I and Love and You

Life without Bryn is like a door without it’s handle; it can still swing back and forth when needed but is never able to close properly. It’s faulty.

Without Bryn, it’s like my life has spiralled into oblivion. It’s a worthless hole of hate, for myself, sadness, again, for myself, and depression. Depression? Is that what it is? Feeling nothing at all, not able to get out of bed in the morning because you simply do not have the will to do so? If it is like that, then I guess I have it.

Sometimes I wonder if Bryn was ever real, if she was ever my girlfriend, the love of my life. Bryn. But, when I see her mother or father on my sporadic grocery outings, I remember everything. I remember the first time she kissed me, the first time I met her parents, the first time she had chemotherapy.

Then I drift off again, into that same place. It’s the home I have lived in for two months. It’s where darkness and hate live. We’re all good friends.