La Vie En Rose

Our Hell - Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton

“Where you headin’, Miss?”

I slid into the back of the yellow cab, dropping my tote in the empty seat next to me and carefully unravelling my scarf. I looked into driver’s mirror, making eye contact with the cab driver before responding with the simple answer.

“84 William Street, please.” I offered a friendly yet, somewhat tired, smile.

He nodded and focused his eyes back on the road. I inhaled deeply and sat back, buckling myself in while we drove through the wretched JFK Airport traffic. I didn’t expect anything less. It was time for everyone to get back to their lives, including me.

The sky was black and it was pouring cats & dogs, making the temperature feel like it was busting out in the harsh negatives. The dreadful weather reflected my mood perfectly: depressed, glum, gloomy and more so, lonely. I was already ready to go back to Arizona.

I let my thoughts wander during the cab ride back into the heart of the city. The familiar honking, yelling and bright lights weren’t enough to disturb my thoughts. It was hard to describe how I was feeling right now. I feel so...pathetic. Desolate maybe? Maybe a mixture of the two. All I need right now is my warm apartment, Alma and a cup of tea.

Before I knew it, the cab pulled up to my apartment building. The driver helped grab the suitcase out of the trunk and after I paid him, he was gone in a flash. I hurried into my apartment, trying to not get completely wet from the horrid weather. I sighed as I walked to the familiar elevator and dragged my suitcase into the tiny space. I couldn’t wait to take a shower, change into my pjs and crawl into my comfortable bed once more.

“You’re back!” Was the first thing I heard when I opened the door to my apartment. Alma was sprawled out on our beige couch, with a huge smile on her face. “I put the kettle on incase you felt like having tea. Oh, and I just ordered pizza about 10 minutes ago so it should be here any minute”

“Alma, this is why I love you.” I grinned. “You are the perfect roommate and best friend.”

“Oh staaaap, you’ll make me blush!” She exclaimed, throwing her hand up and making a ‘shoo’ing gesture. “Just looking out for you, buddy. I know you’re feeling all sorts of sad that you left your new boyfriend.”

I hung up my scarf and coat on the coat rack by the door and pulled my bag over to my bedroom. “You don’t even know. Also, can we talk about how I actually have a boyfriend now?”

“Lucky! I wish I had one of those.” Alma laughed and followed me into the kitchen. “Do you miss him?”

“Dreadfully.” I frowned.

Alma hopped up onto the counter, letting her feet dangle in front of the bottom cupboard door. Judging by Al’s blue plaid pajama pants and larger grey hoodie, she looked like she was ready for bed. I didn’t blame her; we were both still on Western time.

“Refresh my memory: when do you get to see John again?” Alma inquired.

“Two and a half months.” I sighed, pulling a mug out of the cupboard, dropping a tea bag into it and pouring the hot water into it. As I waited for it to seep, I leaned against the counter and faced Alma. “Ten whole weeks.”

Alma pouted. “It’ll fly. You’ll be so busy, you won’t even notice the months flying past you.”

Before any other words were exchanged, there was a loud buzz coming from the speaker by the door. Alma immediately jumped up.

“Pizza boy is here!” She announced loudly as she waltzed back into the living room to answer the door, leaving me to finish fixing up my tea.

The rest of the night was spent sitting on the living room carpet with Alma and a large pizza box between us. We spent at least a good two hours catching up about our activities over the holidays and discussing our new classes for the Winter quarter which started in two days. It wasn’t long past one am when long and aggressive yawns were escaping our lips so with a quick stretch, we turned off everything in the living room and retired to our bedrooms.

The minute I got into my room, I pushed my suitcase to the side of the room and turned on the small heater that sat below my window. Another yawn escaped my lips as I padded across the carpet to my bathroom. I was exhausted and ready to sleep my life away but first, a hot shower was very much needed. There was still the faint smell of airplane latched onto my skin that needed to be washed away immediately. The minute the water made contact with my skin, I shivered but felt clean in a matter of minutes.

After lingering a lot longer in the shower than I intended, I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel. The anticipation of falling into my comfty, cloud-like bed in a matter of minutes was giving me goosebumps. I dried my hair as best I could with my towel before twisting it all into a messy bun on the top of my head. I was too lazy to deal with it and definitely too tired to blow dry it.

After all the usual bathroom rituals like brushing my teeth, cleaning my face and applying moisturizer on my dry skin, I walked back into my now warm (and cosy. My God, was it so cosy in here right now.) bedroom and zipped open my suitcase to pull out my sweatpants. I noticed, as I pulled out the sweatpants, a Motley Crue shirt innocently folded right on top of a black American Apparel hoodie. They both belonged to John. I let a small smile crawl onto my lips as I picked both of them out of the suitcase and put them on. I had almost forgotten that John was letting me ‘babysit’ his favorite shirt and hoodie until I was able to see him again. In return, I gave him my favorite Marc Jacobs shirt. He was hesitant at first to accept my ‘fancy fashion designer bedazzled shirt’ (his words, not mine) but when he actually realized there was a killer shark on the front of it, he quickly became quite fond of it.

The feeling of emptiness soon washed over me as I looked around my room. John was no longer across the street from me anymore. He was now across the country from me. Two thousand, four hundred and fourteen miles, if we’re talking numbers. The infamous scent of John lingering from his clothes wasn’t really helping with my sudden saddened state either. If anything, it made me miss him more.

I grabbed my phone from my desk and crawled into bed. It was what, eleven o’clock in Phoenix now? Twelve O’clock maybe? I quickly clicked on the envelope icon and started typing.

It’s weird not being across the street from you anymore. Miss you already.

I pressed send and dropped my phone next to me while I pulled the extra pillow towards me and hugged it tightly. With a small yawn, my eyelids grew weak. I started welcoming the idea of sleep with open arms. Just as I closed my eyes, my phone buzzed. I made a grab for it and read the text.

I’m a little jealous that New York gets to see your beautiful face for the next 2 months and I don’t. Sleep well, Gigi, I’ll call you tomorrow. Ps. I’m wearing your MJ shirt. Smells like you :(

I wanted to reply and tell him that I was wearing his shirt too and that I missed him but I had no control over my fingers going limp and my eyes shutting close. I was dead to the world within seconds.