89.4 Zombie Radio

I shut the door to my cabin behind me and flopped down on the bed. The ceiling was always my best friend in nights like these. I could tell the ceiling anything, and he always listened. Tonight however, there really wasn't much to tell my old friend. I just stared him dead in the face, and if he had a head, he would surely have been shaking at me. Bob, you dumb ass, why couldn't you just have come out with it sooner? Why couldn't you have just admitted it in the first place? Now, she's his. Why are you still alive again?

I dug out the sleeping pills, still nestled safely away in a corner of my backpack and stared them down. Fuck it, I thought to myself. You were wrong, you always were. You're useless, and don't deserve happiness. What have you ever done right? The thoughts just started circling in my head, and I knew there was only one way to get them to stop, but as soon as I opened the bottle, I heard a desperate knock at the door, and a frantic Roxy yelling outside.

"Bob! I'm coming in! So don't be naked or I swear to fucking God!"

I threw the bottle under the pillow as fast as I could, I didn't want her to know I even had them. Roxy opened the door and sat down next to me. She didn't say anything to me, but I knew she could read my mind. I've known this girl for under a week and she could already knew me better than anyone I had ever met. It was amazing what situations like the apocalypse make you learn about yourself and others. She threw her arms around me and gave me a gentle hug. I didn't give her any reaction, I just stared straight ahead and sighed.

"I know dude. This fucking sucks," she said. "But you have to move on from this. I know it isn't easy, but..."

"But what?" I replied, interrupting whatever it was she was about to say. "Move on? To what? Its the fucking end of the world! That fish in the sea bull shit doesn't exactly apply here Roxy!" Roxy got quiet and I could tell she was trying to think of something to say. It actually came as a surprise to me, Roxy usually had a response to everything.

"Well Bob, you're right. I don't like admitting it, but you're right," she said. "But here's what I think. It won't take long before Trevor fucks up, and I guarantee he will fuck up. You just have to keep at it bro, you'll see. Its all going to work out. Even if it doesn't, I remember you telling me you would be happy as long as she was. So if you were planning on hurting yourself, I fucking beg of you to reconsider."

"Well Roxy, if there's one huge weakness of mine, its that I have almost no ability to lie. Yea, right now, its under heavy consideration," I told her.

"Motherfucker, I'll sit here all night and watch your ass. You will not kill yourself, shit you'll have to kill me first, and quite honestly I don't think you have it in you!" she shouted. I couldn't help but smile after what she said. I had never felt worse about something in my life, and this girl knew exactly what to say to make me smile. I guess that was something special.

"Look, I even brought something for us if shit gets bad," she said as she pulled out the joint from earlier this evening. "See, I come prepared motherfucker!" My smile turned to laughter and finally the thoughts went away. Roxy talked earlier about us being a family, and right now, I felt like I had finally found my place. She was right, we were a family now, and right now my sister was doing what she had to do to look out for me. It was something that I didn't have in the past. I realized that this was what my life was missing before. It was missing someone who really gave a damn.

"Roxy, that's very noble of you, but I think I'll pass on it actually," I said. "Jessie was right about the whole drug and alcohol thing before."

"Fuck yea! I was hoping you'd say that. If you didn't I'd get worried, because honestly, I don't feel like staying here all night and babysitting," she told me. "Are you going to be alright?"

"Yea, I think I will. I mean, I'm hurt, but I'll get over it," I answered. "You brought some things in perspective for me, and for that I'm grateful."

"No problem bro, you'd do the same for me," she said. "You're a cool motherfucker, and I don't just give that compliment out to anyone. You'll never catch me saying some shit like that to motherfuckin' Trevor. Trust me though, I know what's going to happen with all this. Its going to be fine."

"I hope you're right," I told her. "I can tell you're tired, don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I promise

"You sure?" she asked.

"Positive," I replied. "It may take me a while to actually sleep tonight, but I'll be okay."

"I'm leaving this joint in here just in case," she said. "If you start feelin' all fuckin' emo and shit, you light this bad motherfucker up. Doctor Roxy commands it."

"I'll be fine," I told her as I looked up at her and smiled. Roxy left, and it was once again me and the ceiling. I flopped my head down on the pillow, and felt the pills that I had forgotten about still stuffed underneath. I took them out and took a few, I was usually opposed to taking them, but I knew I wouldn't sleep if I didn't. I stuffed them back into the back pack and stared upwards until I dozed off. The next morning, I was awoken by the sound of someone trying to pound my door down. I hopped out of bed and got ready for the worst.

"Bob! Its me again! I'm coming in!" she said as she opened the door. "Hey! Is Layla in here with you? We can't find her anywhere! Her or Jessie!"

"What?" I replied, trying to shake the cobwebs off. "No neither of them are here."

"Fuck! I didn't figure they were. Fucking shit! We can't find them, or that Gabe dude, or the fucking new guy either! We've been looking for them for a few hours now!" she explained.

"Wait, the new guy is missing too?" I asked.

"Yea, why?" she replied.

"Fuck! Jack was right! Fucking shit!" I screamed as I jumped out of bed.

"Jack knew about this?" she asked.

"No! He just had a feeling!" I yelled back. "I'll be out to help look in a minute. Just give me one sec."

Roxy left the cabin and I got everything ready to move out. I wasn't wasting any time. I knew the more I waited, the further that asshole would be with Layla. I marched outside to where everyone had gathered and tracked down Jack.

"You were right Jack! That guy has them! I know he does!" I yelled.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Who has who?" Jack asked.

"That crazy fuck we picked up has them! Look! His truck was right there! Its gone now! You're intuition was right!" I frantically screamed.

"Bob, breath in there buddy. Its going to be okay," Jack said. I didn't respond, instead I was busy trying to think of how to find them. I got out my phone, which was borderline dead, and searched for Jessie's number.

"Bob, we already tried that. Neither of them is picking up their phone right now," Roxy explained.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I threw my phone into a tree and shattered it into pieces. There wasn't an eyeball in the group that wasn't staring at me. I didn't care. I found Trevor's face in the crowd and started to make my way towards him.

"You! What the fuck! She was with you last night! Where the fuck were you in all of this!?" I screamed. Carter caught me on the way over to him, and held me back.

"What the fuck? This is my fault now? Yea I was with her last night, but she told me she was going to bed, so I went back to my cabin and went sleep. What's the big fuckin' deal?" Trevor said smugly.

"What's the big fucking deal!?" I yelled back. "I'll tell you what the big fucking deal is!"

"Bob, just stop. This isn't helping," Dr.Grant said. Everything got quiet for a moment. It was clear through the silence that we were all thinking the same thing. What do we do now?

"I'm not giving up! Just call her one last time Roxy! Just one one more try! Please!" I pleaded. I heard someone approaching from behind, and turned to see that it was Dalton.

"What's going on? Where's Jessie at? I tried her cabin, I tried the lake and I don't see her with you guys either," he said.

"We... can't find her. We think the new guy might have taken her and Layla somewhere," Dean explained.

"You're joking right!?" Dalton said.

"I'm calling one more time," Roxy said as she picked up the phone and put it to her ear.

"Please tell me you're joking!" Dalton yelled.

"No, I'm sorry kid, but its no joke," Jack informed him.

"We're going to find them right!?" he asked.

"No answer, I'm sorry guys," Roxy said.

"Yes Dalton! We are going to go find them! We're leaving right now! I won't fucking rest until I find them!" I yelled.

"Well, you both know the rules. If you go, we can't help you," Dean said.

"What fucking rules!?" I yelled.

"You know, the rules we all agreed upon before. The ones about no more rescue missions, every man for themselves," Dean explained.

"I never agreed to that! When the fuck did this all happen!?" I shouted.

"You were getting CD's," Riley said.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"It doesn't matter to me, I'm going regardless!" Dalton said.

"I'm going with you!" I yelled back.

"Holy shit!" Roxy exclaimed. "My phone's going off, hold on a second!" Roxy dug her phone out of her pocket and started to examine what appeared to be a text message. I could tell she was puzzled by the look on her face.

"Two? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" she asked.

"Who's texting you!?" Dalton shouted.

"Its Layla, but all she sent was the number two," Roxy said. "Doesn't make any fucking sense. I'll text her back." Roxy typed up a text and sent it back to Layla, and we were all eager for a response. A few minutes passed before we finally got the reply we were waiting for.

"It says two, help. That's all it says. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Roxy asked.

"It means they're in fucking trouble!" Dalton yelled.

"Dude, calm down," Roxy said. "I know how you feel, but just calm down."

Roxy sent her something back and we all waited around in silence for her to send something back. I knew I was pacing, it was something I did when I was nervous. I couldn't help it, I was just praying to God she sent something back soon, because if she didn't, I wasn't sure what I'd do. Finally I heard Roxy's ringtone go off, and I thanked God with all my heart.

"This one says S.T.R.T. Four... Again, I'm not quite getting it," Roxy said.

"Give me the phone! Please!" Dalton yelled.

"No, look neither of you are going okay! Its like I was telling Bob earlier, we're a fucking family now, and I'm not letting either of you do this!" Roxy shouted as she started to type a response. "I'm telling her that right now."

"No don't!" Dalton yelled.

"I'm sorry, but they're on their own," Roxy replied.

"She's right, I hate to admit it, but we just have to all be glad we're alive right now," Jack added.

"Fuck all of you!" I shouted. Dalton rushed over and snatched the phone out of Roxy's hands and she punched him square in the jaw. The shot knocked him to the ground, but he got back up quick, like it didn't even phase him and started to text Layla back. Roxy was quickly making her way over to Dalton to get her phone back.

"Motherfucker! My phone! Now!" she yelled, but Dalton didn't budge.

"Roxy listen!" I shouted. "I'm going! It doesn't matter what you say, I'm still going to go. I'm pretty sure Dalton is coming with me too. I'm glad you care, it means a lot to me, but can we please borrow your phone to try and find them? As a friend, no as family, this is the favor I ask of you."

Roxy didn't respond, she just glared me in the face. I knew she was trying to think of some new reason for me not to go. There was nothing she could say that was going to stop me though, and I knew she knew that. I'm a man who risks his life for CD's, imagine my determination when its someone I love.

"Roxy, just let him go," Jack said. "Its his choice, let him do what he thinks is right." Roxy just sighed and backed off of Dalton, who had just gotten a return text from Layla.
"The numbers are roads!" he shouted.

"You guys are fucking idiots! Seriously, no piece of pussy is worth all of this!" Trevor said. As soon as those words left his mouth my expression went blank and I marched my way right in front of him.

"Oh you're going to hit me? Is that it? You don't have the fucking balls man!" Trevor shouted. I remembered my plan. It was time to finally put it into action. I just hoped Billie Crystal was right about this. I cocked back and slammed my forehead into his nose. He went down fast, and I wasn't about to let him get back up. I mounted him and started burying my fists into his face until my hands were covered in blood. If nobody would have jumped in, I would've finished the job, but Jack and Dean both rushed over and pulled me off of him.

I looked back at what I had done, and smiled. It felt good to get that out of the way. I probably looked like a crazy person with my hands covered in blood and an evil smile spread across my face, but by no means was I in my right mind.

"Jessie's with her! I just got three texts back from her! They were on one thirteen and now the next one says B-View. I'm guessing its a town or something," Dalton said.

"Then that's where we're going," I said.

"Let's go!" Dalton shouted. I dug out my atlas and started to look for the roads Layla had been texting us. I knew we were in Ohio now, but where the hell in Ohio we were, was a whole different story.

"We're not coming back for any of you!" Roxy shouted.

"I don't want you to," I said. "You're right, its an unnecessary risk for the rest of you, but I'll never be able to live with myself if I don't try. I do ask just one more favor from all of you. Call the radio station everyday, I'll be listening. That's how we'll find you if we make it through this."

"We will Bob, now go," Dr.Grant said. "Tell them I said hi when you find them."

"Tell them we all say hi!" Roxy added.

"I will, and thanks for understanding Roxy. I'll be fine," I told her.

"Its not you I'm worried about anymore," she replied. "You do me a favor, and call in to the station every night. We'll be listening too. Promise me motherfucker!"

"I promise," I said. And with that Dalton and I started to make our way down the path leading to the road. I knew we needed a faster way to travel, because by the time we walked there, and I saw a car in the parking lot as we left. I looked back and decided to ask one more favor.

"Hey! Would it be too much to ask for someone to help me get this car going?" I said.

"Sure bro, no problem," Brock replied. He came over and got the car going in no time. "By the way, Jessie will love this car."

"I know, that's half the reason I picked it. Well, that and its the only one in the entire parking lot. I know if I pick a piece of shit I will definitely get yelled at," I explained. Brock laughed and Dalton nodded in agreement. It was a beautiful car, a 1966 Cadillac Convertible, as Brock had explained. I had never quite had an eye for cars, and my theory was as long as it ran, it was fine.

Dalton and I said our final goodbyes to everyone and I had to laugh as Trevor was just now peeling himself off the ground. We took off down the road, headed for B-View, wherever the hell that is. Layla may have broken my heart, but I didn't care. I was in love, and I knew Dalton was too. If he wasn't, he wouldn't be going on this little suicide mission. Layla here I come... Just hang on.