Waking The Fallen

F.F. two weeks

I woke up and ran straight to the bathroom for the third time this week. Gah! What the fuck is wrong with me? I never get sick like this. Sides for once in my life I haven't been drinking just arg! The next thing I know I'm puking again but someone's holding my hair and rubbing my back.

"Are you OK?" Jimmy asks as I finish puking my guts out.

"Yeah. I just think I have the flu or something," I say getting up and brushing my teeth.

"You sure you're OK?" Jimmy asks once I'm done brushing my teeth.

"Yeah I'm fine," I say smiling.

"Alright. I gotta go. GG called earlier and said she wants you to swing by when you're ready you, her, and Megan are gonna have a girl's day," Jimmy says kissing me.

"Mkay. Luvb you," I say smiling.

"Luvb you too. Bye," Jimmy says kissing me again before leaving.

I smile to myself and take a shower go through my morning routine and get dressed in a long-sleeved halter top with the shoulders cut out and bondage pants then head out to GG's.

I walk into GG's place to smell something like fried chicken and I instantly run to the bathroom and puke my guts out again.

"Love are you OK?" Megan asks as soon as I walk out of the bathroom.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just have the flu I think," I say shrugging.

"You want anything to eat while I'm in the kitchen?" GG yells.

"Yeah a peanut butter and pickle sandwich," I say sitting down.

"What the fuck?" Megan asks looking at me weird as GG walks into the room.

"What did you just ask for?" GG asks.

"A peanut butter and pickle sandwich" I say like it's not big deal.

"Wait didn't she just puke?" GG asks Megan.

"Yeah are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Megan asks GG looking at me.

"What the fuck are you two thinking?" I ask looking back and forth from Megan and GG.

"Are you pregnant?" Megan asks.

"What? No! Of course not Jimmy and I haven't done it since before Daddy... oh shit," I say as my eyes get as big as a saucer.

"What?" GG asks as she and Megan sit down.

"I'm late, I've been sick forever. Oh god how did I not see this?" I say playing with my lip ring.

"Aw," both GG and Megan coo.

"No! Not aw! What am I gonna do if I am pregnant? I'm getting married in a month I can't get any fatter! I already have my dress. And how the fuck is Jimmy going to take it?" I ask freaking the fuck out.

"Calm the fuck down! Let's go get a pregnancy test before your fucking head explodes," Megan says laughing.

"It's not fucking funny," I say freaking the fuck out to a further extent.

"OK just hurry up," I whine getting up.

"Gah! There's so fucking many! Which one should I get?" I ask Megan and GG looking at the many pregnancy tests on the shelf at CVS.

"How about this one it says its 99.9% accurate," GG says handing me a box.

"What if I'm the .1%?" I say chewing on my lip ring.

"Well if it says you're preggers we'll take you to the doctor," Megan says reassuringly.

"Foine," I say picking up the box.

"Now go pay for it," Megan says shoving me towards the counter.

"I'm going," I say evilly glaring at her. I pay for the thing and then we go back to GG's.

"So I piss on this stick and then we have to wait five fucking minutes?" I ask Megan for the millionth time once we're back at GG's.

"Yesh now fucking do it already," GG says shoving me in the bathroom.

This little fucking thing now determines the rest of my life. What the fuck? How the hell did this happen? Oh yeah that's right. I like how it happened. Just the results I don't know. I sigh to myself then I pee on the stick then set it on the counter and set on the opposite side.

"Have you peed on it yet?" Megan asks through the door.

"Yeah," I say leaning against the wall.

"So just five minutes," Megan says as she and GG walk in.

"Yeah then the fate of the rest of my life is decided," I say rubbing my hands up and down my face.

"So I take it you don't want to be preggers," GG says.

"It's not that I don't want to be preggers, I mean fuck I'd love to be, but I don't know how Jimmy will take it if I am preggers," I say chewing on my lip ring.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. Hell I bet he'll be more excited about the whole damn thing than you are," Megan says smiling at me.

"What if he's not though? I mean what if he doesn't want kids. We never really talked about it," I say nearly jumping three feet when GG screams.

"Times Up!"

OK so this is the moment that determines my life from here on out. Fuck! I'm not ready to
me a mom. Am I? I mean I'm only twenty-three; that's really fucking young. I mean when the kid graduates I'll only be fucking forty-one. Mom was that old when I was fucking six.

"Christina!" Megan yells.

"What?" I yell back.

"Fucking look so we know," Megan says laughing.

"OK, OK already damn! How do I know if I'm preggers?" I ask picking up the stick.

"It says pregnant or not pregnant you dumbfuck," Megan says laughing while rolling her eyes.

"So knew that," I say looking at the stick.

I look down at the stick and slowly brace myself for what the fuck ever is about to happen. I slowly move my thumb away from the screen and see the word pregnant. My eyes get big and my hands start to shake slightly as I feel my eyes burn and my chin quiver. What? I how? I can't be pregnant. I mean I just can't be pregnant. Oh goth. I just I…I…I

"CD?" Megan asks lightly tapping my arm.

"It says I'm pregnant," I say smiling slightly.

"Really? That's great," GG says as she and Megan envelope me in a hug.

"Yeah. Um... I'm gonna go home OK guys," I say shaking myself free of Megan and GG walking towards the door.

"Are you OK?" Megan asks.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm just gonna try to figure out how to tell Jimmy. Don't tell the guys," I say smiling.

"OK call us if you need us," GG says smiling.

"OK byez luvb y'all," I say opening the door.

"Byez luvb you too," both of them say as I walk outside.

At home

I walk through the door and walk straight to the bedroom. I sit down on the bed and hang my head down. I look at my hands to see that I'm still holding my test stick. I walk into the bathroom wrap it in toilet paper and then throw it away then walk back and lay down on the bed. Tears of frustration and a couple of fear slowly make their way down my cheeks as I become engrossed by the battle going on in my mind: should I tell Jimmy.

Maybe I could just not tell him? That is until five months later he asks why I'm getting fat. Well then again not telling him would only make matters that much worse when he finds out that I am preggers. What the fuck am I gonna do if he doesn't want kids? This fucking suck! Then again he could take it really well and be so excited. Why does the woman have to deal with all the shit in the relationship? The fucking guys don't get anything to worry about! It's not fucking fair!

I come crashing down out of my little world when I hear Jimmy's voice echoing through the apartment calling my name. I quickly wipe my eyes and cheeks hoping to conceal the fact that I've been crying. "There you are. What's up?" Jimmy asks laying on the bed beside me.

"Nothing much. How was your day?" I ask Jimmy as I slowly roll over so I'm facing him.

"OK. It was kinda weird; are you crying?" Jimmy asks looking at me.

"No. Something just got stuck in my contact damn things," I say laughing rubbing my eye.

"Oh. OK," Jimmy says not really sounding convinced.

"Jimmy I have a question," I say trying to think of the most tactful way to approach the whole me being pregnant thing.

"What is it?" Jimmy asks moving my bangs out of my eyes.

"The other day I realized we've never really talked about the whole kids thing. I was just wondering if you wanted kids or not," I say while playing with my lip ring.

"I want kids someday. What are you so nervous about?" Jimmy asks with concern.

"Nervous? I'm not nervous about anything. What makes you think I'm nervous about something?" I ask looking at Jimmy funny.

"You only play with your lip ring like that when you're nervous. I mean come on babe I might not be the smartest guy but I know you pretty damn good," Jimmy says laughing.

Fuck it I'm going to, no I have to, tell him. I mean if I don't it'll eat away at me and when he finds out I've known it'll kill him. OK here goes nothing. "OK fine. Something is bugging me. Before I tell you though you have to promise you won't get upset .OK?" I ask Jimmy.

"What did you do?" Jimmy asks sitting up.

"Nothing I swear just promise?" I ask him sitting up.

"Promise?" he more asks then says.

"OK. Well, you see I… I'm… I'm," I stammer out before I get all teary eyed.

"You're what?" Jimmy asks putting his arm around me.

"I'm pregnant," I say looking down at my hands in my lap.

"You're what?" Jimmy asks putting his hand under my chin making me look at him.

"I'm pregnant," I say with a slight smile. The next thing I know Jimmy's lips are crashing onto mine.

"Are you serious?" Jimmy asks taking my hands and lacing his fingers with mine.

"Yeppers," I say with a smile.

"When did you… find out?" Jimmy asks in-between kisses.

"Earlier today. But I'm not 100% sure yet," I say giggling.

"What?" Jimmy asks confused.

"Well I am but I still have to go to a doctor and have him tell me I'm preggers," I explain.

"I'm gonna be a Daddy! I'm gonna go tell the guys," Jimmy says jumping up bounding out of the room making me laugh. "Come on," Jimmy says running back into the room a few minutes later grabbing me by the hand and dragging me out to the car.

"Why won't they fucking answer the door," Jimmy asks practically knocking the door down at Brian's place.

"Calm the fuck down I'm coming," I hear Brian say from the other side of the door making me laugh.

"Hurry the fuck up," Jimmy says back moving around.

"What?" Brian snaps as he opens the door.

"I'm gonna be a Daddy," Jimmy says pulling me to him smiling from ear to ear.

"Congratulations now fucking come in before you fucking attack something other than my door," Brian says making me laugh.

Brian leads us into the living room where everyone else is. GG and Megan see the smile on Jimmy's face and have the infamous I told you so look on their faces making me roll my eyes.

"Guess the fuck what guys," Jimmy says sitting down pulling me onto his lap.

"What?" everyone mutters at some point.

"Do you wanna tell them or you want me to tell them?" Jimmy asks.

"Knock yourself out," I say laughing.

"CD's pregnant," Jimmy says smiling from ear to ear.

"Really?" Zacky asks.

"No we're just making this shit up to see how y'all will react when we do have kids," I say with as straight face.

"That was gay," Zacky says looking at us weird.

"For fucks sake. I love you but damn you're dumb," Krista says kissing Zacky.

"So she is pregnant?" Zacky asks.

"Well, as much as I'd love to sit here and make fun of you cracktakula-ness Zacky we need to go," I say standing up.

"You two came here to tell us your preggers and that's it?" Megan asks laughing.

"Pretty much," I say shrugging as Jimmy and I walk towards the door.

"Do you think you should call to get a doctor's appointment?" Jimmy asks as we sit on the couch once we're home.

"Will you go with me?" I ask putting my head on Jimmy's shoulder.

"If you schedule it yeah I'll come with you," Jimmy says kissing my head.

"Do I have to get up?" I ask snuggling in closer to Jimmy.

"Unless you know the number of where to call," Jimmy says laughing.

"Can we just worry about it later?" I ask snuggling even closer to Jimmy.

"What are you doing?" Jimmy asks laughing.

"I don't know. Fuck," I whine.

"What?" Jimmy asks laughing.

"I gotta call Jade and Smith and tell them," I pout.

"Do you want to go up there and tell them?" Jimmy asks.

"I guess let me call Jade and see if we can stay with him," I say digging my phone out of my pocket.

"Hey Stina what do you want?" Jade asks.

"I was wondering if Jimmy and me could come up and stay the night? There's something we need to tell you," I say biting my lip.

"Sure I don't care," Jade says shrugging.

"OK see you later then. Bye," I say smiling

"Bye."

"Now we get to pack," I say not moving.

"Babe in order for this to work you kinda have to move," Jimmy says laughing.

"I no wanna move," I pout.

"Then we can't go. "Gah! If I get up will you pack decently for me?" I ask.

"Sure," Jimmy says laying my on the couch getting up.

About fifteen minutes later Jimmy walks through with two bags and takes them out to the car. He comes back in and I hold my arms up like a little kid. Jimmy rolls his eyes but picks me up and off to Berkley we go.