Preventing Insanity

Dear Cedric,

I know you’ll never see this letter, and even if you do, it’ll probably be years later after all this is over, or after I’m dead. Either way, you won’t be reading this in a timely fashion, but I can’t help but write it.

I really think if I don’t start writing you random letters like this, I’m going to go crazy. I’ve only had contact with Harry, Ron, and Hermione for months now, and it’s really taking a toll on my nerves. The last contact we had with anyone was when we broke into the Ministry, and from then on, it’s been nothing but us four, out against the world.

So yes, it was us you saw that day at the Ministry, when we broke in. We were after Slytherins Locket, which is a Horcrux. Umbridge had it, so we were kind of narrow on choices on how to get it back, and that’s how it happened. It thrilled me to see you, but it was only a glance. I think you saw more of my Patronus than me, but that’s okay. You usually see enough of me anyways, what with us living together pretty much all last year. We’re practically married.

Oh, so onto the Horcrux hunting. We’ve still only found the one, and we don’t know how to get rid of it. You can’t just get rid of these things any other old way, no, it takes some serious magic to kill these things, and the only ways Hermione and I have been able to come up with are Basilisk venom and Fiendfyre, the former we have no way of getting and the latter is way too dangerous. If you have any ideas, let me know.

…oh wait… never mind then…

You see? I told you I was going crazy.

But, moving right along… so it’s nearly Christmas. Since you seem to count it as “when it all started” (though I disagree, I still stand by that it all started on Valentines), we’ll have been together for four years. Four years! Can you believe that? It’s really crazy… I just can’t believe it. It’s incredible that we’ve made it work for so long, and through all the hard times and danger. I’m almost tearing up here, thinking about it, because I miss you so, so much. It’s like part of me is missing from my body, because you have that part, and I’m not going to be whole again until I can be with you again. But we both know the criteria for that.

Oh, haha, I just realized my mistake I made up there. We actually haven’t seen Ron in a couple of weeks. He decided to split like the git he is and left us. I was glad to be rid of him at first, because he’s been so cranky and irritable since we acquired the Horcrux, but it’s really weird without him around. I sort of wish he would come back, because I know Hermione and Harry want him to. So it’s kind of a low time in our camping lives.

And that’s something else I forgot to mention, is we’re camping, and have been doing so since the Ministry incident. See, when we tried to Apparate to the Black house (which was our base of operations for a while) a Death Eater (I think Yaxley) grabbed onto Hermione, and we accidentally brought him inside the Fidelius Charm, so we’ve literally been on the run since. It’s not at all fun, it’s almost like being back with the Dursleys, because there’s hardly ever enough food to go around. I mean, Harry and I are used to it, and Hermione doesn’t complain, but Ron… ugh, he was so grumpy when he didn’t get enough food. And we’re all dropping weight like mad… it’s unhealthy.

I hope you’re doing okay. I really want to see you, even if it’s from a distance. And I hope everyone else is okay, especially Sarlanda, because I know she had to go underground at some point. So if and or when you see anyone, tell them I love them and say hi for me. If it’s George, pour some water on him. I’m still upset about his ear.

One final thought before I go… I’ve decided on a name. If and/or when we get married (I know you hate the “if” word, but let’s be realistic here, either one of us could get killed at any time, me more likely than you even) and we have kids, the first boy I want to name Regulus. Like, after Sirius’s little brother, Regulus Black. Now that I know who he was… he might have been a Slytherin, but he was actually really smart and very caring. He figured out Voldemort’s Horcruxes before even Dumbledore did, and when Voldemort abused Kreature, he got really pissed and that’s what sort of set him over the edge and made him steal the locket. So you see, not all Slytherins are bad, and Sarlanda isn’t the exception to the stereotype anymore.

I hope you’ll write back soon.

Preventing insanity with an I love you,

Jennifer