissing a thirty eight year old man; and neither one of us cared.

That kiss that we just shared meant more to me then people would think. That kiss was; Desmond telling me to go for music. The kiss was passion and love. The kiss was our seal that we were now an official couple.

In the end age was never the issue, it was finding someone who loved me.