Ten Zillion Fireflies

April 15, 2009
8:42 p.m.

“Cam,” I shout giggling. “Where are we going?” I ask, chasing him through the woods. He stops, waiting for me to catch up.

“You’ll see.” He says with a smile, and takes my hand. “It’s a special place.” Cam explains.
After only a few more minutes us untangling me from the vines and the thorns, we walk into a massive field filled with wildflowers of every color. And there are so many things that I want to say, but I cannot say anything because there are no words in any written language to describe what I am looking at and feeling in this moment. Cam notices this and chuckles.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” He asks in more of a statement, and I can only nod. Cam’s blonde hair shines brightly in the sunlight as he pulls me closer to him. I smile as his free hand finds my face. The hands of a musician, strong and powerful, yet gentle and soft. I melt into his touch and watch as his face moves closer to mine. My eyes flutter shut as his lips touch mine. Even after all this time, I still couldn’t kiss him without losing my breath. He smiles into our kiss making fun of me. Cam gently untangles himself from me, and takes my hand. I follow his lead to the center where a blanket has been laid out for this special occasion.
I sit on the blanket and my 1950’s style garden dress billows around me. Cam settles in beside me arranging and adjusting himself around my dress until I am wrapped safely inside his arms.

“You look beautiful Madelynne,” He says. “I love dresses on you.” I smile as I lie back against Cam; the scent of his cologne surrounding me. I turn my head into his neck and let my eyes close. After only moments, the click of Cam’s camera interrupts the silence, and I peek up to see Cam’s laughing blue eyes framed with a smile. I rise only to plant a kiss on his nose, one that I am sure the camera got.
We lay back on the blanket, and I watched the colors begin to streak across the sky as if a child with finger-paint was given permission to paint the sunset. Cam pulls me closer as the colors start to fade to black and the air begins to chill. It is now that I see why he has brought me here. At first, there were only a few, but after only moments, zillions filled the sky with their beautiful blinking lights.

“Fireflies,” I say amazed, and Cam only nods, because even though he has been here a hundred times, he is awestruck by the beauty. Cam picks up his camera and the clicking joined the night’s symphony. I sit back, taking in the beauty of it all.

“Cam,” I whisper and he looks back to me. “Why is Brendon dead?” I choke out through the tears threatening to fall. And even in the dark, I see the strain in his face. He walks back to me taking up the space in front of me, and sits partially in the grass.

“Madelynne,” He starts. “It’s not all my fault.” He says defending himself.

“I know, but you’re the only one who was there and is still alive.” I explain. I watch as his eyes dart to the left, a tell tell sign that he is thinking. “Don’t lie to me Cam, and please don’t think that you have to sugar coat anything for me.” I say angrily.

“I wasn’t going to lie Maddie.” He snaps back. “And fine, I was drunk okay? I called Bren to come pick me up.” He pauses.

“So I’ve heard.” I say hatefully. I knew that I was being overly mean, but I didn’t care.

“When he finally showed up, he was a mess.” Cam continues as if I had said nothing. “He was crying and trying to drive and explain everything. Then everything happened so fast. Bren looked at me and then the next thing I know he swerved into the wrong lane.” I could feel my mouth drop.

“What?” I choke out. He is lying, I think. He is just saying that to be mean.

“Maddie,” He says through tears. “All this time, everyone has been protecting you, but I can’t keep this from you anymore. Brendon killed himself and told me to tell you that he was sorry.” Cam said. I could see the light dancing off the tears on his face, but I could only sit in shock.

Brendon killed himself?

Cam pulls me up to my feet and grabs our blanket. I follow him in a daze as he slowly leads me through the woods to his car. He drives quickly to my house as I pull on the door handle when I hear the car shut off. I look over at Cam confused.

“I’m not leaving you alone tonight Maddie.” He says pulling his keys out of the ignition. “I won’t let you hurt yourself.” I start to walk towards the front door when Cam steps in front of me and stops me.

“I love you Maddie, you know that right?” he asks and I nod my head as he takes me in his arms and carries me to bed.

“I love you too Cam.” I say as I drift off to sleep.